The Start of Something New

Aye! I Stink at Blogging Anymore!

2010-05-25T06:04:00.000-07:00

Sooo it has been a while. Again. My only excuse is that after the last blog entry (November) things got a little crazy! There were the holidays, where I decided to go to my Dad's for 2 weeks. Figured that would at least help ease the whole my husband is in Iraq and I am sad thing. It did. We came home and it was time to start homecoming preparation. There were barracks rooms to ready, posters to make, outfits to buy, plans to be made...yea. The husband coming home after a year was a HUGE deal. He did arrive in January.

Since he has been home we have done LOTS of traveling. We went to his hometown during leave. We celebrated our first anniversary together (although it was actually our 3rd). We went to Gatlinburg, where we had rented a cabin in the mountains. In February. For whatever reason, this year, snow was abundant in Tennessee. We drove across the mountain to Cherokee, NC to gamble a little. Came out and, of course, it had apparently snowed the entire time we were in the casino. Road to get back across the mountain was closed. We ended up having to drive the long way. Problem was A) there had been a rock slide so the interstate between TN and NC was closed and B) it was freaking snowing. 7 hours later (it only took 1 hour to get to the casino) we arrived back to the road where our cabin was. Only to realize that it had been snowing! and we could not make it up the stupid hill in the car. So we hiked the 1.5 mile trip up the mountain to our cabin. In the snow. Carrying our fancy anniversary dinner from Arby's. Good times. We returned back to Texas and found out that they were predicting SNOW! We booked a trip to Vegas, arranged for a sitter for the kids, and off we went the next morning.

We had never been to Vegas and had an absolute blast! Came home once again and real life started. He is back at work and we are back in a routine. We did manage a couple more local trips over weekends to San Antonio and to Dallas. In San Antonio we went to SeaWorld and Six Flags with some friends. We went to Dallas to see some other friends off on their new adventure in Germany. We have a beach trip planned this weekend, a camping trip the next, and a couple weeks later we go back to TN. Busy beginning of summer for us.

Now that I am caught up. Again. Perhaps I can stay that way!

What's It Really Like?

2009-11-17T07:17:00.000-08:00

Some people never have the opportunity to experience the things that a military wife does. Some of the things that a military wife experiences I wouldn't wish upon my worst of enemies, some of the things I pity those that don't get the opportunity. Let's talk about the worst things. Just because that's how I roll. Before I do, though, let me first explain that I realize that some of our soldiers have it much worse than those left behind. This should never be a game of who has it worse, but sometimes, just sometimes, a soldier has too much sand in his brain to realize what is going on back home. Let's begin.

A spouse that is left behind is forced to take on additional responsibilities, coupled with the added stress of worrying about her soldier, the fact that there is never a moment alone, and of course the fact that there is no boom boom in the boom boom room.

Although some may think it is a piece of cake to juggle all of these things, I invite you to take my position at any time. I give it one week. Max.

I would LOVE to watch you mow the grass without looking at where you are pushing the mower because you are watching a child whom at any moment will run into the street because you are busy and can't yell loud enough for them to hear over the motor. I would love to see how you handle using the restroom with the company of a child at all times. I would love to see you manage a shopping trip with children in tow and make it out of the store with all of the items that you intended and all children accounted for. I would love to see you be able to clean the house with children "helping" and with them constantly making yet another mess for you to clean. I would love to see you take the vehicle to get maintenance done, where you pay double what you should because you are taken advantage of, while your child runs around destroying the waiting area. I would love to see you be able to keep up with all important dates, all events, and any appointments on 3 hours of sleep a night. I would love to see you be the cheerleader that keeps the spirits of a soldier up on his darkest of days.

You see, I don't have someone that cooks me 3 meals a day. I have to keep children, whom know no better, alive. I don't have someone that does my laundry. I don't have someone sending me packages of my favorite snacks. I don't have the ability to watch what I want to on tv or play a game without interruption. I don't have the luxury of peeing or showering without the company of a child. I don't have the ability to run to the store to browse for a bit alone or even run in and grab an item quickly. I don't have the ability to spend time with other adults talking about adult things without constant interruption of a child. I am not only responsible for myself, but also for the children that are left behind, the house that is left behind, and attempting to maintain some sort of semblance of a relationship.

I do, however, see my children every day. I tuck them into bed every night. I am not (usually) concerned that any loud noise I hear is a bomb or gunshot of some sort. I am sleeping in the comfort and relative safety of my own bed. I do get to experience those first kisses over and over again. I get to fall in love with my soldier for who he is all over again. Our connection is deepened because all that is left is to talk. I get to anticipate his arrival and the thrill of seeing him for the first time in months. I get to relish in the honeymoon stage more than once.

The grass is always greener...

Too Close for Comfort

2009-11-05T17:14:00.000-08:00

The events that occurred today, Thursday, November 5, 2009 blew me away completely. I never would have expected to hear that a soldier walked into a building full of other soldiers, on an Army post, and opened fire in this manner. The facts are still forthcoming of course, but what I do know is that for a while today, memories of September 11th were brought to the forefront of my mind.

DQ happened to be out of school early today. After she arrived, I was preparing to walk out the door to go to the store and run a couple of other errands. My sister happened to call at that time. That phone call may have saved my life. Seriously. I very well could have been in that very area, at that very time. It has bothered me all afternoon. I believe, more today than days before even, everything happens for a reason.

The reports given throughout the afternoon were conflicting and confusing. I think at this point there are still many questions left unanswered. What I do know is that there are many soldiers that lost their lives at the hand of another soldier and even more injured. The reasons why really don't even matter. All that matters is that lives were lost and lives were forever changed. I am forever changed. The way I look at my surroundings has changed.

Please keep all of the families and soldiers in your thoughts and prayers. I will have more to say in the next few days I am sure.

Sisterly Love

2009-10-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

As annoyed as I was at the time, I had to share this moment because it made me smile. This morning DQ was in my room getting talked to about being disrespectful. She seems to think it is ok to stomp and pout about being told no. She isn't 2. She's almost 9!!

So, I talked to her about the behavior and she was being punished, and by punished of course I mean I was beating her. (Don't call the cops, the child wasn't really being beaten, though you would think she were by the toddler's reaction!) The toddler comes in and stands there with this scowl on her face. She has her little hands balled into fists at her side and she proclaims, "That! Is! My! Sister!".

As much as they fight and bully each other, at 2 she's already sticking up for her big sister. It was adorable! Now, they have both left me alone in my room so that they can conspire on how to kill their mother today so I am enjoying some peace and quiet! Any bets on how much time will pass before they are killing each other today?

The Journey

2009-10-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

I am learning as I go. I am feeling my way, blindly, through this thing called life. There are so many hills and valleys. Sometimes, I feel as though I am losing things. At those moments, I feel the losses so strongly that it can shake my entire being. It shakes me to my core. Those are the valleys.

As I make my way up the hill, I can feel the struggle within myself. It becomes so very difficult to put one foot in front of the other and continue up the hill. Once I reach the top, I look back down to the valley and realize how much I have gained. In those moments, I am eternally grateful to have made it through that valley. No matter what the valley encompassed, once I am at the top of the next hill, I am able to clearly see that although it may have been difficult, I did make it through.

Sometimes I feel as though my particular journey entails many, many more valleys than it does hills, but I know as I look back through everything I have ever done, everything I have ever been through, there are in fact just as many hills. In fact, at the top of many of those hills, there is a plateau.

A plateau where it doesn’t ache to breathe, my breathing isn’t labored. I am not stumbling and my legs don’t ache. I meander easily through those plateaus.

Sometimes, on the other side of the hills or plateaus, the way down is steep. Sometimes it gently slopes. Sometimes it is so very steep that I tumble down head first and before I know it, I am once again in the throes of a valley. At times, the way down can be slow and torturous forcing me to watch my step and pay close attention. I know, logically, that after the valley is the climb up the hill and sometimes? Sometimes, I just want to wallow in that valley. Too discouraged, too worn out to bother the climb. Alas, I know I must continue.

Continue on until the journey is completed. I do not always take the time to reflect on the valley that I’ve just come through. I take little piece of each valley and I carry on.

This is a time where I stop and look back and realize that I never would have made it through those valleys, up those hills, across those plateaus without the ones that I hold dear. I am not always good about stopping to thank those people. Even knowing, as well as I do, that this journey can end at any time and for any reason. This journey can be an extremely long one or it can be one that ends entirely too soon. I am thankful. Thankful for those that have at times held out a hand to steady me when I stumbled, for those that have encouraged me through the valleys, for those that have pushed and pulled me up the side of the hills, for those that stood beside me at the top, for those that have walked next to me across the plateaus, for those that have cushioned my fall into the valleys. This is my thank you. My thank you for those that are close in proximity, those that are hundreds of miles away, those that are thousands of miles away and those that have already ended their journey and are patiently awaiting the finish to mine.

May I always have you there to accompany me across my journey.

These Kids Will Be the Death of Me

2009-10-07T05:48:00.001-07:00

Especially the toddler. I always talk about her though. it's because she's my favorite. Kidding! I kid! It's simply because she is the one that is up my butt 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I will start with DQ. She is doing very, very well in school. Her teacher says she has no problems with her and she is very helpful in the classroom. Which explains alot. You see, she uses up all her "goodness" at school. I get the leftovers. Which isn't much. She was extremely sweet to me on Thursday after my trip to the ER. Oh wait you don't really know about that...

SIDE NOTE: On Thursday, I was chatting with the husband through IM, I needed a potty break. I stood up and my ankle twisted and I heard a very loud pop and I fell to the floor. Excruciating pain and dirty words commenced. I started to feel like I was going to pass out (I do that when in extreme pain) and I tried my hardest to breath my way through it. The next thing I knew, I was face first on the floor with the toddler rubbing my back saying "It's okay, Mommy". The husband insisted that I go to the ER. I went. Wasted 4 hours of my life that I will never ever get back. I was tsk-tsked by the nurse because I drove myself and was there alone. I refrained from explaining to her that if the stupid Army hadn't sent my husband to play GI Joe in the middle of the desert I wouldn't be alone. Perhaps I will hire a caregiver next time? Perhaps the Army should provide me with a replacement husband while mine is away? Eh, I got sidetracked. My ankle is sprained. Life goes on. A life with two kids and one crippled adult.

So. Thursday evening, DQ was very helpful. Insisting that she help me get settled into bed before she went to bed. She got my foot all propped up and plugged in the laptop and my cell phone. The staples of an Army wife, or so I am told. Friday morning, she came in wondering what would I do without her there?! I explained that I would be just fine. I have to be careful about what I say because for all the hell that DQ puts me through, she is a worrier. (Gets it from her father!) She will worry herself sick. So off to school she went and I did indeed survive that day. She was helpful in the afternoon and tucked me into bed with an elevated foot again that evening. Then...well...it dwindled to just tucking me in and now? She says good night and heads off without a thought.

Is it normal for an almost 9 year old to fight constantly with a 2 year old? I mean...yes, the toddler is a BRAT. She has toddler issues of the "mine syndrome" and likes to annoy her sister in any way that she can, but DQ does the same things with her. It's like she figures turn about is fair play? I am losing my mind!

Yesterday, the toddler and I made a trip to ~~hell~~ the commissary for groceries. You see, the toddler has this idea that life is one big buffet. She eats constantly. She goes through 16 gogurts within a few days. She eats anything and everything in sight. We made the trip to the store and as I am putting away groceries she is digging through the bags looking for the goods. Seriously. Within an hour of being home, she had a capri sun (asked for a second), a lunchable, a gogurt and was bringing me Yogo bits. Honestly? It wasn't a meal time. It was snack time, but really? I've heard of teenage boys doing this, but a toddler? I fear that I will not be able to afford her grocery bill for long.

We have an extremely busy end of the week and weekend coming up. I decided to not spend so much time stuck in the house with the kids and...well...go big or go home, right? Tomorrow afternoon is some reading thing. Something about breaking a record and people reading the same book at the same time? Yeah. So there's that. Then Friday is the circus. Saturday, a Fall Festival. Sunday, a breather for me (other than the whole baking the husband banana nut bread in a jar). Monday, is a movie date (no school). Busy, busy! I may or may not survive this!

Do you have big plans for the weekend?

Pictures!!

2009-10-05T16:42:00.001-07:00

I took a picture earlier this evening of something that I find highly disturbing and wanted to make fun of my life just that much more, so I wanted to share it with you all.

This is what I took pictures of:

In case anyone ever wondered if I lie to them about the crap I deal with from this toddler. You know what that is, right? It is apple peel. She helps herself to apples, takes a few bites, spits the skin from those few bites in the floor, and then drops the apple wherever her little heart desires. Bless her little heart! (cue straightjackets)

As I uploaded the apple peel pictures, I stumbled across these other pictures. After leave, I drug a friend out to the recreation area near post. We went camping. For one night. Me, her, my two kids and her two kids. Fun was had by all. So although I am certain she is going to kill me, I am posting pics for all to adore. Truth is, her killing me isn't so scary after 8 months of deployment!!!!

The two big kids, playing DS. They camp in style ya know!

The baby. She's so awesome!

The toddler stole the baby's bear. Imagine that.

The friend and the baby. Hey, I posted the after make-up pic so be happy :)

P.S. This post may or may not have been written under the influence of pills from my horrible sprained ankle. Yup. I managed to cripple myself while being the only adult in the house. I rock!!!

Trivia Queen, That's Me

2009-09-24T17:22:00.000-07:00

This evening while eating the girls and I were watching Cash Cab. I needed a break from constant Dora, Diego and Backyardigans. Cash Cab is a trivia show of sorts. I like to be shown how stupid I really am.

Question: What is a word used to describe military members and is also slang for not wearing underwear? (Paraphrased because I really couldn't tell you the exact wording, but that is the gist of it.) Before you read further...do YOU know the answer? Liar!

Me: (Giggling hysterically because the first and only word that came to mind was freeballing and I couldn't figure out the military connection)

DQ: Mom? What's so funny? What's the answer?

Me: (stops giggling, light bulb finally comes on) COMMANDO.

DQ: (puzzled expression) What's so funny?

Me: Shhhh I can't hear the questions!!!! (feeling like a total perv)

The Toddler Has Issues

2009-09-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

The best way to enjoy Yogo bits...especially the purple ones.

Children's Book FAIL

2009-09-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

Today, DQ brought home the flyer for the first school book fair of the year. Already. School has been in session one week and two days. So, like a great little parent, I was glancing quickly through the flyer ~~before trashing it~~ and stumbled across this little gem...

Now. I realize that my husband is deployed. I realize that I tend to see things a little differently than others. BUT. WHAT?! Do you all see what I see? And the title of the book? Seriously?

Maybe I am just even more messed up than I thought.

It's a Nose Not A Cabinet

2009-08-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

Is it normal for 2 year olds to try to stick everything up their noses? I'm not talking about fingers here, I am talking everything. Beads, markers, everything. Today during lunch the toddler came over and was digging in her nose and acting all strange. I have experience with trying to get various items out of her nose and I realized that she had yet again stuffed something in there. When I asked her what she put up her nose, she point to her sandwich. She was able to blow it out and sure enough she had stuffed a piece of her PB&J sandwich up her nose. Why?????? What is wrong with her?

She also managed to get her little hands on my cell phone once again. This is a normal occurence. She has texted many of my friends with different smiley faces and such, but today it was different. I was outside and she brought me my phone and told me that her Daddy was talking to her. Since I knew that 1) he is in Iraq and 2) I was on the computer with him, I told her no her Daddy wasn't talking to her. Then I heard a faint male voice. Ummm? It was my little brother. She called him up and said HI! Whatcha doin'? He was a little confused and talked to her and then heard her telling me it was her Daddy. He found it hilarious that at 2 she is able to use my phone so well. My thing is that this phone has a keypad lock on it. She knows how to UNLOCK THE KEYS and use my phone. She has set alarms on it too. For crazy tasks like mmmmmmmmmmmmmmlllllllllllllllllppppppppppppp. Yup. She's brilliant.

Where is the Calgon?

Always Playing Catch Up

2009-08-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

I don't understand what my deal with this blog is lately. I really thought I would lean heavily on this as an outlet during the deployment, but it hasn't happened that way. I can't even explain it. I can't say that it's because I have been busy because...well....I haven't. I will put forth more effort or something.

*****Wait I just figured out what the deal is, maybe. I started this blog to be cool and to keep family far, far away in the loop. The only family that reads it even is Mom and well...I talk to her so often that I feel like to write down things would be pointless. I then thought that it would be a good way to keep the husband in the loop and well...he doesn't read it. It's not like I have readers that are begging me to entertain them...because I am sure that anyone that doesn't love me ran off at the beginning of the deployment when crazy completely took over. So what is the point?****

An important update: my Grandma is fine. Whatever the doctors saw that caused them to turn our entire family upside down ended up being nothing. There is a small something that she will undergo further testing on, but if it is the C word, it is very early on and very treatable. That was a blessing!

I guess I will go ahead and continue with updates just in case there are any lurkers that are unaware....

All was right with my world for 16 days. 16 days of bliss. This is why:

Yup. It took a million days for him to make it, but he made it. We spent some great time together and he was able to talk to his family and his children (whom weren't allowed to be here for leave but I wont even go into that). We took a short little trip to the San Antonio area where we hung out at Schlitterbahn for a day and SeaWorld for a day. Huge thanks to SeaWorld and their Here's to the Heroes program. We made an overnight trip to Texarkana, AR. Solely because it is a city built in two states. I mean who wouldn't want to drive more than 5 hours to see that? Ok. So we really went there to pick up DQ from her summer with her father.

Better than any of the trips was having him home to feed, to watch tv with, to look at, to talk to...you get the point. It was too short of a time and he has left again, but we are over the hump and it's a countdown to a more permanent homecoming now. The kids and I are settling back into a routine with school starting and dealing with his departure rather well I think. The toddler hasn't said "I want my Daddy" yet today and that is MAJOR progress.

I intend to make more of an effort to come here and fill pages with funny stories. Oh boy do I have them. Enough of this catching up nonsense. See ya soon bloggyworld!

Empty Promises....

2009-07-24T08:03:00.000-07:00

I promised to blog in more detail about my trip to Misery and never did. I don't even know what to tell the bloggyworld about the trip. I told you that I decided at the last minute to go, which I did. It was supposed to be a week long trip. It ended up being almost 3 weeks! (WHOA!) I just looked at the calendar...ladies did you realize I was there that long? Anyway...we did lots of shopping. I got THE DRESS that I am wearing to pick up the Husband from the airport (more on that later). I bought so much stuff that I thought I would have to leave the toddler in Misery to get it all home. Amber didn't seem thrilled with this thought.

I bought a fishing license and a fishing pole. A really cool pole that made Michelle jealous. MY pole came with a little bag and a little tacklebox of sorts. It comes apart in three or four sections and fits into its own little bag. Too bad that I can't get the ridiculous thing apart! We fished several times. We fished at night. In the dark. Returning home at midnight. Good times! On the trip returning home at midnight, I got a message from the Husband wondering just where I could be at that hour. The response of fishing was laughed at.

We did alot of preparing for homecoming, as I mentioned before. Since I had never experienced an Army homecoming like this, I was thrilled to experience it not once, but twice. I remember being a kid and waiting at the pier for my father's ship to pull in. This is nothing like that. Maybe because I am an adult that is married to a soldier that is far away playing in the sand or...who knows why. It was a wonderful experience that I am so thrilled I was able to have. Thanks to the Misery girls for inviting me to visit and forcing me to stay! I met their husbands and was able to put a face with all of the great stories I have about them.

I have, of course, returned home. DQ has not yet returned from her summer with her father so it it just the Toddler and I. I got news almost a week ago that my husband would be home for his R&R at the beginning of August. I can not begin to explain how completely ecstatic I am about this. I also am having all kinds of other crazy emotions. I am nervous. I am almost even scared. This man I married, he's been gone for far too long. How much has he changed? How much have I? I am so afraid that it will be like two strangers meeting for the first time. I sure hope not. I have asked a friend about this and learned that she never had these concerns...am I the only one ever? I also worry about after he leaves again. I don't want to be the person that I was back in February and March. So many emotions so little time.

And lastly...my family has received some bad news in the last week as well. My grandmother, whom is 75, has been ~~diagnosed~~ told that she has many lesions, tumors, spots consistent with a very aggressive cancer. I can't technically say diagnosed until after she sees the oncologist, I suppose, but the doctors are pretty certain. The prognosis seems grim considering and I ask that you keep my Grandmother and the rest of my family in your thoughts as we all come to terms with this.

To the Unknown Driver of the Blue Car

2009-07-08T17:49:00.000-07:00

Dear driver:

I saw you driving down I35 south, just south of Oklahoma City at about 4:45 this afternoon. I wanted to say a HUGE thanks to you. It seems that you and I have a pet peeve in common; those that choose to wait until the very last second to merge when their lane ends. I was a couple of cars behind you when I saw you get into the left lane, the lane that ended in less than two miles, the lane that had people zooming by only to cause a huge bottleneck at the end. At first, I must admit, I thought to myself, what a freaking jackass! But THEN!!!! Then, you slowed down and stopped all those people zooming by. I did see the one guy that passed you in the emergency lane. I am glad you then decided to straddle the lanes so that no one else got passed.

It gave me quite the laugh when people behind you were honking and cursing and even working their way across traffic to get two lanes over and stop and flip you off. It made me giggle. Perhaps they should learn that waiting until the.last.second only makes traffic much, much worse.

Thanks for making that traffic a little more entertaining and a lot more bearable for those few minutes. It made my day in this horrible trip home.

Quickie

2009-07-06T23:11:00.000-07:00

Just a really fast update....

I am still in Missouri. I like it here. There are crazy people like me here. I fit in.

My wonderful friends here invited (or forced a little) me to stay and attend THE homecoming ceremony. Their families are now whole again and I am so glad to have been a part of it.

I am heading home tomorrow, so beware middle of nowhere Oklahoma!!

I will post the craziness and the millions of pics soon!

What am I? A Truck Driver?

2009-06-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

Over the last several, like 6, years I have made some good friends on the internet. I met my best friend and husband online. Yes, I did. Don't look so surprised! I also met a woman whose husband was in the Marine Corps and was deployed. She and I became great friends during that deployment. He returned safely and they continued on with their lives. She and I have always kept in touch, regardless of how long we did go between speaking, we were always able to catch each other up and continue on in our friendship. She was there with me through my divorce, when I met my husband, when he enlisted again, when we were preparing for our first deployment, and throughout this horrible roller coaster of a deployment. She introduced me to her and her that are friends in Missouri, via the internet of course, and I have blogged about our silly and hilarious time spent chatting online before. Through all of this, we never met in person.

After my long vacation in Tennessee, coming back to an empty house with DQ gone was sad for me. My great friends in Misery kept telling me that I should come and see them. I kept thinking about how long that drive is and saying no way. I was finally convinced a week ago to just go. Thanks, Mom! I am really not a last minute, jump in the car kinda girl, but last Thursday, I did just that. I decided about mid morning that I would pack up and make a trip to Misery to see these girls. They are on the very last leg of a very, very long deployment. I believe their husbands have been gone somewhere around 14 months. I have been able to spend a week soaking up the excitement of preparing for the soldiers to return from Iraq. I have glued and cut and traced along side these girls for days making welcome home signs for close to 200 soldiers. I have loved every minute of it. It has been just what I needed as I reach almost halfway through this deployment.

It has been refreshing to see these strong women who have made it through a much longer deployment than my own. Their excitement for the homecoming of their soldiers is contagious. I am thrilled for them. They have taken me in, even though I could have easily been a murderer, thanks Alex. Even though they have so much going on in their lives right now that it makes my head spin. They have introduced me to a few other wives, too. They have made me feel as though it is possible to get through this year with my sanity as in tact as it was before the year started. I can't just say in tact because we all know that it was never completely in tact.

I will post more about this adventure in Misery soon, but I had to at least get out there that Amber, Michelle, Brandy, Bre, and even Alex whom I just met, have given me the boost that I needed to get through this deployment. They also taught me that I should start homecoming preparations very early or I will be completely insane by the time the Husband actually returns. Oh, and that anything said around a bunch of women who have been without their husbands for a very long time can be turned into something dirty. Always.

Thanks ladies! This week has meant more to me than you could every know. I promise to invite you down to Texas to make signs and stuff when it's my turn!

Where Has the Time Gone?

2009-06-10T07:12:00.000-07:00

I just looked at my blog and am dumbfounded that I haven't posted since April 1st...and even that was some sort of weird subliminal message type thing. What can I say? I was having a rough day? I have no idea why I haven't blogged or commented on the blogs I read. I do read them. Sometimes it takes me a while to get to them though. Come to think of it, that's probably why I don't comment. If I comment on a post written two weeks ago I look a little slow. You see?

Anyway. Not much has changed. Still on this sucky deployment roller coaster. I have (finally) moved beyond the overwhelming need to sit at the computer and never leave my house because I must wait at all times for the Husband to appear. I still try to be around at times that he is likely to be around, but it is not the same overwhelming need as it was in the beginning. I still miss him like crazy and still can't wait for his return, but I am functioning again.

I took a 3 week vacation recently. I spent 5 days with my family in Mississippi and a couple of weeks with the Husband's family. And yes, Mom, I know you guys are my family too. I had to go to attempt to take care of some of the mess that is going on with the kiddos. I will just say it didn't go well. Trial in the future. I did have a great visit though and I was able to spend some time with the kids. I am not fooled into thinking that it is because anything has changed. I am fully aware that it was because "she" wanted the things I was buying them, but regardless, I spent time with them.

On the way back to Texas from Tennessee, I dropped of DQ for the summer with her dad. I am always sad about this. He is quick to remind me that I see her way more than he does and blah blah blah, BUT I have the school year. Not the fun times. Whatever. I miss my DQ and all her dramatics.

That is pretty much all that I have been up to the last couple of months. It has been a crazy time, but not crazy as in someone come check on me like it was in say February and March. I am sure I have funny stories locked somewhere in my brain to be shared later. Right now, I just needed to catch everyone up!

So how are all of you? Will anyone even read this anymore? I mean after two months...who knows?

One More Day

2009-04-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

One More Day Diamond Rio

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didnt ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

Chorus

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then againI know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
Thats what I'd do, with one more day with you

Chorus

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then againI know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

Chorus

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then againI know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uibwcic-UfA

My Weekends

2009-03-29T19:43:00.000-07:00

You see, the girls that I play Mario Kart online with...ya know, the ones in ~~Misery~~ Missouri? Well, on the weekends they become too busy for me. Usually, I just pout in my little house in the Hood, but this weekend I decided it was time to stick up for myself. So I whined a little and got ignored alot. Then, oh boy and then I decided to get some revenge. And make myself look like a total nutcase in front of Michelle's sister who I am positive is wondering why in the hell her sister speaks to me at all. Even if I am only good enough during the week. Here is the beautiful IM conversation that occured this evening. Enjoy.

Just to help you out, Psychostalker is me. I changed my name to further make myself seem looney to Michelle's sister. The places where it says I (or Michelle) say something but it's blank? That would be the emoticon (or smilies) that we used. They don't copy/paste into blogger well apparently. That is all. Carry on.

Psychostalker says:
liar liar pants on fire
MICHELLE says:
MICHELLE says:
you're so funny
MICHELLE says:
amber is here now
MICHELLE says:
you werent the only one messaging me btw
Psychostalker says:
whatd i do thats so funny
MICHELLE says:
liar liar pants
Psychostalker says:
oh
Psychostalker says:
see
Psychostalker says:
you said mk
Psychostalker says:
3 ppl cant mk from same house turd
Psychostalker says:
tyvm amber for pointing out that i am YET AGAIN left out =))
Psychostalker says:
oops
Psychostalker says:
MICHELLE says:
oh but when amber leaves we're playing mk
Psychostalker says:
rightttttttt well im sure ill be asleep LONG bfore that
Psychostalker says:
dammit
Psychostalker says:
so you gonna come to OK next weekend?
Psychostalker says:
hmmm?
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
i knew you wouldnt punk
Psychostalker says:
whatev
Psychostalker says:
play your stupid rockband
Psychostalker says:
it makes your tits bigger is what i read
Psychostalker says:
good luck with that
Psychostalker says:
big titty girls hump wit it
Psychostalker says:
i think its hoes but thats not nice
Psychostalker says:
am i bugging you yet?
Psychostalker says:
damn im annoying
MICHELLE says:
i'm dying here reading it outloud
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
im so much fun
Psychostalker says:
but you wouldnt know
Psychostalker says:
cuz you forget i exist
Psychostalker says:
all of you
Psychostalker says:
get them tig ole bitties
MICHELLE says:
we love you dana
Psychostalker says:
im gonna do my comedy show
Psychostalker says:
right her in your box
Psychostalker says:
live and not in color
Psychostalker says:
in horse
Psychostalker says:
s
Psychostalker says:
cuz my pics are scary and nekkid
Psychostalker says:
and my boobs are big enough i dont need rockband
Psychostalker says:
wheres my pill bottle friend anyway
Psychostalker says:
am i pathetic enough yet?
Psychostalker says:
*rolls ey es*
Psychostalker says:
gotta put a space in there or it says e
Psychostalker says:
and thats dumb
Psychostalker says:
do you think your computer will blow up
Psychostalker says:
if i continue this?
Psychostalker says:
you would think a person would get tired of talkin to themself
Psychostalker says:
not me
Psychostalker says:
nope
Psychostalker says:
i like talking
Psychostalker says:
i like alanis btw
Psychostalker says:
good job on that
Psychostalker says:
im thirsty
Psychostalker says:
vodka tonic anyone?
Psychostalker says:
no?
Psychostalker says:
damn
Psychostalker says:
stop throwin stuff at me
Psychostalker says:
its not nice
Psychostalker says:
is your sound on?
Psychostalker says:
is this messing with your rockband?
Psychostalker says:
i lied
Psychostalker says:
a person does get bored talking to themself
Psychostalker says:
is themself a word?
Psychostalker says:
ill have to look into thatt
Psychostalker says:
-t
Psychostalker says:
only one t on that
Psychostalker says:
well two but only one at the end
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
do you like my name?
Psychostalker says:
NO YOU DID NOT PUT YOUR STATUS TO AWAY WHILE IM TALKING
Psychostalker says:
im gonna send my horses after you
Psychostalker says:
i think im going to have to copy/paste this into a blog
Psychostalker says:
it would be great for the world to know how you people treat me
Psychostalker says:
and that im crazy enough to talk to myself for 7 minutes now
MICHELLE says:
lmaqo your a freak
MICHELLE says:
i love it
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
im so bloggin this
Psychostalker says:
really i am
Psychostalker says:
i mean what do i have to lose

This Is Becoming a Habit

2009-03-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

I guess I can't use my sour moods as a reason for not blogging anymore. I had a ~~great~~ fabulous week in Tennessee this past week and still didn't blog much. I will blame it on being busy. Which I was. Way more busy than I have been in a month at home alone. My days are all confused, but I went and got a manicure and my eyebrows waxed with my sister while home. I have never paid someone to "do" my 'brows, and I will never again, thank you very much. I wandered a mall with sister and mom one day. Hopefully the husband isn't reading this from the sandbox, but I spent LOTS of money in Walmart there. As if there isn't one here or something. I had a night out with my sister, too. I learned that returning home at 4am KNOWING you have a toddler that doesn't sleep past 7 or so is DUMB. I am too old for all that business. Really. And yes, for those nosey-all-in-my-bidness people, I had the permission of the husband.

So, we did get the toddler's birthday party done up. And the husband was able to join us via webcam. It was special for him I am sure. And for his family members that don't get to see/talk to him almost daily. For me, it was bittersweet. I mean, wow, technology afforded my husband the ability to watch (not listen because he didn't bring headphones to the cafe, but I do believe that may have been done on purpose) his baby girl's birthday party in Tennessee all the way from Iraq. At the same time though, it really drove home how much these soldiers miss when they are gone for a year or longer. It was a difficult day for me, no matter the reason.

I went to dinner with family a couple times during the week. I totally took advantage of being on "vacation". The night after I arrived I took Mom, Steve, and D to mexican food. It was a craving I had been dealing with for a LONG time. You see, mexican restaurants in Texas don't serve white cheese dip. It's yellow. I like white. Dammit. So anyway, I forced them to eat mexican. Again. Apparently it was the parents' second time and the ~~kiddo~~ teenager's 3rd for the week. It was his birthday week and mexican is his food of choice. There was a night that Mom had something church related to do and Steve was working late, so it was D, the toddler, and me. I could easily have cooked. There was food there to be cooked. I decided early in the day that pizza it was. Totally took advantage of "vacation" time. Oh, and the night before I left I went to dinner with Mom, the toddler, and Auntie. To my favorite restaurant. The OG. Yum. I meant to hit up the mexican place again in the week, but ran out of time. I am certain any weight lost before leaving was gained back. Lost it in a month, gained back in a week. That sucks.

We made our way back to Texas yesterday. I am sick. The first pilot tried to scare the crap out of me on landing. It caused my ear to feel like I was underwater. All day. I finally fixed it last night by ramming a screwdriver in there to relieve the pressure. No, not really. A hot washcloth did the trick. So now I am home. Can't say I am happy to be home, but I am here.

Need to Get Better

2009-03-18T05:29:00.000-07:00

I really need to get better about blogging. It isn't like I don't have enough time sitting in front of the computer. I guess I just don't have enough to say these days.

I am home for Spring Break. I am loving it. I am hopefully getting my mental issues stabilized. I feel like it is helping.

I am missing my Wii time with the girls. We play Mario Kart together every night. From the comfort of our own homes. I am in Texas. They are in Misery. There is even someone that occasionally joins us from Alabama. Crazy stuff. I am certain they haven't played a bit since I left. Wouldn't want me to feel all left out. Right? Girls? Hello? Hmmmm.

Things have been going well here. I am sleeping a bit more and feeling alot less stressed. I am trying NOT to think about leaving. Hopefully the progress I have made will not reverse.

Today is the birthday party for the Toddler. We are having it a little early because we will be gone before her actual birthday. By a day. Because once she has a big 2 year old birthday, the airlines decide she cant sit in my lap and must have her own seat. That's silly, but whatever. The husband has intentions of joining us via webcam live from Iraq. Let's pray the internet cooperates. I will post pics. Once I steal them from Mom because I am too cool to remember to bring a camera. Gee.

Tales From the Padded Room

2009-03-11T06:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am not really in a padded room...and I haven't been. I have, however, felt close to it! I haven't posted in a while because I haven't had anything great to say. I don't think that has changed, but I felt the need to say I am alive!

Deployments stink, along with everything on the emotional roller coaster that comes with them. I am better. I am not great though. This gets easier, so I am told. I think they are all liars who just want me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The light that doesn't exist.

I am currently typing in the dark. I am doing alot of backspacing. The toddler thinks that the only cool way to watch cartoons is in the dark now. It is totally messing with my computer abilities. She doesn't care.

Does anyone at Fort Hood hear the owls? Or is it some other kind of bird? I swear its a recording. It plays all day. The same sound or call or whatever you want to call it. Over and over again. Supposedly it is to keep us from being ran out by other birds? I sure hope someone else hears it. Otherwise I am closer to that padded room than I thought.

The toddler has many new skillz. She now knows to say "no way" any time nap or bed time is mentioned. She also thinks her Daddy lives in my computer. She stops by any time I am on here to look for his face. It's almost as funny as it is sad. She gets to seem him often via webcam. They make faces and blow kisses and laugh at each other. Oh, and she shows off her skillz. Like her booger picking and eating. Life is grand.

I have left my house this week. Many times. I have been outside. I have been social with my neighbors. One of the neighborhood children had the most precious, shocked expression yesterday when she saw me wandering the hood. She actually said, "You are going over there? You never go over there. You never leave your house." Over there would be across the street where the other wives apparently hang out watching the children run wild. I told the little girl "I like my house....it's cool." What I really wanted to say after that is, mind your own bidness and where the hell is your mother kid? I didn't.

So, I am alive and sort of fine. The kids are faring well. They enjoy ramen noodles for dinner a couple times a week with some fast food and frozen pizza thrown in. I bet they will be really glad when the husband returns and they get real food. Actually, they will get real food next week because we are going home for Spring Break. Grammy cooks real food. I might have to help. It might interfere in my internet time though. Decisions, decisions. I am seriously thinking I will just pack some ramen noodles, just in case.

For ~~your~~ MY viewing pleasure....

Emergency is in the eye of the beholder

2009-02-22T06:20:00.001-08:00

I am often, lately, left wondering what exactly would be considered an emergency? You see, different people view that word differently. For example, some people believe that a runny nose constitutes a trip to the Emergency Room. I am not saying they are wrong, I am just saying that to some, a runny nose would not be considered an emergency.

Why all the emergency questions? You see, I can send a Red Cross message to the husband in the event of an emergency. If warranted, according to who knows who, he could be sent home in an emergency.

This week I have had two different emergencies. The first was that the lightbulb blew in the hallway upstairs. DQ has to have the light. None of the electrical outlets in her room work and I refuse to call maintenance to fix them until she cleans her mess. I was left to change the lightbulb myself. I am a little short. I drag a chair upstairs, climb up and start turning the fixture thing. I turn and turn and turn. It doesn't come off. What the hell? I then just pull. Praying that I am not showered in slivers of glass. It eventually comes off. I put in the new lightbulb and can't get the thing back on there. I push and push and push. It wont work. All of this while standing on my tippy toes on a chair with my arms stretched as far above my head as I can reach. After about 20 minutes, I got the stupid thing on there. I am now unable to walk normally or hold my head in a normal position. Pretty sure I should have just sent a Red Cross message that my husband needed to come home and replace the lightbulb so that DQ could get some stinking sleep!

The second emergency occurred last night. You see, after Christmas we rearranged the living room. This required relocating the surround sound speakers and such. Last night, the girls and I settled in to watch a movie. The sound was messed up. We could hear the music fine, but the words were all muffled. I tried to figure out the problem for 30 minutes. I was disconnecting and reconnecting various speaker wires. Nothing was solving the problem. When I decided 20 minutes in that I gave up and there would be no movie watching, DQ said she could deal with the muffled voices. I could not. I continued working at this for 10 more minutes. I finally gave up. I gave each little speaker wire clamp thing a good push, and ta-da! We had voices. Again, I am pretty sure that the husband's presence would have resolved this emergency much more quickly. I'm just sayin'.

I suppose I could just look at it as look what I was able to do all by myself. Even if it took forever. Even if I was crippled for a few days. Even if I am sleep deprived. Even if I miss the husband more than anyone could ever know. Even if...

Out Of It Much?

2009-02-18T07:13:00.000-08:00

I may have mentioned that the husband ran off with the Army, leaving me here to take care of bidness alone. I may also have mentioned that I have had a bit of a rough time...

The toddler is not taking her naps, thus I am not getting a nap. Which is the cherry on top of my insomnia sundae. I blame my lack of sleep for the thing I found today. Before I get to that, I must share this:

I put the toddler in her bed for naptime yesterday. She has decided her bed is not for napping. She will drag her pillow and both blankets into the hallway and sleep at the top of the stairs OR

She sneaks into my bed and sleeps. When I attempt to join her in naptime bliss, naptime is over.

This morning I realized that I have NO clean clothes. None. Nada. Must. Do. Laundry. I throw the overgrown pile of dirty clothes from my bathroom down the stairs and head to the laundry room. I know that there is a load left in there from yesterday. I know. Don't judge. I open the dryer to transfer the load and realize that there is a load in there as well. Hmmmm. It looks strange. I touch something in there and it seems...crusty. Ahhh. I put the clothes in there and didn't turn it on. They air dried. How's that for going green?

I also got a text (loving that) from the husband this morning. He is in the field. In Kuwait. How does it get more in the field than being in Kuwait? Whatever. He is not pleased. There are no showers and they are sleeping on the floor. Kind of like camping. Rustic camping. With a million men. Ewww. Can you imagine the stench cloud floating above that campsite? I am leaving you with that picture.

The toddler is turning around to the Imagination Movers. She is so cute. Hopefully she will wear her little toddler butt out and take a nap. Mommy needs R-E-L-I-E-F!

Never Trust A Toddler

2009-02-16T05:36:00.000-08:00

The toddler has so many cute things she does...coloring herself with markers, pointing out family members in pictures, begging to "jump, jump", screaming for her sister as soon as she walks in the door from school.

She also loves to smell things. Like the citronella candles on the patio table. She will bring them to me to smell as well. Yesterday, she came to me while I was playing stalker on the computer and wanted me to smell her finger. Like any ~~dumb~~ obliging parent, I smelled her finger.

Later on, I had the pleasure of watching what it was I was smelling. She was taking her little hand and shoving it down the butt of her diaper. She then sniffed her little finger, said yucky and brought the finger for me to sniff. Oh. My. Goodness. Lesson learned.

Pulling It Together

2009-02-14T11:01:00.000-08:00

I have finally managed to pretty much drag myself out of my slump. It's been a really hard week for me. I can't even begin to tell you how bad because surely the white coats would be called to lock me in a padded room. Either way, I am better today...except for the stomach bug I must have contracted. Yuck. Even that is better today than yesterday.

I haven't been up to much of anything. I cleaned DQ's room one day this past week. I didn't bother with pictures because I would be embarrassed for anyone to see a room looking like that in my house. Telling you what it looked like isn't nearly as bad. The room was so bad that had there been a fire, I wouldn't have risked my life to go in there and get her...I'd be afraid I would break a leg and not be able to drag myself out. Now, that doesn't mean I would let her burn...sheesh people. I would stand near the door and scream for her. In cleaning her room, I found all of the household towels. I knew they had to be in there. Over the last couple of weeks I kept telling her to get and get ALL of my towels out of her room because I was fairly certain we owned more than the two I kept washing. She would come down with one or two and swear that was it. Right. She has now been informed that if I ever find my towels laying in her bedroom floor, she will air dry. To which she replied, that will take a long time. Was I supposed to care?

I really want to thank my family and friends that have been there for me over this last week. I know I was a complete bummer. I hope that I will be better now. Some of you know exactly what I went through, others can't imagine, but it was extremely difficult for me. Thank you so much.

100 Posts and Goodbyes

2009-02-09T05:28:00.000-08:00

How's this for a 100th post?

I was out the last few days. Some of you may have been able to figure out why. For those of you that weren't....

This was the reason for my absence. I spent every minute that I could with the husband because he left yesterday. For a year. Watching him walk away from us was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. For the record, this shit SUCKS. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking it doesn't. I will get through it just like every other spouse that has gone through it, but it doesn't make it suck any less. The other situation has supposedly been resolved. Only time will tell.

So this morning as I sit here typing this, the toddler is up my ass...where she's been since yesterday. I have managed to make coffee, but it could walk on it's own. See, I didn't get much sleep and the toddler was up before 6am and wandered downstairs alone. In the dark. I got up and after once putting the filter (minus coffee) into the machine and realizing my mistake, I put too many scoops in it. Great start to a great year, eh?

I'll be out

2009-02-06T10:21:00.000-08:00

I will be out for a while. Don't know when I will be back. Take care bloggyworld.

There Is No Family In the Army

2009-01-30T16:07:00.001-08:00

This week has been full of ups and downs for my family. Many, many ups and downs. I usually try to keep some of my personal business personal, but for this post, I think I just have to let it all hang out there.

We have been involved in a case, trying to get custody of my stepchildren. They are in a physically and emotionally abusive home and are being medically neglected. I will not go into the details of the abuse, but it is happening. Without any doubt.

Some of you may be thinking why didn't we report this to the proper authorities (CPS)? The answer to that is simple. We have. On numerous occasions. The nicest thing that I can say about the CPS in the state where the children reside is...well I can't think of anything nice to say. Let me tell you though, their investigative skills are mediocre at best. The caseworker interviewed a woman that was almost 9 months pregnant, but was unaware that the woman was pregnant. They were to investigate a person living in the household, but their report contains no information regarding that person living there. Apparently, investigation means different things to different people.

Due to the lack of response from CPS, we were forced to go through legal channels. We retained an attorney and have been diligently working towards removing the children from a bad situation. It has been a long and stressful process.

Now, on to the Army part of things. As has been mentioned a few times, the husband is scheduled to deploy. Very soon. Using the proper channels, we have requested that he be allowed to remain behind to conclude the case involving his children. Let me stress that my husband wants to deploy with his unit. This is not attempt to get out of a deployment. He is ready and willing to join his unit as soon as his children are safe. This week we were told that would be allowed. We were given a date for his departure that would allow him to take care of this. A day later, that was revoked. A day later, his flight moved up yet again. We are now looking at a deployment well in advance of getting his children out of this situation. It has been suggested that he leave his children where they are until after his return. In a year. It was also suggested that I fight for his children on his behalf. Trust me, I am more than willing, but it is not allowed. I have asked to be able to do just that.

The Army is suggesting that a soldier deploy to a warzone and leave his children to be abused. To be neglected. The Army expects us to believe that there are no flights to Iraq after a certain day. The Army somehow believes that this will not affect the soldier's ability to perform his job. The Army would also like the general public to believe that they support the soldier and his family. I would love to know where this support is now.

I understand completely that my husband signed the contract. I understand completely that my husband obligated himself to serve his country. I also understand that when doing so he did not realize that at some point in the near future he would be required to choose the safety and well being of his children or his career or jail time.

I won't even go into the fact that at this point in time, the husband is considered nondeployable for medical reasons. They have suggested that he find out if the required surgery can be performed in Iraq. In a warzone.

I am asking for your prayers, your thoughts, your advice, your experience, anything that you are willing to offer.

Feel free to link to this post :)

Good Mom, Horrible Mom?

2009-01-29T06:13:00.000-08:00

I read on another blog about how this mother spent her entire meal time getting up to get things for her children. I decided right then and there that either I am a HORRIBLE mother or I am a SMART mother.

Part of the difference between she and I is my oldest is big enough to get her own things, although she will occasionally try to get me to do everything for her.

I noticed about a year ago (when all 4 kiddos were with me full time, I was doing the married single parent thing), that these kids were determined that my food had to be cold. I would make 3 children's plates (the toddler was a baby) and set them at the table with drinks and utensils. By the time I started making my plate, the first kiddo was asking for seconds. I would stop making my plate in order to feed that kiddo. Go back to making my plate and here comes kiddo #2. Okay, you see this pattern, correct?

I then decided I would make their plates, set them at the table, make my plate and then call the kiddos for dinner. Of course, about halfway through my meal someone was ready for seconds. At least I got to eat half of my food while it was warm. At some point, I decided that eating cold food was absurd. The kids now wait until I am done with my plate before they get seconds. Sometimes DQ will ask for more, I am getting better about allowing her to get her own, but I have serious issues and am afraid she is going to burn herself on a hot pan. After all, she is the kid that managed to slam her arm in the van door.

The point? I do not interrupt my meal a million times a night. I definitely do not interrupt my meal to give the children seconds. There is absolutely no way I would interrupt my meal to give them dessert. In fact with DQ's age, she has been told if she does not have all she needs prior to my butt hitting the chair, she is outta luck.

Surely I am not the only mother that does this...right? Am I a horribly mean fatty mom that loves her food too much? Or am I smart enough to realize that patience is a virtue? Their patience, not mine.

Somedays It's Just Not Meant To Be

2009-01-26T12:58:00.000-08:00

Today is one of those days. I am making a pot roast in my crock pot and decided so nice homemade rolls would be a great addition. I can not make bread by hand. Yeast hates me. It doesn't rise. So, I use the bread machine to make the dough and then pray I can make rolls out of it.

Let me set the scene for you. Bread machine on the counter, toddler under my feet, pan to bread machine next to bread machine on counter, cup of butter in microwave softening. Got all that? The toddler was whining mommy something or other and I am trying to get the dough going. I walk over to the microwave to get the softened butter, walk back to the counter and dump it in. For a split second I thought that's odd, I didn't hear a splash (the water was already in the pan). Oh crap! Yes. I dumped the softened butter into the actual machine...without the pan in it. Geez.

Funny little tidbit from our house the night of the pageant. We weren't actually watching the pageant, but the husband apparently wanted to know who won. He flipped to the channel after the crown was placed. I was buried in my computer or crocheting or both, but I do recall hearing him say something about who won? I heard him repeat the question a couple of minutes later. DQ was standing there, as innocent as children can be, and says "The one wearing the crown." She didn't realize what a smart ass answer this was, but I almost fell out of my chair laughing. The husband was not too pleased with her answer or my reaction. Men.

One Crafty Lady

2009-01-25T14:39:00.000-08:00

I mentioned a long, long time ago that I was making a present for someone. I can't recall if I said who for or not and I am too lazy to go look, so I will just tell the story again. Because I can.

I started making a purse for my super great MIL shortly after moving to Texas. That'd be in July. I finally finished (mostly) the thing in time to give it to her for Christmas. It was a birthday present though. Not a Christmas present. Her birthday is in...ummm...July. Better late than never. Here is what I made her.

I made this from one of the husband's uniform shirts. With his permission of course.

Then there was this other project that I started forever ago. I was looking for something in my totes of all things craft and found it. I decided to finish it in time to give it to the intended recipient...only a year or two later than planned. Again, better late than never. She has not received it, I just finished (mostly) it today. She doesn't read this blog so she will never know it's coming.

I crocheted this all by myself. My hands are now drawn up into fists. They hurt really, really bad. I still have some finishing touches to do. A few bows and a little feather fan thing, but the majority is done.

Now that I have tooted my own horn, I am off to soak my poor little hands!

What A List!

2009-01-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

(TAG! YOU ARE IT! Copy and post this on your blog ASAP!) What is this?Well, you’re supposed to bold the things you’ve done so readerscan find out how you've led an awesome life so far.(wink,wink!)

I had to change it up a little so I could be different. The green things are things I WANT to do. The red are things I have done. The ones left black...not gonna happen.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16.Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing (caught a sand shark...I was just a wee lil one too)
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving - I am soooo on the fence on this one
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

There is a whole lot of green in that list. I really should get to it...life is too short.

Wii Fit Kicked My Ass

2009-01-23T06:04:00.001-08:00

See...I have desired a Wii Fit forfreakingever. I finally got one using some creative purchasing to avoid the pukage that would ensue for spending a whopping $90 on myself. If I really thought about it, that is not really that bad of a price considering that a plain game can cost $50-$60. Whatever. That is a lot of money to spend on something to kick your ass. No joke. It is for the greater good though. Right?

I am a ~~bit~~ ~~somewhat~~ way out of shape. And fat. The Wii Fit said so. Actually it said I am the "O" word. As if I couldn't tell that myself. I got busy on it while the husband was not there to witness my utter mortification. It really was pathetic. I had to do each little "game" a few (hundred) times to get the hang of it. Not that they are hard really...I am just too "O" and uncoordinated.

Honestly? It was tons of fun to figure out how to properly play each little game. I had a blast with it. Worked out for 30 minutes and didn't even really feel like I had. However, in that 30 minutes I managed to break my good knee. Somehow. Not sure what I did, but boy does it hurt. I am going to attempt some more Fit action today anyway and see if maybe I can get past the broken knee thing.

Oh and the hula hoop game...TONS of fun. I am positive that anyone peeking in the window at that point would have been laughing hysterically, but it really was fun. Soccer head-butting-the- ball-game totally was too hard for my unbalanced, old, "O" self. I did manage to get above 30 points though. Yes, I was that pitiful. I am really looking forward to seeing how much progress I can make on reducing my BMI.

Toddler Poopypants

2009-01-19T16:17:00.000-08:00

I am going to make this as quick as I can. Today we didn't dress the toddler. She wore her footed PJs that button up the front. All day. This evening, she apparently pooped. We were unaware of this. Usually she is pretty quick to tell us she has pooped. That or her stinch overpowers us. Anywho, she snuck into the backyard. When we went out a few minutes later she grabbed at her butt and said poop. I told her we would change her in a minute. Then she came over to me and kept fiddling with her side. I touched her and felt her PJs and her skin. No cushiony diaper. Strange. I felt the other side and same thing. She had managed to stick her little hands between the snaps on her PJs and unfasten her diaper. It migrated to her ankle. And yes, she had pooped. Lucky for me I had to finish dinner and the husband got the pleasure of cleaning her up.

Be happy that the only picture I took is completely G rated. If you look closely you can see a bulge in her right ankle area (that would be the foot on the left when looking at this pic). It was a mess in there. I am so lucky to be me.

Meanest Parents EVER

2009-01-19T08:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't been blogging much lately. I know why, I just don't know how to fix me. I am sorta preparing for the ugly, horrible, mean, lonely, sucky D word. That's deployment, not divorce! I didn't want my blog to be all pitiful me, so I haven't blogged. I have, however, been reading blogs so lil miss Derfina and Amber and Michelle and everyone else, need to get on the ball...or blog.

Had you been 'round my neck of the (not so) Great Place the other night, you may have thought we were murdering one of our children. Rest assured she is alive. I don't know how I refrained, but I did. She came in as I was taking my gourmet, fresh from the freezer, pizza dinner out of the oven and wanted to know if she could go to the park with someone and their uncle. Now, it was almost 6pm. It was getting dark, and it was dinner time. Duh.

Me: No, DQ, it's almost dark and dinner is ready.
DQ: Pleeeeeeeeease! I will eat dinner with T.
Me: No, DQ.
Tears and begging and pleading. She went out to let T know she wasn't going. The doorbell rings and it is T asking for her. Like that changed anything. DQ came back in.

DQ: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease mom! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeee!
Me: Go beg [the husband] because I am tired of hearing it! (I am soooo mean)
DQ: Please [the husband], pleeeeeeeeaaase! I will eat with T and I will never ask you to take me to the park again!
At that point, I am all for it. Never ask again. Wonder how long never is to an 8 year old?

TH: No.
DQ: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
TH: NO!

This went on for like forever. I was ready to send her into the dark night alone just for quiet. I tried to reason with her that maybe T wouldn't eat dinner until after her bedtime. I mean, it was 6pm and they were going to the park. Who knows when they might eat. Plus, it's dark. AND I am mean. Also, I had made her favorite meal. None of it mattered. We are the meanest parents EVER. EVER.

Eventually, she stopped giving us the stink eye and went about her business.

I so love being a mom. Really. I do.

The parrot (AKA the toddler) is really killing me. She repeats everything. And then the husband tries to make her repeat the naughty words again. And again. It isn't funny. Really. Last night I told her to go tell her daddy that the bread tie goes back on the bread when he is done and she told him something that he couldn't understand (not unusual) and he said the only word he understand was the B word. Which I didn't say. Super!

I also got an award from AA and will be doing that post as well as some other crap here soon. I think I am having a good day. Maybe.

What Am I Gonna Do?

2009-01-15T09:31:00.001-08:00

I am preparing myself to go back to school. It is something that I kept saying I needed to do and...well...I just didn't. Yet. I was given (pre-children) a year of tuition and books to college by my father one year for Christmas. I took advantage and went to two classes per semester (I worked full time) every semester that year. I also was able to get my employer to reimburse the last semester's tuition and used it to continue into the next year. And then...I got pregnant. I decided to finish out that semester and sit out for a while because the baby would be born and stuff.

I went back to school for a semester, maybe two, after things settled down (a few years after she was born). Then, I worked a horribly demanding job (50-70 hours per week) and between work and school I was unable to have any quality family time. Or I got ~~lazy~~ burnt out. Either way, I haven't been back to school in a few years...again.

I am attempting to prepare myself for a lonely year so I decided now would be a good time. Problem is that with all of my education, I could probably be pretty close to a degree...had I stuck with one field. I have gone through several different career ideas. I started out in Information Technology. I then switched to Business Management. Then it was teaching. Then it was Social work. I have no idea what to do with the multitude of classes that I have wasted time, money and effort on.

Today I started looking at the local college to see what programs they offer. Then I remembered that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I really should determine this before I waste any more money. Truly. They had this little questionnaire thing that was designed to help you decide based on what you like to do, your skills, and the school subjects you like. Wanna know what I should be? Do ya? Here were my top three career clusters:

1. Education and Training - The 5 fastest growing careers in this cluster were: Special Education Teacher, Kindergarten Teacher, Self-Enrichment Education Teacher, Fitness Trainer and Aerobics Instructor (hahahahahaha), and Art, Drama, and music teacher - Postsecondary.

2. Human Services - The 5 fastest growing careers in this cluster were: Personal and Home Care Aide, Preschool teacher, Family and Marriage Therapist, Education Admin (preschool and child care), and Medical and Public Health Social Worker.

3. Business Management and Admin - 5 fastest: Receptionist and Information Clerk, customer service Rep, Administrative Services Manager, Training and Development Specialist, Interviewer (except Eligibility and Loan).

Now, for those of you that missed it, I have already taken classes in each of these clusters. This just emphasized what I already knew. I would enjoy these careers which is why I took classes in them to begin with. So, I am no closer than I was. Craptastic!

A Clean House...

2009-01-12T13:14:00.000-08:00

After visiting with my OCD father and my immaculate housekeeper MIL (see, can't call her OCD cuz she might get me), I decided that I am a slob. Seriously. I wouldn't normally tell the world about this problem, but I have no morals anymore so I figured I might as well put it out there.

I probably shouldn't use the word slob. That's not really nice. I usually blame my "lived in" house on the toddler. This is not a lie. She destroys within minutes of my cleaning. She has gotten smarter in her methods though. While I clean the living room, she runs off to the kitchen or dining room and makes her messes in there. While I clean those, she goes into the living room and distributes her toys throughout as she sees fit. You get the picture. Either way, I am tired of living in a "lived in" house when everyone else's house is so CLEAN.

I just erased the paragraph detailing exactly what I did today because really? Who cares. I cleaned my house. I feel better. The End.

This afternoon, the husband put the toddler down for her nap at his lunch time. Did ya get all that? Anywho, before he laid her down though he had to change a stinky diaper (p.s. Do NOT tell the toddler she has a stinky ass...she will repeat). He decided to leave her pants off. After naptime, I was sitting her playing Guitar Hero (housework was done yo) and she walked up to me. I assume her finger was covered in poop (playing the game, duh!) because there was a HORRIBLE smell and said something then wiped it on her shirt. Super. She is no longer allowed to go pantless.

How was everyone else's Monday?

Horrible Coffee, Prayers Needed & Beautiful People

2009-01-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

This morning, as with most mornings, the husband made a pot of coffee before he left for PT. For you civilian types, that's the military's exercise regime. Anywho, he got home before I made my first cup of coffee and informed me that the coffee was "really strong" for some reason today. I went about my business and made my cup. It was AWFUL. I mean really, really awful. I just poured it out and decided to go without my coffee this morning.

Later on, I was preparing for a grocery store trip and was taking stock of what I had and what I needed. I started looking for the coffee that he had picked up at the shopette yesterday and couldn't figure out where he had hidden it. I did spot what I thought was the instant coffee I had bought to make a coffee milkshake drink, but that was all I could find. Strange. I added coffee to my mental list and off I went. When I got home, he was here for lunch and I pointed out that the coffee was really nasty this morning. I also asked him where the coffee he had bought was. Yep. That INSTANT coffee I spotted? He had used that to make coffee this morning. I tried my hardest not to laugh at him as I pointed out the word INSTANT on the label. Poor thing. Good thing I grabbed some REAL coffee at the store. Tomorrow should be more caffeinated.

***By the husband's request I am adding that he gets up at 5am and is not really with it in the mornings.***

I am not going to dwell on this subject very long, but the situation that I have referred to a few times on this blog? Well, don't forget to keep praying and making your sacrifices or whatever for us. We had a setback in that situation today and I am just going to look at it as a speed bump. It will all work out the way it is supposed to. Right? RIGHT?! Since we all know that I am always right, this means that the situation will work out to MY way. Maybe I should start a separate blog just for this situation. Maybe it would help someone that was in the same predicament? Surely there can't be more than one person in the world like what we are dealing with though, right?

In any event, we had family pictures made while we were on our trip. We had our entire family together and went for it. They turned out really good...even with me in them! I am pleased with my beautiful family!

I'm Backkkkkk

2009-01-04T18:00:00.001-08:00

For now. I won't go into all of that right now, but if I happen to disappear unexpectedly, I am alive. Just not here.

The trip is over. I am back home. It was a horribly long drive. Never trust Mapquest's directions. It stinks.

I miss the family already. Actually, I missed them from the moment that I got into the van headed home. Mostly because I was dreading the 16 hour ride back to the (not so) Great Place. Kidding. I missed them because I love them. Duh.

While on this trip, I became obsessed with something new. I am not one that can say I do not have an addictive personality. Unfortunately. For me, my husband and my MIL. I began reading Twilight on Monday, December 22nd. I finished the last book of the series this morning. Now, I don't know what to do with myself. The series was so good that I couldn't stop myself from reading constantly. The husband had to put his foot down when I was going to take the book with me into the restroom of a gas station along the route. Sigh. Anywho, I am sure you are all wondering what the MIL has to do with this addiction? You see, I was at her house when I read all of these books (except for the 4th) and as I finished them, I passed them on to her. Now, she is addicted. Oh, the 4th one will hopefully make it to the post office tomorrow, Mom. Unless I decide to withhold the "fix" for a while. hehe I am EVIL.

So, after I finished the book this morning, I decided it was time to take down the tree and put away the decorations. I also decided this was a good time to rearrange the furniture. The husband loves me. Actually, he wasn't too hard to convince because he wanted to be able to connect his stinking game system to the internet and we didn't have a long enough cord. That is, until we were halfway through rearranging and he found a cord I had stashed somewhere. hehe Evil.

Now, we have rearranged the house, put together bikes and trikes, and I am stuck with nothing to do so I thought I would entertain you. I know, you are so lucky!

I have to mention that I was most not happy about returning home tonight when I realized that dinner wasn't making itself. Crap! Think I could convince the MIL to come and live in Texas so she could cook for me every night? I guess I will survive...and resume my cooking duties. Sure was nice...

We had a wonderful, exciting, busy, and exhausting Christmas. We went to Gatlinburg on New Year's Eve and it was all of those things too. Ha! Had to throw that in there. I hope that you all had a great holiday season!

What's a Trip Without Chaos?

2008-12-28T08:01:00.001-08:00

It has been a while since I actually posted so I thought I would give some updates.

Being the phenomenal procrastinator that I am, our trip was scheduled to begin on Saturday the 20th. I had plotted and begged trying to figure out a way to start the trip on Friday because that would give me more time with my family. I had nothing done though. Still had gifts to wrap, laundry to do, and I still had to pack. Of course, because I had nothing done, the husband's unit decides that they can sign out early and start their leave on Friday. Nice, eh? I busted my butt to try and get things done and waited for the husband to arrive. He finally did and we decided there was still too much that really needed to be done so we would stick with the original plan of leaving at 3am Saturday. Which turned out to be 4am we got on the road.

The first leg of our trip took us to my dad's house. It was the longest day in a car...ever. I worried myself sick about the problems we had been having with the van so I was miserable! We made it, without incident, in about 10 hours. With two kids and a dog. Shew!

We had dinner and Christmas at my sister's Saturday. I finally got to meet my neice who is 10 months old and see my 2 year old nephew for the third time. Oh and meet my newest nephew who is 5 months old. Crazy how I never see my family! Thanks, Army!

We only spent a couple of days with my family and headed to Tennessee to see my stepchildren. It, of course, had to be drama filled and involve the police. What else do you expect from someone like her? It was fun. We got to spend the last few days with the kids and see most of his family. Well, they are my family, too. All of the Christmas festivities are finally done and so we have some down time.

I feel a little worn out. I also managed to become ill within a week of being in Tennessee. Crap! My allergies or sinuses or whatever HATE to be here. They prove it every time! We are chilaxing now and are down to only one kiddo. It feels strange. We are at the inlaws' house and are so used to it being busting at the seams with people that now it's only the three of us and we are a little at a loss on what to do! I think I will attempt to return my MIL's house to the order in which we found it. We have managed to, within the last almost week, destroy her home!

I will have pictures at some point. I have to unlazy myself and search the computer for them. There are some great ones. I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and will have a very Happy New Year. I know I did and will!!

Song In Lights

2008-12-24T22:00:00.000-08:00

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

A Partidge in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Two turtle doves.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Three french hens.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Four calling birds.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Five golden rings.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Six geese-a-laying.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Seven swans-a-swimming.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Eight maids-a-milking.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Nine ladies dancing.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Ten Lords-a-leaping.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Eleven pipers piping.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Twelve drummers drumming.

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas. I am having a blast with my family! I will be back to posting sometime after the holidays!

The Big White Tube

2008-12-18T13:46:00.001-08:00

Today I had an MRI on my knee. If you saw my twitter messages, you know I was a little concerned. I was fine until this morning and all of the sudden I was worried about that stupid big white tube. Once I got to the hospital, I thought of leaving and not getting it done. No one would know. Surely I could lie and cover my butt. Then I thought of the pain I have been in and decided to stick it out.

I sat in the Radiology waiting room and a thought occurred to me. Will they need to use needles? When I was told that it is possible (DamamaT), I started to think the pain wasn't that bad and that I could lie and cover my butt quite well, thank you very much. Alas, I stayed.

There were no needles involved (thanks for the prayers DamamaT)! I want you to know how horrible it is to lay in the tube though bloggyworld. It sucked. Big time. I had headphones to try to drown out the LOUD machine, but there was no music so it just muffled it a bit. I was laying flat on my back (I also have back problems) and my knee was pushed down and strapped that way. Oh. My. God. I seriously thought I would die. I think I spent 5 hours laying like that (more like 30 minutes or so). Not moving.

Do you know how impossible it is to lay perfectly still when you are told that is all you have to do? I had involuntary muscle spasms. My nose itched. My head was hurting from my pony tail. Oh, and if anyone saw the episode of ER not too long ago where they turned on the machine and the patient was sucked to the machine by the magnet because they forgot to remove the metal backboard, you will understand that I was in fear of my tongue being ripped out of my mouth by the magnet. You see, I have a piercing and I couldn't remember if the thing was metal or not. I attempted to remove it, but the MRI lady said it would be fine. Then she said "if it starts to bother you, just let us know". Not a smart thing to say to a nutty person. I layed there waiting for my tongue to be ripped out of my mouth the whole time. Every time that machine started a new round or whatever it is it does, I would think "Uh oh, it's gonna happen this time". It never did. I still have a tongue in my mouth. Woot!

They also made the mistake of giving me a CD with the images on it. This was promptly inserted into my computer where I scrutinized every image and then googled normal knee MRIs. My knee does not look like those knees. I am no doctor, but I think I may have a problem there. I called the doctor to figure out how it is I am to find out what my problem is (HUSH) and was told my doctor is on emergency leave. Super. I am scheduled with another doctor tomorrow morning though. I am thrilled. I will know what is going to happen before I head home.

And speaking of heading home, we leave Saturday. Unless I can convince the husband to sneak out of here tomorrow. The military has this thing about leave and days and blah blah blah. Either way, this will probably be my last post before leaving. I haven't packed a thing. I also have not wrapped everything. Blah.

Less Than Stellar

2008-12-15T08:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's me. It appears that no matter how hard I try to be organized and not get myself into pickles, I do it. I have talked about this upcoming trip for the last month. I have been making plans in my mind. I have attempted to get all of my crap together. I am failing miserably. I am pretty sure that a simple trip home should not cause all of this stress. Really.

Due to my obsessive internet addiction, nothing is done. I have managed to wrap a few gifts. I have managed to assemble a pile of crap that I need to take on the trip. I made a list to make sure I don't forget anything. Funny thing about making a list is that you have to keep up with the list. If any of you happen to see a list of random items, that'd be my packing list. Please return it to me!

This week I have to get all of my laundry done. I have to wrap all of the gifts. I have to pack everyone's clothes. I have to do this stuff, yet I am sitting here telling the bloggyworld what I need to do instead of doing it. I am thinking if I make my list here, I will be able to find it because, as you can tell, I am always able to find my way to my blog. If it weren't for this blog, I don't know what I would do with myself! Wait...if it weren't for the blog (and toddler up my butt all day every day) I wouldn't be rushing to get my laundry done. It would all be done and folded and put away too. Where it would be easy to locate clothing that is clean and wearable.

No one back home cares if I wear dirty clothes and have a Pigpen-like funk cloud following me around do they? Hope not.

I am still looking forward to the trip. I just need someone to come and get my stuff together. I want to be like the husband. I want to be told at what time to jump in the vehicle headed out of town and trust that my clothes and things are clean, packed, and loaded into the vehicle. Wouldn't that be great? How is it that he gets to avoid all of the chaos that is my life? I am perplexed by this situation.

If you have made it this far into this post, I will tell you that I wasted an hour and a half of my life last night. No, not on that. We watched The Happening. I want my time back. I could have been blissfully dreaming or something. I hated that movie. The night before, we watched Shutter. That was a creepy, but good movie. It has a The Ring type feel to it. I also wasted countless hours playing Rayman Raving Rabbids this weekend. It was great. Maybe all of the game playing and movie watching has something to do with my lack of getting anything done?

If my posting for the next month is spotty, please understand. I am busily preparing for the trip and then taking the trip. Who am I kidding? You all know I will be here to rant!

Yeah, Ummm, Sure

2008-12-11T18:27:00.000-08:00

DQ and I were discussing our upcoming trip. We are all so excited! I was a little shocked when my baby brother sent me a text mentioning how thrilled he is to see us. The more we texted, the more I realized I don't even know the last time I saw my baby brother. Isn't that absurd? I am sure it was on one of my visits to my Dad's house, but neither of us can remember when it would have been. It was at least 3 years ago because somewhere around 3 years ago we had family portraits. I don't believe I have seen him since. He was in the Navy and stationed up in Yankeeville. Now he is married (never met her) and has a baby!

I have also not seen my other brother and my sister since January. My sister has two kids now. She only had one in January. I have only seen that nephew twice and he is 2. I haven't met my neice yet. It really is pathetic. I don't know how things like this happen. I will just blame the military. Sounds good to me. So, not only does this trip mean I get to reunite with people I was used to seeing DAILY when I lived in TN, now I will reunite with my blood family that I never see. Ever. Apparently.

Enough about me and my pathetic family relations. You should check out this new giveaway on this fantabulous blog that I will now stalk forever and ever.

Out of Control

2008-12-10T10:59:00.000-08:00

I think I am stressing everyone in my life out. Seriously. I am stressing me out so I know it's getting to everyone else. We are planning the trip. No, I am planning our trip. I have so many things to try to get sorted out that it is just making me ill!

My super, wonderful, awesome mother in law has kindly offered to keep the kids for us one night to go and spend some time together. Alone. No kids. I have gone back and forth a million times trying to decide what I want to do. I mean what we want to do. I spent hours looking into hotels in Gatlinburg for New Year's Eve. I even dragged poor AA into it and kept her from doing things I am sure she would have rather been doing. Now? I am not so sure that I want to go to Gatlinburg for New Year's Eve. The price of the hotel is ridiculous. The crowd will be ridiculous. And most importantly, we always spend New Year's Eve with the kids. We watch movies, play games, and eat tons and tons of junk food. It was a tradition my dad started when I was a kid and he named it "Party 'Til Ya Puke". How could we not do this? Sorry, Amber. I suck.

I am also calling and emailing my poor mother in law at least a few times a day to change plans or add to the itinerary. Sometimes, I just need a little smack in the head. She knows this. I love her for it. She calmly told me this morning I needed to get a grip. She was right. I am getting a grip now. Mkay, Mom? Anywho, enough trip business for now. See, I am going to stress out my other reader now!

I stumbled across a blog this morning...I really don't remember how. I start clicking and there is no stopping me! She is having some giveaways and since I want you all to have a chance at winning (both of you, my dear readers), I am going to tell you about them. It has nothing to do with the fact that I get more chances to win by telling you. She is giving away this awesome thing that is a secret because if I win it I am so presenting it to someone. Mom, don't click on the links, mkay? There is also this really cool thing, and this thing. Oh, and one last thing. Don't you love the mystery? You have to click to find out what the 'things' are! Love it!

Here is a picture of one of my best friends. My friend that enables me to wake up and carry on with my day. Every. Single. Day.

Mmmmmm coffee! Sounds good about now, too!

Public Service Announcement:

2008-12-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

Put your ta-tas away when going to the elementary school to pick up your child(ren). Not doing so leaves you open to be discussed on my blog, given the stinkeye by other mothers, and makes you look like a street walker! It is also a pretty good idea to refrain from arriving at the school with a bare midriff.

Maybe I will be considered a prude for feeling this way, but I am okay with that. I go to the school daily to retrieve DQ and see women dressed for a night-on-the-town-to-pick-up-a-man almost every day. I can't fathom why a 30 something year old woman feels the need to have her cleavage out there for every little boy and girl to see, but they do it. One woman in particular I have come to look for because she is so over the top with her attire. One day last week she arrived wearing a black mini tank, a black shirt over it that was see through, a pair of tight, tight jeans, and boots with a 4 inch heel. At an elementary school. At 3 in the afternoon.

I have become accustomed to seeing women arrive with hair perfectly fixed, makeup applied meticulously, and clothing that was likely seen on a runway model. It makes me wonder. Do these women have so little to do in their lives that they get that dressed up just to pick up little Jill or Jack from school?

Maybe part of it is jealousy? I mean, I am barely able to manage pulling on a pair of jeans, throwing my hair in a pony tail, and putting on a bra. Nah. It isn't that I can't manage, it's really that I choose not to bother. DQ should be happy I don't show up bra-less wearing my PJs and slippers. Not that I sit around like that every day unless I have somewhere to go. Nope. Not me.

Anywho, regardless of how cute you think you are, how skinny you are, or how desperate you may be for attention, refrain from showing up to the school ta-tas on display, along with your belly. We (the general public) do not wish to see it. There is a time and place for everything. An elementary school is neither.

Should I even bring up the fact that this school is on a military post and unless you are the service member (which is highly doubtful because you aren't in uniform...ever), that would mean you are a married woman. I haven't seen your husband by your side and could easily venture to say that he is deployed, but I won't go into that. Basically, keep your bidness out of my face and I won't talk about how you dress like a hooker. Mkay?

**Had to add this part:
Read this post to the husband (because I love for him to see how great I am) and as soon as I started reading the part of the one woman in particular, he looked at me and said "Red headed chick?". That. Is. Sad.

That's a Wrap!

2008-12-07T11:27:00.000-08:00

What is with my this and that posts lately? I can't seem to keep my thoughts on one particular subject for very long. This is leading to the insomnia thing. Which really bites because this mama needs her sleep. I gave up on calling it beauty rest long, long ago. It's a lie people. A big fat lie. If I slept 22 hours out of every single day, it would not make a difference.

There is a blog that I read daily. Well as daily as I can. Womb At The InnSane. She is hilarious. Through reading her blog, I became associated with The Classy Closet. The Classy Closet is a social networking site that offers much, much more. They are having a giveaway right now for a Dirt Devil Kwik. I won one! My name is there on the main page of the site in neon lights. Okay. I made part of that up. I am not telling which part. Also, they have a radio show every weekday. They are campaigning for 1,000 listeners to the show on January 9th. If they reach the goal, they can submit the show to Sirius radio for consideration. Go over and check the site out and become a listener to the show.

In other news, the kids, well mostly DQ and I, have been gettin' crafty with it this weekend. We made these glittery snowflake window clings (and although the pictures don't show it well they are glittery):

We also made these cute little candy cane sign post ornaments. Which aren't completed so I will post the pics tomorrow. Oh, and I almost forgot we also started on a special gift for the Grandparents which I can't post here, well I could, but I won't because I am mean like that. The ideas came from two of my favorite craft idea places: http://www.familyfun.com/ and http://www.dltk-kids.com/ . I love those sites.

I also dressed up the kiddos and took some Christmas pictures. Just in case you missed the HUGE header.

I also managed to clean out the van. Oh! My! Gawsh! I do believe we have squatters. There could be no other explanation for the 5 bags of trash, one bag of miscellaneous crap, half load of laundry, and two vacuum canisters full of grossness that came out of there. No. Other. Explanation. I have never lived in the van, thus neither have my children. AND we have cleaned it out since the trip here in July. In fact, I went and vacuumed it out at the car wash just a bit ago. Maybe two months ago? Apparently the squatters are slobs like the people that live inside the house.

This is how we made the most of our weekend. Now, I am in mission mode. I am asking my readers, yes, you and you, to please help with these two missions. The first is to go and read

Derfina's blog. Her post today touched me in a very special place. My heart. Perverts. So go read, love Derfina as I do (I seriously think I have a girl crush, but don't tell her), and do what you can...

The second mission is this: help me find things to keep the kiddos entertained on the 16 hour trip in the van. You didn't think I would let a post go by without mentioning my trip home in 13 days, did you? Seriously. Give me ideas, websites, something. I have the DVD player, but am not going to be spending a ton buying new movies because I am cheap like that. So, help!

Typical Saturday

2008-12-06T11:02:00.000-08:00

A typical Saturday in this house goes something like this:

8am: Wake up because the toddler is in her room screaming Mama! Bring toddler to my bedroom to wake the husband because nothing is better than being woken up by a toddler jumping on your midsection (and lower hehe).

8:30am: Kids are fed bowls of cereal while coffee is being made and the parents are waking up.

9:ooam: Coffee and surfing the web while children run around tearing apart the house.

11am: Whining of boredom and hunger ensues. From the husband. Not the children.

12ishpm: Agreement is made. The husband and I will make breakfast together.

So, this happening today was nothing unusual. Neither is the fact that the husband enjoyed watching whatever movie he was watching for the billionth time while I made breakfast. He did manage to wander in the kitchen where I sent him on a hunt through the cabinet and pantry for self rising flour. He came up empty and mumbled something about not having homemade biscuits afterall before he disappeared into the living room again. I of course made the biscuits with all purpose flour and saved the day. As I was making the biscuits, something came over me. I began making comments in this silly little voice. It was something like the gingerbread man in Shrek's voice. I said things like "Don't worry I will make the breakfast by myself as usual", "Don't worry I have it under control", "Don't worry I only put a little poison in the biscuits". All of these comments went ignored. Seemingly unheard. Then he mosied (is that a word) into the kitchen:

Him:What are you in here mumbling about?
Me: Uh. Nothing.
Him: Something. I could hear blah blah blah blah blah in a strange voice.
Me: (Begins laughing hysterically) Nothing at all, dear.
Him: You have lost your mind, haven't you?

He again disappeared. He later returns at a stressful moment in the breakfast cooking process where I didn't have time to be bothered. He asked what he needed to do. I turned around with a (butter) knife in my hand. He flashed me. This resulted in another fit of giggles. Apparently, he was trying to show me where to stab him where I thought he was trying to distract me with his gorgeous chest. I put him to work stirring the sausage (for the gravy).

Of course, about the time breakfast is done (at 1pm) DQ and the toddler are coming in ready for more food. Funny how they always get two meals to my one. I will have you know, bloggyverse, not one of the members of this household have said anything resembling words of gratitude or praise. As I type this, I am being stared at by DQ who is awaiting second helpings. I haven't even managed to finish my plate yet. Aye!

So, what are typical Saturdays like in your house?

Rants, Raves and Other

2008-12-04T19:17:00.000-08:00

I have had lots going on. I even thought "Oh, I am soooo going to blog that", but then I forget what that was. So this is going to be a little bit of this and that. Some whining. Some joy. Some other stuff of some sort.

We are planning this big trip home (can NOT wait) to Tennessee (Gatlinburg, anyone?) in a couple of weeks and I have had some issues. Shut up! I wanted to make sure the kids had plenty to do on the trip. It is 16 hours in a vehicle. So I searched high and low for a ~~cheap~~ good deal on portable DVD system for the van. I found one. I informed DQ I had ordered one, and did she say "Oh, wow, Mom you are the best!"? Nope. Did she say "That is a great thing to do for us, Mom!"? Nope. She complained. Whined. I believe even shed a few tears. Why? Because there is only one DVD player and two screens, thus they have to watch the same movie. Brat! Can you believe that nonsense?

I received the system I bought today. I am so excited. Obviously more excited than the brat! Lucky for her, Mom is smart. I can hook her DVD player from her room into the second screen and not listen to her mouth! Anywho, the system is pretty, came with everything I need, and was a great price! Go me!

The other issue I have had is a little problem we have been having in the van. The one we plan to drive across the country. I think it MAY be fixed. Please keep your fingers crossed. If not, I may drive it off into a lake or river or something. And I may forget to jump out at the last minute.

The toddler's vocabulary and skillz have just expanded exponentially lately! She says all kinds of words. And I do mean ALL. The other day I was in the kitchen and did something which resulted in an "Oh Shit!" escaping. Yeah she was sitting there and said it too. (Sorry Mom!) She also will count with me, when she feels like it, of course. She also likes to point at the Christmas tree and say "pretty", then look at me out of the corner of her eye while she nonchalantly hits an ornament to make it bounce around. Yes, she knows she isn't supposed to. She also is playing the game all kids eventually learn to play. Mommy says, pick up your toys. She ignores. This happens repeatedly. Daddy finally pipes up from behind his computer screen and says The Toddler (except her real name), pick up the blocks now. She picks them all up. What on earth? Isn't she too young to have me figured out as the ~~lazy~~ nice parent?

Back to the trip home. I am ec-freaking-static! Only 15 days til we leave. Only a couple of stress filled days at my dad's then off to BLISS at the in-laws! Is it bad that visits with my dad are stressful to me? I hope not. Let me be clear though. It isn't my dad that bothers me, its the kids in his spotless, OCD house. I feel as though I have to chase them around picking up and vacuuming everywhere they walk. Now, he has never said that they make messes and it bothers him, it's just in my head. Shut up! After those days, we get to see everyone else and I can not wait. I will probably mention this trip in every post for the next 2 weeks!

Ok, I think I am done rambling for now. Oh, wait, no I am not. Did you see the story about the Bratz dolls (AKA plastic prostitutes around here by adults)? Can you believe that? You haven't heard it? You really should check into the news once in a while. Basically, after the holidays the dolls will not be sold anymore. The creator created them while working for another company yada yada. Bottom line: No more plastic prostitutes!

New Meal Week

2008-12-02T16:45:00.000-08:00

I know it's the middle of the week almost. I know that I am late posting this. It's not my fault. It's the kids. The husband, too.

I am tired of eating the same meals week after week. I had to go to ~~hell~~ the commissary today so I spent the morning going through cookbooks looking for new ideas. Boy, oh, boy did I score big!

See, I had some turkey leftover from T-Day, and some mashed tators too. I don't eat leftover mashed tators, but the husband put them in the fridge, so I had them. I found a recipe for a super easy chicken casserole and substituted the turkey for the chicken. I also got a recipe for Leftover Mashed Potato cakes. Oh, MY! It was yummyyyyyyy! It was in a Southern Living recipe book, Easy Weeknight Favorites. The casserole was a can of cream of chicken soup (undiluted), 8oz sour cream, 3 cups cooked chicken (substituted turkey), 1 tbsp poppy seeds (yeah, left those out) mix all that together and put in a greased pan. Top with 1 1/2 crushed Ritz crackers and drizzle with a 1/4 melted butter. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. This little thing got mucho praise out of the husband and he even said something along the lines of how it wasn't some other woman's turkey. Ya know, kind of a reference to this situation. The leftover potato pancakes were also delicious, but I am way to lazy to type out that recipe (if you want it ask me, if I like you, I might give it to ya!). It was easy though.

So anywho, this week I am trying all new recipes. For the entire week. We will either be very happy, well-fed people OR we will be starving to death. Either way, I will be sure to let you know how it goes! Oh, and the toddler won't starve. She can open the fridge and get out handfuls of grapes for herself. Anytime she wants. Dontcha know!

Just an idea of the recipes I will be trying this week:

Sausage Stuffed French Loaf with a tomato and cucumber salad

Tortilla chili casserole with mexican cheese toast

Ham and potato casserole with an asparagus stir fry

Salmon bake and baked potatoes

Oregano chicken

Bet you wanna head to Texas for dinner dontcha? Well, c'mon then!

Those SITStas Are At It Again!

2008-12-02T06:01:00.000-08:00

Today is the day of SITSmas. There are comments and giveaways galore so take some time to check it all out! It's where all of the cool people hang out! Don't worry, I snuck in on a technicality! But, don't tell them!

Have a Merry SITSmas!

P.S. I forgot to mention (yes, actually forgot not just thought it would be better for me if you didn't enter) the Grand Prize for SITSmas is a $200 Target gift card. Who can't use that this time of year?

Here is the link the the next card.

The Neverending Christmas Light Nightmare

2008-11-30T17:47:00.000-08:00

I know I have discussed my brilliant plans before and we all know how those turn out. Last night, I had yet another brilliant plan. We went to see:

Now this is a collection of Christmas light scenes that is at the outdoor recreation are not too far from Fort Hood. I thought a nice little drive, see pretty lights, be on our way home. Holy cow! We drove through displays forever! I was tired of Christmas lights by the time we got to the end. I seriously was afraid we would be there forever. I think we spent an hour and a half driving through there.

I took pictures, but there are a couple of problems with those. It would take me several shots to get a decent one because I used the night setting on my camera and it has an extremely slow shutter speed or something. You have to be very, very still while taking the picture. I? Have nerve issues and shake alot. From the looks of some of the pictures, someone might think I have a severe problem here.

Nonetheless, here are a few of the really cool displays they had. I am saving one display to post closer to Christmas.

That would be a male and female reindeer in a hottub!

Santa is Golfing, in case you couldn't tell.

Overall, it was fun. A long time to sit in a car looking at lights, but most of the displays were really great!

Today, I was spoiled. I got a laptop table thing that holds my laptop out of my lap and has a mousepad. Thus, I got to buy a mouse for the laptop. My little touch mouse thing drives me batty sometimes! We were in Target looking at a mouse and I told the husband, "ya know, $20 is more than I wanted to spend". Ya see, he was telling me to go ahead and spend an extra $7 and get the wireless mouse. DQ stands there and says "You always were cheap." That gave me the extra incentive to get my darn wireless mouse. And it's pink. Oh, and the laptop table thing? I got it at Bed, Bath and Beyond. It was $29.99 and I had a $10 off coupon. How great is that?

Yes, I Did It Again

2008-11-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

Every year I swear not to do it next year. Every year I tell myself this is the last year. Then, the sales ads come out. Bingo! Who could pass up deals like those? So, yesterday I was up bright and early to take part in the Black Friday madness. Actually, it wasn't so bright. It was still dark. I got up at 4am. The husband got up to make my coffee while I dressed so that I could have a to-go cup. He's the best sometimes! He even tried to tell his Stepdad that he should do the same for Mom. It didn't seem promising.

I was out the door at 4:24am. I stopped by the ATM to get cash. I take cash for a couple of reasons. One is that ensures I will not overspend. The second is that I have subscriptions and thus a fear that I will get to the register with all of my goods and my card will be declined. I have no idea why I would have that fear, but I do.

I arrived at Walmart. I expected busy. I expected nutty people. I did not expect the chaos. You see, the store that I went to last year got smart. They had a list when you entered. On the list is where every sale item would be located in the store. This was tremendously helpful. You know, they never put the items in the correct department and all. This store did not have a list. In fact, most of the employees seemed to be a bit clueless about where things were located as well.

I walked in and headed back to the toy department because DQ is in desperate need of a bike and there was one on major sale ($29). I found an employee and asked where it would be. Garden Center he says. Okay. So I head that way and found a line snaking out of the entrance to the Garden Center. Hmmm. I ask a man in the line, "What are you in line for?" his reply, "I don't know, I just want a tree." Right. So I join the line and wait. I can hear the vultures gathered around the display of sheet sets arguing and the employee back there trying to control them. It struck me as really odd. Fighting over sheet sets. So I text the husband to find out what could be so important in the Garden Center. Not sure. They let us in and it was a mess. People weren't running, but they were jogging I suppose. The man behind me, I thought I was going to end up one of those nuts on the news that goes ballistic. He kept ramming his effing cart into my heel. The first couple of times I ignored him, the next few I turned to give dirty looks, finally I turned around and asked what the (bleep) his problem was? He stopped. Apparently the must have item was out there. The Power Wheels Jeep. Geez.

I got my bike and headed around to find the rest of the things on my list I wanted to pick up. The line for electronics was literally wrapped around the entire store. I skipped those items. Don't need anything that bad. I found some of the items I was in search of in other people's carts so I stole them. Kidding. I asked where they were found. I got almost everything I needed. The stress of the crowd was getting to me, so I headed for the checkouts. There was something at Target I had to have you know. It was 5:40 and I had a bit of a drive ahead of me. I stood in a checkout line for 40 minutes. During this time, I contemplated telling the children they must have been bad that's why they got nothing for Christmas. I tried to make my self leave it all and go home and crawl back in bed. It was a tough time. In the end, the looks on the faces of the children when they opened all of these things kept me standing there.

I headed to Target for the 7" Dual Screen Portable DVD player for $88. It was almost 7 when I got there. An hour after they opened. They were gone. I walked around the store. Found nothing I needed and left. To go to the Walmart I passed on my way. It was considerably more calm in there. I got a few more of the things on my list and headed home. I then talked to my sister who had gone to Geoffrey's (ToysRus) and told me of their sales. I got online, looked and decided I.Must.Go. Off I went. They had nothing. Crap. Head back home where the husband is ready to get out of the house so we all head back to the first Walmart. I know. I know. I got the thing I wanted. A thing he wanted. Some food, and headed for the doors. It was naptime.

Every year I go through this ritual that is Black Friday. Every year I say I will not do it next year. Every year I am enticed into the madness with the great sales. Not next year. I am done.

Offended, Heartbroken, and Thankful

2008-11-27T06:57:00.000-08:00

This man. The man that I have followed from one end of Tennessee to the other, only to have to move halfway across the country to the (not so) Great Place. The man that I have spent the last (almost) 5 years loving. The man that I spent 9 months of hell in order to have his little girl. The man that gifted me with three more children than I already had. The man that I slave over a hot stove for every night...well almost every night. He has done the unthinkable. It sickens me.

He came home the other day with this confession, it I had taken me some time to come to accept this. Yesterday as I stood in the kitchen cutting the celery and onions for the dressing, it all came rushing back to me. I had been in the kitchen making cornbread (from scratch mind ya), making pumpkin pies (from a can), a cheeseball, sausage balls, and there I was cutting the veggies for the dressing. It's like a nightmare that I was living over and over. Hearing his words, seeing the look in his eyes. Are you ready for this?

He had a potluck at work the other day. The NCO's fed the soldiers. He came home with this grin and said, "don't take this as a comparison, cuz it's not" and then he said the words that changed me forever, "I had some dressing today and it was outfreakingstanding". He ate another woman's dressing and then had the nerve to come home and BRAG about it. Went on and on about how moist and whatever else he thought was so great about it. Disgusting!

Did I have you thinking he had done something else? That wouldn't have been nearly as devastating to me as coming home talking about someone else's dressing. I am so hurt. If you know me, you know that I take pride in my cooking. My dressing is one of the best things I make! Right, Mom? I decided to make my famous dressing even better this year. Maybe that'll teach him!

**************************************************

Now that my poor Mother in law is ready to murder me for scaring the crap out of her, I shall talk about today. Today is Thanksgiving. Although I am far, far away from anyone I know, I am thankful. I am thankful for all of my children. I am thankful for my relative health (it's all relative, yes?). I am thankful that we are together today. We are missing some vital parts of our family, but I am thankful that my husband is here. I know there are so many families who are missing that loved one this year. After reading Michelle's blog today, I have a renewed sense of being thankful that the husband is here. He may not always be able to be here. I am thankful that I have a home (saw a heartbreaking story about a family that lost their home last night on the news) and we are all warm and going to have a great meal. I am thankful for lots of things that I just can't think of right now.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Keep those families that have a missing loved one in your thoughts. Also, keep the missing loved ones in your thoughts.

I'm Still Alive...I think

2008-11-26T09:34:00.000-08:00

Okay I have decided that I definitely have some major issues. Like subscriptions major.

I guess I should start off by apologizing for not being around lately. I am sure both of my readers missed me. I am sorry. I haven't really had much to say. Well I have plenty to say, but nothing worth writing a blog about. Or nothing I feel comfortable writing blogs about. Some things are better left unsaid...ya know?

The neighbor that I was friend courting...well...that didn't go so well. I haven't talked to her in days. I haven't even tried to. Why? Well, because I decided that she and I weren't a good match. I have no idea why I pick apart people the way that I do, but I do it. Subscriptions I tell ya. I haven't written her off completely, but I haven't gone out of my way to speak to her either.

The friendship pool just isn't as deep as it used to be. I try to be friendly to other mommies I see. I smile and say hi as I huff and puff my way to the school in the afternoons. I try not to stare and become Single White Female on people, but it just doesn't work for me. Maybe I should start following the mommies I pass along the walk? That would be hilarious. I am sure.

We I have been busy preparing the menu for tomorrow. I am excited that it is almost Thanksgiving, bringing me that much closer to Christmas and my trip HOME. I am so excited about going home for Christmas that I could pee my pants. But that would make a mess that I would have to clean, so I won't. Anywho, back to tomorrow. I am preparing this huge meal for the four of us. It's almost depressing. Seriously. We ended up not being able to kidnap and stuff a soldier for a day (everyone has plans, imagine that). So it's just us. Which I am telling myself is fine. We need this time together as a family...at least half of one. He may not be here next year for this day. Then, I start getting more depressed so I tell myself that life is grand, I plaster the smile across my face and go cook. So far I have made two pans of cornbread. Yum. Next is the pies. It's hot as hell in this house though so they are going to wait a while. And I just set off the smoke alarm with my awesome cornbread. Yay! It isn't even smokey in here. Who knows. DQ said it smells funny maybe that's why. Whatever.

I am probably not going to be around blogging tomorrow either...unless something really funny happens. I plan to set up the computer with the webcam on so that my family back home can get glimpses of our chaos. Right, Mom?

This Is What They Teach

2008-11-19T17:36:00.000-08:00

Today DQ's school had their Thanksgiving lunch. It was a pretty big event I suppose. I have no idea how many students are in the school, but they served over 1,000 lunches today. They sold "tickets" ahead of time for parents to attend. They had their sponsoring unit's soldiers there to serve the food. DQ was especially excited to see "Army men" plopping the food on the plates instead of the normal cafeteria workers. She shouted "horse patch" when she saw the 1st Cav patch on one of the soldiers. It was great!

We arrived a little before her lunch time and as it turned out, they were running behind on lunch times because of the volume of people they were serving. DQ's teacher was really great and invited us to sit in the classroom while we waited. This greatly disrupted her classroom. The toddler was there you see and apparently all kids love babies. The teacher gave out a word search in order to keep the kiddos busy while they impatiently waited for their lunch time. She offered the husband and I each a word search to do too.

I challenged him, saying that I could finish it before him. I am not going to say who won, but I will say that when the husband saw me taking pictures of the word search he got a little bothered! He thought I was going to blog about the outcome of our little contest, but I am not. *ahem*

I am blogging about the word search because as I was doing it, I found a couple of interesting words.

Can you believe that? In a word search for kids. Used in school. I giggled like a school girl as I sat in that itty bitty chair showing the husband the words I found! I don't think he found it quite as funny. Oh well. There is also a nice word that wasn't in the list. Can you find it?

I Got It! I Got It!

2008-11-19T07:13:00.001-08:00

I was so excited to check my mail and find a box there yesterday. I found these adorable, adorable, adorable hair bows on Etsy and had to have them. Did I mention they were adorable? AND they are very reasonably priced. I was so excited that I almost posted yesterday and that would have buried my post dedicated to the birthday girl. Almost.

I bought these adorable little Christmas tree bows for the toddler and my niece:

I bought these for my older girls, they are personalized with their names:

I also got these cute little turkey bows:

I know, you are jealous, right? Go visit the wonderful creator of these bows and order yourself some! If you don't have any little girls, maybe you have nieces or friends with little girls? Anywho, there are tons of different bows, you can even get a Colts one AA! They look just as great as in the pictures on the site and they arrived quickly. I think I am going to be getting a few Titans bows very soon. Did you know they are UNDEFEATED this season? Isn't that GREAT?

P.S. If you just have no one at all to get hairbows for, maybe you could send them to DQ and the toddler? No? Okay, I tried. Toodles!

Happy Birthday, Babygirl!

2008-11-18T07:00:00.000-08:00

My Dearest Firstborn,

I found out I was pregnant with you on Mother's Day 2000. I had this feeling that I was pregnant and even though it was early I had to know. I was beyond excited. I woke your Daddy as soon as the test showed positive and we called PopPop and some friends. We were thrilled.

I called my doctor and to my disappointment was told that if the test said I was pregnant, I was, so there would be no need for an appointment until 8 weeks. Eight very long weeks. At that appointment, we were given your due date. January 17, 2001. Right around both PopPop and GG's birthdays. GG wanted you to be born on her birthday and PopPop on his. You had different plans.

I had an extremely easy pregnancy, in the beginning. I had no morning sickness. I didn't notice a huge drop in energy. Everything was going fine. About halfway through it all, I was tested for gestational diabetes. You remember me having to poke my finger and test my blood sugar when I was pregnant with your sister, right? Yes, I had that problem with you. No big deal, though. I adjusted my eating habits a little and all was fine. Except that the only thing I really craved when I was pregnant with you was Captain D's breadsticks. Strange, isn't it? I would leave work and drive 20 minutes one way to the nearest Captain D's just to get those things! Then of course, after the diabetes diagnosis, I wasn't allowed those anymore. Crud!

Also at about halfway through my pregnancy, we had an ultrasound. You refused to show us if you were a boy or a girl. You sat "criss cross applesauce" the whole time. No matter how hard that stinking lady pushed on my belly, you wouldn't budge. Hard headed even in the womb. I left that appointment disappointed and sore...very sore.

Lucky for me, with the diabetes, they did another ultrasound and we found out you were a girl. At first, Daddy was upset. You know how Daddy's always want a little boy, right? That all changed once you were here, of course. We immediately started thinking of names for you. I had none picked out, but I did know that I wanted to give you my mother's middle name. You never got to meet her, but she surely would have adored you. We decided on your name and never thought about it again. It just fit perfectly.

One day in early November, I felt a little strange at work so I went down to see the nurse. It was a Friday. The nurse told me my blood pressure was a little high and wrote it down for me so that I could call my doctor and let him know. I called and they gave me an appointment with the nurse practitioner. She informed me that I had an early case of pre-eclampsia. It was a dangerous situation and we had to get my blood pressure under control. I was taken out of work and put on bedrest. I saw my doctor on Tuesday and to my dismay, he continued my bedrest. I asked for how long and he said, "Until your due date or she arrives, whichever is first". I was not very excited about two months on bedrest.

Things quickly changed. I was rushed to the hospital by Daddy over that weekend, but by the time we got there my blood pressure was better so they sent me home. I saw my doctor again and thigns were worse. Much worse. I was weighed, as is normal when you are pregnant, and I had gained close to 10 pounds in a week. I was very upset by this. I had only gained 7 pounds the entire pregnancy before that! When they took my blood pressure, it was high. Very high. They spent alot of time watching me that day. They did tests, they had me turn onto my side, nothing helped the blood pressure. Eventually my doctor looked at me and said, "We are going to have to admit you".

I went to the hospital and was given medicine to keep me from having seizures because my blood pressure was high. I was on bedrest, strict bedrest. I was miserable and scared. I was scared because I didn't want you to be hurt. I was on a monitor that wrapped around my tummy and listened to your heartbeat (and kicks) all the time. They came in and did an ultrasound every day to make sure you were doing okay in there. They also wanted to see if your position had changed because you were being your usual hard headed self and were upside down. Actually, you were right side up when you should have been upside down.

I stayed in the hospital for what seemed like forever! Meemaw and Peepaw came up to see me and Daddy on Friday, November 17th. We visited and they went to their hotel. During the night, I was woken by nurses rushing into my room and putting an oxygen mask on my face. It scared me and Daddy. Did I mention that he slept at the hospital every night that I was there? He would get up in the morning and go to work, but he always came back every evening and slept on the little fold out chair. Meemaw and Peepaw rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night because Daddy called them and said something was wrong. You gave everyone quite the scare. Your heartrate had dropped and that is why they came rushing in. Because of this scare, I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything until my doctor came around. It stunk! He finally made it around and they fed me. Thank goodness.

On Saturday, November 18th, I had a big, big day. I hadn't been allowed to go to PopPop's house for my baby shower because of my blood pressure so everyone was coming up to see us and bring the gifts! Aunt Jessica, my Aunt Debbie, my Aunt Sherry, Jennifer, lots of people came up to visit. I got to open all of the gifts and visit with everyone for a while. Then everyone went to our house to put away the gifts and set up your nursery. You see, I wasn't planning on being on bedrest and in the hospital so I hadn't done much yet. After they finished at the house, they were all heading home. Meemaw and Peepaw too. Then, things changed.

At about 4 in the afternoon, the nurse came in to check my blood pressure. It was apparently high because she asked me to turn onto my side. She checked it again and again. It was really, really high. She pushed the call button and asked the other nurse to call my doctor. Eventually she went out of the room to do something so I called Daddy. He came rushing back. He ran stop signs, red lights, drove like a crazy man! Meemaw and Peepaw saw him doing this and knew something was wrong. After they got to the hospital, the doctor came in and said it was time. Things were no longer safe for you in my tummy. They started to get things ready and Daddy called everyone else to let them know. Lots and lots of people came in to see me that night. We were all very scared. They had done an ultrasound that morning and estimated your weight at 3 and a half pounds. The doctor told me that there was an 80% chance that you would be fine. I had to have a c-section because you were still upside down.

There was another emergency worse than mine, so we had to wait a little while. They took me back to the surgery room and finished getting me ready. I was awake and could hear everything that was going on. I was very afraid and so was Daddy. There were lots of doctors and nurses in the room because you were very early and very small. I heard the baby doctor (neonatologist) say "that's a small baby" and my doctor replied "supposed to be 3.5 pounds" and then the other doctor said "they were generous". That scared me even more. You did not come out screaming like they always show on TV. You were having trouble breathing. They quickly let me see you and then rushed out of the room to the NICU where they could take care of you.

Later that night the neonatologist brought me your first picture. He explained that you were very sick, but that he thought you would be fine. You were on a ventilator to help you breathe for the first 18 hours. After that, you were breathing on your own! You spent almost a month in the NICU. You had to learn to keep your body warm, to drink a bottle and still breathe, and you had to gain some weight. Oh yes, I forgot that part! Silly me! You were born at 8:20 PM, weighing 2 pounds and 15.9 ounces! Tiny little thing! You were long though. 17 inches!

We had to take classes on CPR and learn how to use your apnea monitor and then on a snowy day in December you came home. That stinking monitor gave me fits! It would go off all the time, two different times it caused you to be put back in the hospital and a million tests run. It always ended up being that the monitor was faulty and you were fine! You grew so fast! You gained lots of weight and were such a good baby! You rarely cried. You were so easy to please! You were easy to take off the bottle, easy to potty train, just easy!

We eventually learned that you had a stroke when you were an infant and that has caused you a few problems, but you have overcome so much. You were diagnosed as having mild CP. You didn't let that stop you! You dealt with the therapies. You dealt with the surgery in 2007. You are a smart and beautiful little girl. Even when you are rotten, I am so proud and happy to be your mother. You can do anything babygirl. Anything. Look at everything you have been through! Happy 8th birthday!!!!!

Your first picture:

7 days old:

Just over 6 months:

Around 1 year:

Around 4:

And at almost 8:

Presenting...

2008-11-17T17:53:00.000-08:00

The toddler at it again!

Manic Monday

2008-11-17T13:52:00.000-08:00

Today's post will be a collection of randomness. Because I can. I have a screaming migraine and a screaming knee and a screaming toddler. Any questions? Good.

Wal-Mart drives me crazy. They have most crafts in one section, but cake decorating supplies near stationary. That makes sense.

Thanksgiving is coming up quickly. We are possibly going to host one or two or a few (I rhymed hehe) single soldiers in our home for dinner. If the husband doesn't get on that so I can get the menu and shopping done, I may hurt him.

I have to figure out where all of my Christmas things are because I must put them up the day after Thanksgiving. Or maybe the weekend after. Depending on my level of energy.

Impatient people are funny. Walking home from the school today, there are 3,000 vehicles on the road and someone was tired of waiting on the person in front of him to pull out in front of someone so he laid on the horn. That helped.

The little walk to the school in the afternoons is killing me. Seriously. I hope something is figured out about my knee at my appointment on Weds. Or I may resort to self-amputation.

I am an evil, evil mother. I torture my children for the giggles of it. I informed DQ of my doc appointment yesterday. I made sure to tell her it was on the day of Thanksgiving lunch at her school. I also made sure not to tell her that I would be leaving after lunch to go to the doctor. I wanted her to think I wasn't going to be there. Gotta keep her on her toes, eh? She was upset and disappointed and pulled the "I'm gonna be the only one there with no one" card. We already know how that goes. She's full of it. Does she not remember telling me that only two other kids in her class brought the money in for the lunch? Since I am feeling sentimental about the brat I told her my appointment was after lunch.

Tomorrow is a very big day! Make sure you come back to check out the uber long post! You may need tissues. If you are having hormone issues such as I. Toodles!

Betty Crocker Part Deuce

2008-11-16T17:44:00.000-08:00

Today was another disappointing day. I found these gorgeous little cupcake bites and decided I must make them. You would think that my failure yesterday would have curbed my desire to reduce my self esteem further, but it did not. I baked the red velvet cake yesterday. It came out fine. This tells me that I am capable of baking a cake. Making it something pretty is another story.

I had to crumble the nicely baked cake.

Then I had to add the cream cheese frosting. Next I rolled them into balls. The original recipe did mention the need for frequent rinsing/drying of the hands. Very important detail. Definitely needed.

I then froze the balls for a while in preparation of smooshing them into cupcake shapes via the little cookie cutter. I would love to say it was as easy as it sounds and that they do indeed resemble cupcakes, but that would be a lie. They do not even almost resemble cupcakes. It was a messy, messy failure.

I convinced myself that once they were dipped, they would look better. About halfway through dipping 1,000 stupid little wanna be cupcakes, I became a bit...pissy. I decided who effing cares if they resemble cupcakes. I dipped them and didn't even bother to try to make them neat. This is an important fact. After dipping the bottom, you put them on their tops so that the bottom can harden.

When it came time to do the tops, I enlisted the help of DQ. She was sprinkle girl. I made a mess. I had yellow candy melt crap all over my hands. The onese that I get pissy with and quit trying to make them look decent wouldn't stand up. I finally just said who cares if they are laying-on-their-side-cupcakes? Who really cares if some of them are leaning against each other for support? We all need support sometimes, no?

Regardless, the finished product is not nearly as pretty as the inspiration. I have decided that unbelievably talented women who post pictures of their impeccable creations only do so in order to taunt the wanna be's (me) into making fools of themselves. However, I am going to show off my creations in all their glory.

P.S. They do taste wonderful. That's what really matters I am sure.

Don't worry I won't be trying any more fancy schmancy baking again anytime soon. I am tired of that stupid kitchen!

Mission: Make a Friend is still ongoing. Not much to report yet. I don't think anyone suspects the state of my mental health. And by anyone I mean the one person that I am courting for friendship.

Betty Crocker...Or Not

2008-11-15T16:51:00.000-08:00

I found a couple of new blogs yesterday and they had some awesome treats on them. I decided that since the husband was going to be gone all day and night today, the girls and I would bake ourselves silly.

I also promised the husband I would make him a yummy lunch and a yummy dinner. Apparently my crazy is really getting the best of me.

We got up and went to ~~hell~~ the commissary bright and early this morning. I bought all of the ingredients for the treats and for lunch. Dinner was already taken care of shopping wise.

We came home and quickly got to work. The first treat had to be refrigerated and I wanted to get it to the husband with lunch. I got the recipe here. The finished product was indeed as delicious as it sounded. Here is our creation.

DQ helped alot. The toddler was busy climbing on things and falling. I then made the husband, well DQ and I ate them too, French Dip sandwiches that I have the recipe for. He loves them and they are easy and yummy.

After lunch, we started on our next treat. It sounded so good I couldn't help myself. Unfortunately my skills do not match those of the creator. For whatever reason, me and the peanut butter buttercream frosting did not get along. You are supposed to be able to pipe those beautiful design things on the sides of the cake. I started and got about three rows over and the first row was falling off the cake. Again and again I tried. After mucho frustration where I threatened to throw the whole thing out the window, this is what I ended up with.

Not terrible I suppose.
I have baked the cake today and plan on this creation for tomorrow. Please pray for me. When baking the cake (a red velvet one) I got this brilliant idea. The batter is like a blood red. After pouring it into the pan I put a little of the red batter on my finger and went to find DQ. I asked her to call the husband because I had cut my finger. She was freaking out. Screaming MOM GET IT AWAY! I CAN'T LOOK AT THAT! While simultaneously grabbing the phone and asking for his number. I was laughing so hard I was crying. This only caused her more concern. I finally stuck my finger right up to her mouth and asked her to lick it off. She about climbed over the couch. I was still hysterically laughing. This should have tipped her off. It did not. I finally licked it off myself and showed her I was full of it. Good times. She was not happy with me. Too bad.

Also, visit those bloggers that I got the recipes from and enjoy their awesomeness...they really are.

Almost forgot. While I was baking like a mad-woman, I turned around to see this:

The toddler had gotten into the laundry I folded and left on the couch and had herself a bra on.

Dating...

2008-11-14T07:44:00.000-08:00

I once read a blog where they compared trying to meet new friends to dating, and I remember thinking how funny the post was. I couldn't begin to tell you where I read it because to be quite honest I really, really get around in the bloggyworld. Anywho.

I am a recovering Cafemom addict. When I first discovered Cafemom, I could not stop myself from checking it constantly. It was truly pathetic. I have weaned myself and now only check it when I have nothing better to do. I joined a group for my area shortly before moving here, but there isn't really much going on in there usually. I have posted a few times and get no kind of response so, piss on them. Yesterday was funny. There was a mom in my housing area that is new and looking for friends. I have no friends. Great match huh? So, I posted a response giving the general area where I live (it is a HUGE housing area). I, of course, didn't hear from her, but I did go back and read the post later and noticed that someone from my street had also responded. How crazy is that?

I decided to once again put myself out there and email the neighbor mommy. She emailed me back. We are now emailing back and forth. Sad that we live literally two houses apart and are emailing, but hey, whatever works right? I am trying my best to be on my best behavior. I don't want to reveal too many of my bad habits too quickly...it might scare her off. It's like revealing too much about your life on a first date. Think the scene in Baby Mama where she tells the guy how she wants to have a baby and goes on and on...he excuses himself to the bathroom and you next see him outside hailing a taxi.

So now, I am trying to pretend not to be a crazy, stressed out, potty mouthed, gossiping, mother so as not to scare away this poor woman that I am courting for friendship. I am also trying to figure out if this is someone I would even get along with. I am almost to the point that I can pretty much conform to whatever though. I need interaction with someone taller than 5 foot and not male. Ya know?

Anywho, keep your fingers crossed that I won't reveal the crazy too soon. Mkay?

I Am Risking It All

2008-11-13T10:38:00.000-08:00

I am going to risk tarnishing the perfect image of me that you all have because I have spent the last several months carefully painting that picture. I am going to talk bad about my children, my housekeeping skillz, and the husband. I do that already, you say? Ah. Well hmmm. I guess this won't be any big surprise for ya then, will it?

I was cleaning today...for the only time this week mind you...and I thought about blogging this cute little thought: "I despise folding and putting away laundry!". Then, I realized it's not just laundry. It's dishes, sweeping, mopping, picking up, dusting, laundry...basically anything housework related. I know. It's terrible. It's a huge shock. I am not sure who wrote the book that says a stay at home mother is solely responsible for the cleaning of it, but I hate them. With a passion. I know that my good buddy AA somehow has managed to train her entire family to do things around the house, but she steadfastly refuses to allow me to ship mine there to be Amberfied. Meanie.

Remember, back a while ago, the DQ bedroom cleaning fiasco? At that time I decided that not only was that child grounded for 3 weeks, she would also do her own laundry. About a week ago, she managed to bring all of her laundry downstairs, threw it into the hallway in front of the laundry room, and wash and dry one load. This pile of laundry is gigantic. Huge. Did I mention that this hallway is also the entry way into our home? Yes. It is. I have ignored this pile for as long as I could stand it. She has apparently had no need to wash anymore of her clothing, therefore it sits. And sits. And sits. This tells me that the child has way too many articles of clothing for one, and for two she did it on purpose. She brought those clothes down here knowing that eventually I would grow tired of wading through knee deep piles of clothing. I finally cracked. I am now on my fourth load of laundry. Mostly hers. Absurd!

Remember, not too long ago, when the husband returned from his month long playdate? I missed that man like never before, but now...now...
I want to wring his neck! His things are now, once again, taking up their residence slung over the back of the rocking chair, the couch, or any other stationery object. I now have to wash clothes every day because he goes through a set PT clothes and ACU's every day. Speaking of ACU's! Who on earth invented these velcro infested uniforms the Army currently sports? Those things! They attach themselves to any and every thing. They even attach to themselves. Prying that velcro apart is no easy task let me tell ya! I sure am glad he's home though.

In case you haven't noticed, I only do housework on days when my ADD is in full effect. Or maybe the housework triggers the ADD? Either way, I can't concentrate on a single thing today. My Wii age has declined today. I made huge improvements over my original old lady score yesterday, but today is another story. I will not embarrass myself and reveal the age, but suffice it to say it is more than double my actual age. Pathetic, that's me.

Quality Family Time...

2008-11-12T09:07:00.000-08:00

With a very high price. Yesterday, we decided we would take the girls to see Madagascar: Return 2 Africa. I saw the preview on like Thursday and thought it would be GREAT! It was fun and had music so the toddler would probably sit through it. Just in case, we planned to go during the day (as in matinee...cheaper) so as not to bother any die hard movie goers. I mean, it is a KID's movie and all that, but some people feel as though children should not be in a movie theater ruining their shot at seeing and hearing the movie. Why would these people be in a children's movie disgusted that they couldn't see/hear it? I don't know, but I guarantee they were there. Anywho, we picked a time, missed that time, and chose another.

I paid for the tickets to get in. On a Tuesday, at 3pm, for two adults and one child (toddler is free), the total came to $19. WOW! It has been a while since I went to a movie apparently. We get in line at the concession stand. HOLY CRAP! A large popcorn, an order of nachos because the husband doesn't do popcorn, three large drinks because the chick said it would be the same price to get a large as it would a small for DQ, and a small drink, $30. Seriously? I could have had Red Lobster or Olive Garden or something equally fabulous for the price of drinks and snacks? Now, you know why it is that people SNEAK FOOD into the theater. Bunch of ripoff artists! I will join the leagues of those food sneaking people if ever I return to a theater.

All of this could have been avoided if only the closest drive in theater (30 miles away) would have shown a movie I wanted to see! I mean...the kids wanted to see...yeah that's what I meant. Why aren't there more drive in theaters in the world? I love going to the drive in.

By the way, the toddler did do well at the theater. Only starting to have a tantrum when I restrained her from standing in front of me and trying to play peek-a-boo with the people in front of us. She was stopped with a handful of popcorn and a drink. During the previews, she yelled at the screen every time one of them ended. It was priceless. Good, quality family time that I will treasure for ever and ever...Amen.

Thanks to the Vets

2008-11-10T17:03:00.001-08:00

90 years ago today World War ended with the signing of the armistice. Yesterday, I attended a program at DQ's school. It is wonderful to attend programs such as these at a school on a military installation. All of those in attendance are very well aware of the sacrifices that are made daily. I teared up while listening to the children sing God Bless America, America the Beautiful, and You're a Grand Old Flag while searching the crowd for their loved ones and beaming with pride. I got to see what a uniform of a soldier during World War I looked like. I must say, today's uniforms are much more flattering. I listened to a speech given by the most decorated Major my husband and I have ever heard of. I listened as a flag that was flown over Iraq in October of this year was dedicated to the school.

I listened as children recited a poem:

They Did Their Share

By Joanna Fuchs

On Veteran’s Day we honor

Soldiers who protect our nation.

For their service as our warriors,

They deserve our admiration.

Some of them were drafted;
Some were volunteers;

For some it was just yesterday;

For some it’s been many years;

In the jungle or the desert,

On land or on the sea,

They did whatever was assigned

To produce a victory.

Some came back; some didn’t.
They defended us everywhere.
Some saw combat; some rode a desk;

All of them did their share.

No matter what the duty,

For low pay and little glory,

These soldiers gave up normal lives,

For duties mundane and gory.

Let every veteran be honored;

Don’t let politics get in the way.

Without them, freedom would have died;

What they did, we can’t repay.

We owe so much to them,
Who kept us safe from terror,
So when we see a uniform,
Let’s say “thank you” to every wearer.

What a Weekend!

2008-11-10T11:31:00.000-08:00

So following my rant, someone who loves me very much decided I needed a break. On Sunday, the husband banished me to my room for the entire day. While I was living it up in my bedroom, he cleaned the house. I shopped. Actually, I window shopped. For hours. I found lots of things to buy. I even snuck downstairs and got my purse with the intention of buying, but I restrained myself. For two very important reasons: 1) Spending money makes me want to puke and 2) someone in this family spends enough for all of us. Case in point:

While the husband was cleaning, or I suppose after he was done, he stalked Craigslist. He found two different items he had to have. He sent DQ upstairs (against his rules) and summoned me downstairs. Someone was selling two cell phones. A Blackberry Pearl and a Palm Centro. I have been eyeballing a new phone for me for quite a while, but I tell ya spending money makes me sick. He proudly shows me the phones and says he's going to email and get them. Then he shows me another posting. My dream posting. The thing I have yearned for. Someone is selling a Wii. I tell him to do what he wants, knowing he will do the right thing. I head back to my sanctuary.

Guess what he did? He emailed BOTH people. Crazy man! Turns out the phones were gone. SOOOOOOOOOOOO I got a Wii. Mine all mine. We went and picked it up and then decided we should go to a store and get games. I picked up a couple of used games (hey, they are cheap and didn't make me puke) and I longed for this Karaoke game I found. I want one. I saw one on Baby Mama and it looked fun! Those stinking things are $60. No way. On the way back to the car:

Me: (Talking to the husband) I really want that game, but I can't make myself spend that kinda money on a video game.
DQ: Mom, just close your eyes and let him buy it. Then you won't know and won't get sick.

Smart little cookie. Anywho, I didn't get the Karaoke game, but I did get to come home and play Wii for hours and hours. I know that I played for too stinking long because every muscle in my right arm and right side of my back HURTS. I did beat the husband in some baseball...and came close in bowling. And today, I beat his behind several times in boxing. Think I had some pent up aggression to get out?

OH, and so that the husband doesn't think I have forgotten or I don't appreciate it, I have to brag a little more. He got online. Found a recipe on Rachael Ray's website. Went to the grocery store and got his ingredients. Came home and prepared the entire meal all by himself. And, it was yummy. What a man! I am one lucky gal!

Last but not least, there is a contest going on over here. I am only putting this on my blog in order to suck up a little more. I don't really expect/want/wish you to enter. Visit her, read her (you will love it), but don't comment on the contest post. Mkay?

Frustration is Building

2008-11-07T11:22:00.000-08:00

Life is, at times, ridiculous. I am completely fed up with the legal system in this freaking country. Seriously. I understand that things have to be done a certain way for reasons, but in the meantime...I apologize in advance for what follows.

Unless a child is seriously injured, and I mean seriously, the state will not step in and help them. This is why so many children in this country DIE before anyone does a damn thing to help them. For over 4 freaking years I have fought this battle with a state and it is uphill. It is geared toward helping the accused. The abusers. The neglectful bitches that keep popping out more children to neglect. That's right. It isn't good enough that there are two children suffering in this home, let's add another to the mix. P.S. The caseworker from the state had no idea that this person was with child. Had no idea that this bitch was about to pop out another. She was 8 months along then. Nice investigative work, no? Also, the caseworker had no idea a man LIVED THERE with this bitch and her children. Even though the report was, in fact, that the LIVE IN BOYFRIEND IS ABUSING THE CHILDREN.

In order to get anything legal done about the situation, you must obtain an attorney. An attorney that charges retainer fees and astronomical hourly fees. Fees so high that emails exchanged over a month time period cost close to $400. Guess what? After you are done getting evidence, evidence that it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to obtain and the papers are filed, THE ABUSERS get a FREE lawyer. That's right. They get to be scum and get free legal representation to boot. While the innocent parties and the people that are trying to SAVE them pay out the ass for representation.

Let's talk about evidence of abuse. Ever met an abused child? How many of them wear a sign across their forehead that says THESE ASSHOLES BEAT ME? How many of them run up to strangers to proclaim, THESE PEOPLE HIT ME? How many of them are taken to the doctor where they tell the doctor THESE PEOPLE DID THIS? How many of them go to a therapist that the mother speaks with every visit and say THE PEOPLE I LIVE WITH ARE HURTING ME? I will tell you this...I doubt very many do any of this. So why is it, in order to save a child, you have to have these things? These children are SCARED. They are being beaten. They have gone without a decent meal. They have talked to the caseworkers that come in. Guess what? NOTHING EVER CHANGES FOR THEM. Things don't get better. More than likely they get worse. Would you tell people over and over and over again that bad things happen to you if you knew damn good and well those people were going to tell the abusers what you said AND DO NOTHING TO STOP IT?

Let's talk about the abusers. Ever met one? Do they wear a sign across their forehead that says I HIT LITTLE CHILDREN? Do they tell other adults I BEAT THESE KIDS? Do they take the abused children to the doctor and inform them I KNOCKED HIS HEAD INTO THE WALL THAT'S WHY HE HAS BRUISES? Do they send out emails and letters proclaiming I BEAT KIDS? Of course not. How in the hell are you supposed to have correspondence from the ABUSERS stating there is abuse going on?

I wonder how long it would take the same state to issue an arrest warrant, pick me up, and lock me behind bars if I did what they were unwilling to do? I bet it would be done before the weekend was over. UNBELIEVABLE.

Things You Should Never Say

2008-11-06T07:16:00.000-08:00

When the husband was gone on his month long playdate in California, I started a little entry of things you shouldn't say. I have a tendency to be a little ~~insane~~ quirky. I sometimes say things that I probably really shouldn't, but I find it very difficult to hit the mute button (or shut the phone) during these forced separations. This time was a bit different. Maybe I am growing up? Maybe I was too busy? Maybe I had at least partially learned my lesson? Whatever. Here are a few things that may be better left unsaid.

1) Via text message

Me: Effing kids and you
Him: What did I do now
Me: Notta. You know its always your fault when you're gone LMAO

2)
Me: I really hate *name removed*
Him: What now
Me: Im not going in to that, I just wanted to say I hate *name removed*
Him: Umm ok

3)
Me: You are so dead.
Him: I didnt do it.
Me: O yes you did. I woke up to rain this morning and guess what you did?
Him: What
Me: You left the windows on the Jeep cracked!
Him: I dont remember doing that. Oh well
Me: Go get some Ginko already! What do you mean oh well?
Him: Like I can do something about the windows now lol
Me: I rolled them up dude but the pristine interior is ruined.
Him: Ok lol
Me: Good Morning baby! Sleep well?
Him: How you are gonna give me shit before good morning? That's just wrong.

4)

Once learning that there is no privacy there and that the guys always try to read each other's messages....
Me: So you wanna have phone sex?
Him: (birds chirping, crickets cricketing....absolutely no response)
Me: (after about 20 minutes) Just so you know I am ignoring you tomorrow.
Him: (again birds chirping, crickets cricketing...nothing said)

Just so we are clear, I am not that kind of girl. I only asked that question because the other guys would read it, duh! Besides who tells me that everyone reads their messages? That's an open invitation to embarrass in my eyes.

Dubya-Tee-Eff

2008-11-05T08:11:00.000-08:00

I don't do politics. I will not say which way I think this country is headed. All I will say is this:

I hope for the sake of this country that the elected President delivers on his promises.

I have little faith in that happening, but one can hope, yes? I don't have little faith in what he promised because of anything more than this: he is a politician. Need I say more?

Okay. Off that subject.

Life is completely back to normal around these parts. I am pissed. I liked the honeymoon phase we were in for all of two days (hahaha). I enjoyed the flirty texts, emails, phone calls. Now I get blank stares or serious cases of huh? For example:

(Via text)
Me: Busy?
Him: Not yet.
Me: O. Ok. Can ya pencil me in?
Him: For what?
Me: Nevermind.

I wanted to be penciled in to slave over the stove preparing yet another hot, homecooked meal. That's it. Perhaps I should dig up the text where I was promised a nice dinner O-U-T because I think someone forgot about that. Do I seem bitter? I think so. Have I mentioned that I am attempting to stop smoking? It blows. Hard.

My hair. DQ says its ORANGE. Either she is colorblind or the only one ~~dumb~~ honest enough to say, hey mom, you look like you are wearing a big carrot on your head! I think she has a death wish either way!

So....is it orange? By George, I believe it is. Time to shave my head!

2008-11-04T11:35:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to get my hair a certain color for a while now. I decided I would bite the bullet and go to a salon to get it done because my natural color is so dark that no color changed it very much. Then the cheapskate in me said I wasn't spending THAT kinda money on my hair. I went to Sally's and realized how completely dumb I am when it comes to things without directions. I did lots and lots of research on the internet and set out to get a certain color.

I arrived at the store, toddler in tow, armed with the knowledge of which color I was going to get. While I was on that aisle, I started looking. I found other colors I liked better. I text the husband and asked 'Coppery Red or True Red?'. I got tired of waiting for his response and picked out the True Red and headed to another part of the store. Of course, this is when I get his response....Coppery Red. I go back, grab the box, ignoring every warning bell in my head. Okay, not completely ignoring it because I did send him another text informing him that if my hair turned orange I'd kill him.

I was going for a red something like Debra Messing. I am too cheap to pay a salon $100 to achieve this, so I opted for the $10 do-it-yourselfer.

What I wanted:

What I got:

Looking at those pictures, I got what I wanted, but that's only because I can't find a picture of what her hair looked like when I wanted it! It was a different shade of red. I am talking old Will & Grace red. I am still undecided if I like this or not. In the bathroom mirror, to my overly critical eyes, it looks a little pinkish orange. I guess I can't say no color changes my hair very much anymore, eh?

This morning, the toddler was enjoying her some TV. Enjoy!

Fun Monday

2008-11-03T14:22:00.000-08:00

Today the toddler had her 18 month check up and shots. It is hilarious to see her with strangers...embarrassing to a point, but hilarious all the same. She refused to talk to the doctor. When he talked to her she stared at him for a moment, turned her head and ignored him without a word. She noticed the kitty calendar on the wall and pointed. When he said 'yes, you see the kitty' she turned her attention elsewhere. He checked all the things he has to check. She politely waited and looked at him like he was insane. He left the room and the toddler jumped down and went about her business opening and closing every drawer and cabinet. She even felt the need to attempt to type away on the computer in the room.

The nurse walked in and the toddler fell still and silent. She looked curiously at her and all of the things in her hands. I then had to do what no parent should ever have to do. Hold my child down. Physically hold her down. She screamed. She tried to kick. She got her hands free at one point (between shots) and slapped at the nurse. She screamed and screamed and screamed. I almost cried. Poor baby. How do you tell a toddler that its for her own good? Anywho.

The nurse seemed a little heartbroken about the toddler and asked to give her a sticker. The brought over a little princess sticker (Cinderella, I believe) and the toddler glanced at it, looked at the nurse, put her nose in the air and turned to look the other direction. It was hilarious! She has so much personality and spunk! We had to sit a few minutes waiting for the allotted time period and she was not happy about this. We finished just in time to meet Daddy for lunch and she was much happier...until the next time she didn't get what she wanted. I think she is still mad at me for holding her down and letting that mean, mean nurse stick needles all over her legs!

At this moment she is kicking at the dog because she is enjoying her snack and does not feel it is necessary to share with him. He disagrees. Fun Monday! How was yours?

Just a Quick How Ya Doin'?

2008-11-01T07:39:00.001-07:00

I just had to share some things that happened lately. I am laughing hysterically, inside of course, because if I laughed out loud the husband would probably think I am even more crazy than he already does.

* My dining table is broken. DQ was sitting there having a snack the other day and we heard a crash and a whine. I yelled what was that? She replied, the table...it fell on me. Nice.

* I have a new camera and can now post pictures again. I have a picture of the toddler throwing the fit that caused my camera to be broken last week.

* We took the girls trick or treating last night. Not too far into the whole thing DQ decided she would rather go home and hand out candy. So we did. She? Is not normal!!!! Really cut into my her candy takings.

* While trick or treating, we came across a woman, a mother I assume, pushing a stroller wearing a costume. She was a nurse. A naughty nurse I suppose you could call it. Her boobs were on display. Her ass was just barely, and I do mean BARELY covered. I was disgusted. So disgusted that I quietly commented to the husband Oh, no she didn't. He laughed and said yes she did. The look of terror on his face when I reached for my camera was priceless. He said NO. I said YES. It has to be blogged about dontcha know? I mean, no one would believe this! So, I have a pic. I am posting it. I thought about not doing so in the event that the offender would see her ass plastered on my blog, but I decided we were walking around the neighborhood, with children everywhere, she wanted to display her goods, I am helping her out...

* My girls had a great time last night and were adorable.

* The toddler is going to be a skateboarding chick. I can tell.

* In case you couldn't tell, the husband did arrive home. The toddler has not left his side since she woke up to find Daddy had returned. She is too cute with him. We all missed him so much and I know he missed us. It has been a ~~good great~~ wonderful few days.

Changes, Changes, Changes

2008-10-29T07:30:00.001-07:00

Some of you are aware of my mini meltdown yesterday. Some are not. I feel the need to explain myself.

I was expecting the husband's arrival sometime before lunch today. I spent my day yesterday making homemade spaghetti sauce and baking a cake in preparation for his welcome home dinner. I have spent the last MONTH planning his arrival dontcha know. I had this fantasy in my head of how things would be...okay maybe fantasy isn't the best word to use following yesterday's bow chicka bow wow post, but I am not talking about that. Just the overall way things would happen. Again, not that.

I found out yesterday afternoon that my efforts and mental images were wasted. His arrival is not when I thought. It upset me a great deal. There are reasons which I refuse to discuss, but there are also reasons that I will. One reason is that I am new to this life. The Army way of life that is. I have struggled this month with my moods and my mental stability (yes, I think I have some stability there). The one thing that kept me going was knowing he was going to be here on such and such day. You following me? I like to be prepared. I refuse to say I am a control freak, but I must be prepared. When what I have prepared for changes, it messes up my aura. Thus, the mini meltdown.

Logically, I knew that my sauce would be fine and who really cares if the cake is half devoured before he even gets here? BUT I had been telling myself for the last week that my hell would end on the 29th, and it doesn't. Alas, meltdown.

I also am aware that he is still coming home. I also know that some of you have waited a whole lot longer than a month for a visit from your husbands. I also know that your visit will end and it will be a lot longer until he returns again. However, I have to take it one step at a time. The pending depolyment is in the back of my mind. I am aware that I may be in a mental hospital locked in a padded room by the time I get my little two week visit from that period of time, but I can only deal with that when it comes. I know that I am clueless as to how difficult 15 months is without the one that you love. I know these things. I will eventually get used to this crappy life. I will eventually be able to know that you can't plan on anything when it comes to the Army. I learn by trial and error. I've had my error and now, I know.

I sincerely apologize if I bothered any of you with my tantrum yesterday. I will do my best to keep my tantrums from you. I am very aware of what you are going through. I feel like shit for complaining. Please understand, I had no intention of rubbing his arrival in your faces. I didn't mean to make it seem like my little month was anything compared to your 15 months. I really, really didn't. I can't imagine what you are going through. I can't imagine how difficult it is. Please, accept my apologies.

****************************************************************
To the powers that be:

It is asinine to return soldiers, or depart soldiers for that matter, at crazy hours of the night. Some soldiers have families. Some of the families contain children. Some of these children attend school. Arriving (or departing) in the middle of the night is absurd. If you are going to continue to remove the father, mother, husband, wife from day to day life, at least be a little considerate of the disruption. Damn.

What's On My Mind

2008-10-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

I haven't written the last couple of days. There are good reasons for this, you see. In the very near future, the husband shall return from his month long GI Joe playdate. This means a few things to me:

1) I have to clean up the house so that he doesn't think I have spent the entire month reading and writing blogs.
2) I made a decision to make some changes around here, which I will not say yet because the husband may choose to read this before he gets here and that would thwart all of my efforts to SURPRISE him.
3) Most importantly, there is mostly one thing on my mind lately and I am sure that not everyone wants to read about that.

There are so many funny things that I would LOVE to tell the bloggyworld, but I can't. Wait, yes I can. I can and I will.

Yesterday, the husband and I were in communication via text message. I had a dilemma. I wanted a suggestion....or at least to pique his curiosity and drive him crazy in GI Joe land.

Me: Um I need to go to THE store. How should I accomplish this with the toddler? (If you don't know what THE store is, I am very, very sorry.)
Him: Take her with you.
Me: I will not take the toddler into THE store. Guess you will just have to wait till the weekend.
Him: I will NOT wait. Go. Now.
Me: What's a few more days? Friday will be fine.
Him: I am NOT WAITING. Take her.

Now, I sort of expected a question about why it was I needed to go to THE store, but no luck. His main concern is that he is not waiting. Can you imagine taking a toddler to THE store? It reminds me of the line from Sweet Home Alabama. 'Look at you. You have a baby...in a bar' replace bar with THE store and there ya go.

Later in the day, after a full day of shopping then busting my ass on my surprise, dealing with the toddler, and waiting in the line at school to get DQ, I had a brilliant idea.

Me: I think I will get a hotel room for just me on Wednesday and Thursday. You can have some quality time with the kids.
Him: What about bow chicka bow wow?
Me: Uh Friday?
Him: Uh Wednesday?
Me: I need to decompress.
Him: I need to (x-rated comment deleted).
Me: Ah. And you will. Friday.
Him: FINE.

I think he was perturbed with my idea. My brilliant ideas seem to be lacking in the brilliant department lately. Seriously. First the cupcakes. Then the bed. Oh, I haven't told you about that yet. The other day, I was window shopping online and saw this great deal on adjustable bed risers. Basically, they are these plastic thingys that you put under the legs of your bed to make it higher, enabling you to hide your mess under there. Perfect! I have lots of mess. I went to the store (I don't have the patience to wait for a shipment dontcha know), bought the things, and returned home to rise my bed. I get all four corners done and that was a JOB I tell ya. Then, I realize there is something definitely wrong with this picture. The bed is not flat. I look underneath it and see the problem. I have a king size bed with two twin frames underneath it! I need more risers! I am not in the mood to head back to the store so I un-rise the corners of my bed. Brilliant plans, lacking the brilliance I tell ya! Anywho, I did return to the store the next day, bought another set of risers and my bed is ~~risen~~ ~~rose~~ it's higher than it was dammit! I can hide all of my mess under there, which is exactly what I did. Straight up kid style. My room is CLEAN!

If I go missing in the next few days, don't panic. The husband is returning soon and we will be spending quality time catching up. I'll come back to blog about it though. Deal? No? You don't want to hear about that? FINE! See ya when I see ya...or write ya when I write ya. Ta-Ta!

The Relief Parent, Please

2008-10-26T07:48:00.000-07:00

I am so ready for that fabled relief parent to beat down my door and rescue me! It has been a long, long week, NO it's been a long, long month. This awful week has just been the icing on the horrible month.

Thursday, the toddler swallowed a marble. I have spent the last few days not-so-patiently awaiting the arrival of said marble to come out the other end. It did so this morning. Relief!

Friday, the toddler stepped on glass requiring a visit to the lovely ER at the (not so) Great Place. I spent 3 hours there to be told it's deep, it's small, we aren't going to try to remove it because she isn't going to sit still. Great!

Saturday, the unit had a Halloween party. I had stupidly volunteered to make cupcakes for it. I scoured the internet in search of the perfect little Halloween cupcake to make. I found one. It was green iced and had a gum drop eye and taffy tentacles. I was told they had to be individually wrapped. My energy level began dropping. I thought about it and cling wrap didn't sound like a good idea, the icing would stick to it. I decided in a moment of crafty brilliance that treat bags would be a great idea. I went to get the mix, the needed candies, and the treat bags. I found the treat bags right next to the cupcake cups that had the little toothpicks with pumpkins and spiders on them. Score! I am just going to ice the things, stick the toothpicks in, and shove them in the bags. I did dye the icing orange though. In theory, my treat bag idea worked great. The reality was a little different. It is nearly impossible to get a cupcake (already iced) into a bag without getting icing everywhere. DQ was helping me with them and listening to me mumble about time, needed showers, must do hair and makeup. I then had another moment of brilliance (stop laughing!). I decided to open the bag, roll it down, put the un-iced cupcake in it, hold the cupcake through the bag, ice it, then pull the bag up around it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to hold a cupcake through a plastic bag while trying to put icing on it? UGH!!! I aborted that idea and went back to carefully putting iced cupcakes in the bags which left me covered in icing to my elbow.

I finally finished and celebrated my triumph! I told DQ I was going upstairs to shower, fix my hair and put makeup on so I didn't scare the kids. This is how it went...

Me: I have to shower, fix my hair, and put on my makeup so I don't scare all the kids.
DQ: I see you every day without makeup and you don't scare me.
Me: That's because you are used to my ugliness and so it's not scary.
DQ: Mom, you aren't ugly! You're...you're...you're pretty.
Me: HA! You still have to watch your sister!
DQ: Ok, fine.

Off to the shower I went. Got myself ready, makeup, hair and all. I headed downstairs to tackle the task of getting the kids in costume. I had hell getting the stupid, annoying singer's wig on DQ's head. I finally got them both ready and we head out the door. Crap! Forgot my camera. Back inside I go. We got to the venue where a very nice lady offered her poor teenaged son's assistance because I was so obviously struggling with the big box of 24 individually wrapped cupcakes and a stroller full of toddler. The kids had fun. That is, until the toddler hit meltdown mode. She embarrassed the crap out of me. Laying on the floor pouting when she didn't get whatever she wanted. At one point, I had my camera in hand so I took a picture. She ended up getting mad at me, throwing a fit, kicking her stroller with my camera perched on top and it fell. Broken. My brand new camera that I waited for so long to buy is broken.

I loaded the kids up and we came home to get the box and service plan receipts and we headed to Best Buy. When I bought the camera you see, the salesman started trying to sell me the service plan. I was just about to say no thanks when he mentioned anything that happened to the camera they would either fix or replace. Even if water damage (as long as it wasn't submerged). I had a vision of the terror toddler and decided this was worth the money. Bingo! It already helped me out. They didn't have my camera in stock so it has been ordered. Upon it's arrival I will share pictures of the toddler on the floor prior to destroying the camera.

The husband will be home soon. Thank GOD! A little longer and I may have that nervous breakdown I keep threatening to have.

Oh My Gawd

2008-10-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

I have never in all of my mommy life (almost 8 years thank you) wanted to give away one of my children like I do today. Yesterday there was an unfortunate "incident" with DQ that required many, many hours of back breaking work on the part of I. I had to get in to the bedroom that DQ resides in to do some vacuuming, but I was too worn out to do most of it. (Sorry Michelle I fibbed a little, I only did the essentials last night, I was too embarrassed to tell you the story I am now telling the bloggyworld). Truth of the matter is, I was afraid to break a limb in that bedroom, in my state of single parenthood, that would have been very, very bad.

I set myself for the grim reality that, today, I simply must get in there and get it cleaned and vacuumed. I guess somewhere along the way I lost my fighter instincts with this child and I gave up on her cleaning her bedroom. Not a good thing. I just get sooooo beyond tired of constant battles, crying, screaming, whining, pouting that I would just rather ignore it all. Until it's too late that is.

Fortified with a half pot of coffee breakfast and a must-do attitude I headed into battle, toddler in tow. I started cleaning and the more I did the more pissed off I got. I seriously considered going to the school, checking her out, and making her do this nasty mess. Alas, I did it myself. Most of it anywho. Never. Again.

While cleaning her room, I found this little piece of puzzling plastic-y metal. I was completely perplexed. Had no idea what it used to be. I finally figured it out and decided it was photo time. I wasn't going to post the pictures of the mess, but I decided that at least some of you are mothers and would understand. I hoped anywho.

Piece of strange plastic-y metal

The other parts that belong to plastic-y metal piece. Aha!

I also found two of these (cable cords, I have no idea why).

This is the bag of trash that I collected on this quest. One piece of which, I took a picture of because I am still confused about why the little Dixie cups from the bathroom would be found stuffed underneath the dresser in her bedroom.

This is the pile of clothes DQ will be dealing with upon arrival from school. This is in addition to an entire hamper full that I already picked up. Entire. Hamper.

This is the TV in DQ's room. The one that no longer is connected to the cable outlet. The one that may be 50 years old before it is used again. Luckily for her, stacked on top of that TV is the library books from the school. They were found on the dresser and not in the pile on the floor. Otherwise, she would no longer be borrowing books from the library.

This, my friends, are the items that I now own. The coveted Nintendo DS, the treasured Hannah Montana (barf) plug in game, books that I purchased at the bookfair a couple of weeks ago (found buried under a pile of trash and clothes), various CDs (including Camp Rock, High School Musical), and several pens and pencils.

Oh and the toddler? She had a blast playing in this mess and she came away with a new toy.

Now, I am left with a bit of a dilemma. Her birthday is coming up very, very soon. The various items that she owns, she does not take care of. How horrible of a mother would I be if I cancelled any sort of birthday celebration? Maybe I should have the celebration and not allow any gifts? Or, even better in my opinion, let the well intentioned family members who want to purchase something with their hard earned money purchase gifts that I would like to have? No one would think anything of an 8 year old asking for a cruise, a few candles, a maid, some lotions, maybe a Ped Egg, or a massage, right?

Hazards of Stand-By Vacations

2008-10-21T12:37:00.001-07:00

My sister, the one I mentioned in my post about being green, went on her trip to Vegas. Me, being the green one, and the one addicted to blogging felt the need to share her story.

They got a really great deal on their airfare, causing them to have to fly stand-by. All went well on the trip there, but when it came time to come home, boy did they have trouble. Apparently the two of them and the 2o something other passengers looking to fly to Hotlanta from Vegas on stand-by had a little trouble. I started getting phone calls from the sister the night before departure asking me to look up their "flight" and see how many seats were available. I believe there were 3 at that time. Panic ensued. She wanted to get home to her kids. She needed to go to work. I checked a couple other flights and gave her the number of available seats on each.

The next morning, they headed to the airport to try to catch the 9am flight. It was overbooked by 4 seats. So they hung around to catch the 10:30am flight. Them and the 20 something other people waiting to fly stand-by, that is. It was a no go on that flight. Next flight, 12pm, same thing. Between each flight, I got exasperated calls asking to check the next for available seats. Their best bet as far as I could tell was the 4pm flight.

Now, they are flying from Hotlanta to a little bitty airport in the south that only has two flights a day. One flight left at 1:30pm from Hotlanta and the other at 8pm.

They FINALLY got on the 4pm flight from Vegas to Hotlanta. Problem? That flight didnt land in Hotlanta until 11pm. Meaning? They missed the last flight out from Hotlanta to Hole in the Wall. Once they realized that they were not going to make the last flight out (they were still in Vegas) they asked me to start looking for rental cars in Hotlanta. They thought they would just drive from Hotlanta to Hole in the Wall. There were no rental cars available. Her husband, apparently, thought I was stoopid so he decided to call rental car companies himself. No. Cars. Available. He briefly entertained the thought of catching the Amtrak from Hotlanta to Hole in the Wall. I then teased them about their Planes, Trains, and Automobiles vacation.

They decided they were stuck and so they got a hotel room in Hotlanta and caught the first flight out this morning...or actually this afternoon at 1:30. I am thoroughly amused and feeling a little responsible for this turn of events on their vacation. Could it be that my green self made their trip home the nightmare it was? I mean, they spent ALL DAY in the Vegas airport. Then they had to spend the night in Hotlanta and spend the morning in Hotlanta's airport (check out times and all).

My take on this is, she should have just came to the (not so) Great Place and seen her big sister. I am sure she would have made it home on time AND if she got stuck at the airport I could entertain her with my clever sense of humor. Dont ya think?

In the Words of a Hero

2008-10-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

This is a story circulating that some of you may have seen. I felt it was important to share to all my millions of viewers. It is a blog written by SPC Stephen Fortunato. The soldier spent 19 days on leave in his home town and returned to Afghanistan. His first patrol after his return, he was killed when the vehicle he was riding in was blown up by an IED. You can see the story here.

If I may …
I'd like to say something....Just to get it out there so it is clear.To all the pampered and protected Americans who feel it is their duty to inform me that I am not fighting for their freedom, and that i am a pawn in Bush's agenda of greed and oil acquisition: Noted, and [expletive deleted] You.
I am not a robot. i am not blind or ignorant to the state of the world or the implications of the "war on terrorism." i know that our leaders have made mistakes in the handling of a very sensitive situation, but do not for one second think that you can make me lose faith in what we, meaning America's sons, daughters, fathers, and mothers in uniform are doing.
I am doing my part in fighting a very real enemy of the United States, i.e. Taliban, Al Qaida, and various other radical sects of Islam that have declared war on our way of life. Unless you believe the events of 9/11 were the result of a government conspiracy, which by the way would make you a MORON, there is no reasonable argument you can make against there being a true and dangerous threat that needs to be dealt with. i don't care if there are corporations leaching off the war effort to make money, and i don't care if you don't think our freedom within America's borders is actually at stake. i just want to kill those who would harm my family and friends. it is that simple. Even if this is just a war for profit or to assert America's power, so what? Someone has to be on top and I want it to be us. There's nothing wrong with wishing prosperity for your side.
I am a proud American. i believe that my country allows me to live my life more or less however i want to, and believe me, i have seen what the alternative of that looks like. i also believe that our big scary government does way more than it has to to help complete [expletive deleted]-ups get back on their feet, a stark comparison to places where leaders just line their own pockets with gold while allowing the people who gave them their power and privilage to starve. I have chosen my corner. I back my country, and am proud to defend it against aggressors. Also, if you dare accuse us of being inhumane, or overly aggressive because we have rolled into someone else's country and blown some [expletive deleted] up and shot some people, let me remind you of just how inhumane we COULD be in defending ourselves. Let me remind you that we have a warhead that drops multiple bomblets from the stratosphere which upon impact, would turn all the sand in Iraq to glass, and reduce every living thing there to dust. Do we use it? No. Instead we use the most humane weapon ever devised: the American soldier. We send our bravest (and perhaps admitably craziest) men and women into enemy territory, into harms way, to root out those whom we are after and do our best to leave innocent lives unscathed.
...One last thing...a proposal. i know it has been stated time and time again but i just think it is worthy of reiteration. If you find yourself completely disgusted with the way America is being ran, and how we handle things on the global stage, you can leave. Isn't that amazing? No one will stop you! If you are an anarchist, there are places you can go where there is no government to tell you anything. That's right...you are left solely to your own devices and you can handle the men who show up at your door with AKs in any way that you see fit. Just don't try good old American debate tactics on them because you will most likely end up bound and blind-folded, to have your head chopped off on the internet so your parents can see it. However if you insist on staying here and taking advantage of privilages such as free speach and WIC, keep the counter-productive [expletive deleted] to a minimum while the grown ups figure out how to handle this god-awful mess in the middle east.

Band of Sisters

2008-10-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

There is a reason why I put off my trip to the library for so long. I knew that once I went to my happy place, there would be no stopping what happened next. I borrowed 8 books. I read one of them the day I got it.

I read for enjoyment. I read because I am lonely and bored and the constant blabbering of a toddler and a DQ bug the crap out of me. Along with my blog, reading helps me escape. I did some research and made a list. I wanted to be able to go in, find the books and get out before the toddler decided to show her true colors. While there I remembered a book that I wanted, which I am still unable to remember the name of, and that led me to many books about the Iraq war. I picked up a few of them. Band of Sisters is the book I read.

Band of Sisters is a collection of stories about women in combat. It is easy for me to identify with the women that are left on the homefront and to forget about those in combat. I often think about the fathers that leave behind families because I am one of those families. This book smacked me in the face with stories of mothers that leave their children behind to go and fight. Not all of the women in the book had children, but the ones that did...broke my heart. As much as I dislike being left to be a single parent, I am still with my children. I can't imagine being on a battlefield fighting, being able to concentrate on the mission, knowing that my children were on the other side of the world. Yes, I knew women were in the military. I just never stopped to consider them leaving behind their children. My biggest complaint about the book is that, at times, it got fairly technical about the specific jobs these women performed and I believe my eyes glazed over. I am more about the emotional or the action, not the technical boring stuff. Although, I must admit learning about different job functions can be interesting. You will have to decide for yourself!

Reading this book made me want to write a book. The story of the men overseas has been told, the story of the women overseas has been told, but the story of the family left behind hasn't been. Or so I thought. I am now reading a book of those stories. I believe I am becoming slightly obsessed with deployments. Wonder why? The train and all.

Hopefully, the next time I write I will have some hillarious story to tell. I guess until then, you are stuck with my reading skillz. Ta-ta!

My First Week All Alone

2008-10-18T06:40:00.000-07:00

Before the husband left to play GI Joe in the state that is going to fall into the ocean (that's what I have heard), I took a couple of hours to go to one of my happy places. The library. I borrowed a few, okay 4, books to get me through the time he was gone. Only problem is they didn't last too long. I love to read. Always have. I can spend hours reading. Hours and hours. I decided to share the books I read that first week. I am going to the library, kids in tow this time, today to get some new books. If you know of any great books, please comment and let me know.

Okay before I get to the list, I also wanted to explain my kind of book. I used to read romance, what I called my "dirty books". They totally ruined me. 'It' is NEVER like THAT. If 'it' is for you, please, don't share. Let me believe the authors only wrote those books to completely ruin me, mkay? After I got over the obsession with those books, I turned to Sandra Brown. She also writes romance, but there was much more than 'it' to her stories. I think I have read every book she has written. One day, while perusing a used book store back home, I ran across some Nicholas Sparks books. I loved the movie The Notebook and I believe I bought every book they had of his. I am glad. He is a PHENOMENAL author. Really.

THEN, I moved to the (not so) Great Place. They (the library) do not have any of his books. Not one. Ok, maybe one, but I have already read it! So I spent those couple of hours trying to come up with some books I wanted to read. I noticed that some of the books have little stickers on the spine proclaiming them to be on Oprah's Book Club. Now, if Oprah liked it, surely I will right? Here goes:

I actually fell in love with this author several years ago. I read her book My Sister's Keeper. Jodi Picoult has a knack for writing about controversial topics. This book was no exception. Beautiful. A testament to the sacrifices that a parent will make. In one sentence here is what it is about: A woman was raised by her widowed father all of her life, but was he really widowed?

Okay, so it was a question...it still counts. Because I say so. Read it. You won't be disappointed!

(I don't think you can really click on it...I borrowed this pic from another site, you see)

Remember the movie The Lake House? With Sandra Bullock? Okay, this is not the book the movie is made from. I decided to see if there was such a book, and came across this one. It is a good book. Truly. My only complaint about it was I didn't like the way the chapters were broken up. Okay, so maybe I have issues?

This book was really great. It had everything. Corrupt officials, filthy rich getting away with crimes, sex scandals, murder. A great read.

This is one of the books that proclaimed to be on Oprah's Book Club list. Great book, as well. Proved, at least to me, that lies will always come out. A very unfortunate fact for this wife, but it was a great book. It also proved that my investigative tactics and overall suspicious nature are good things. You just never know.

Last, was the other book from Oprah's Book Club list. This book touched my heart strings as a mother. Made me question what would I do in this situation? It only takes a second of poor judgement to change the course of your life and the structure of your family forever. I was also in shock towards the end, when everything came out. Great, great book!

Random Thoughts on a Friday Night

2008-10-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

I just have nothing special to talk about so I thought I would do some random thoughts. Before I begin....YES I am completely sober.

Texas sucks. Not just because its hot. I have a new reason to dislike Texas. I have this thing for the white cheese dip the mexican restaurants sell back home. I have been craving it like a pregnant woman (no, I am not) and I ordered some from a restaurant here tonight. To go. I got home and the freaking dip is YELLOW. That ain't right!

Our men and women in uniform fighting for our freedoms over in Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever they may be, should NOT have to pay to call their family. Some telephone company somewhere should give that service to them for FREE. If you think the military gets too many handouts or what have you, I am sorry, but you are WRONG. Anywho, if you, dear reader, happen to be a big exec at AT&T or whatever phone company, why don't ya look into that for me?

Kids should ALWAYS be in seatbelts and/or carseats. ALWAYS. To not have your child in a child restraint is stoooooopid. Yes, I am calling you STUPID.

This is the month to feel yourself up. Don't forget it. Get to it. I could tell you a really sad story of a woman who lost her life to breast cancer at the ripe old age of 36, but I won't. Or I did. Either way, early detection is important ladies. Feel 'em up!

If your husband is military, never, and I mean NEVER let him go to say NTC or any other place with his debit card to your joint account. You know, the one you use to feed your children and pay your bills? Just.Don't.Do.It.

Make sure you tell your loved ones you love them every time you can. You never know which time will be the last.

Mission: Abolish Kid-Plug

2008-10-16T11:17:00.001-07:00

Last night, at bed time, I could not find the toddler's binky. Anywhere. I searched downstairs, I searched her room, I searched DQ's room. It was gone. I finally decided she would have to go to bed without it. I put her in her bed, did the usual routine, and walked out with my fingers crossed and many silent prayers. I came downstairs, asked my buddy AA to pray for me, too.

I listened intently as the toddler moved around. She whined a little. She moved around some more. Then...all was silent. She went to sleep, no problem, without the binky that is always attached to her. Always.

I said a prayer before I went to bed, knowing that she would wake up in the middle of the night, and she didn't. She woke up this morning, never mentioned the thing. Not once. I was sitting her doing my usual websurfing and she climbed up in my lap about 30 minutes before naptime. I looked at her and smiled, then thought WHERE THE HELL DID SHE GET THAT THING??? Yes, she found it. It was in her mouth. I quickly took it, told her it was yucky and hid it. She went down for her nap without a fuss, and has yet to ask for it.

Is it really going to be this easy? Really? I am in shock. I am also excited that I will have no more frantic moments of searching high and low for the dreaded Binky! R.I.P. Binky. It's been a long, long time, but my baby is growing up and doesn't need you anymore! For your viewing pleasure I am going to show some pictures explaining her L.O.V.E. for that thing.

Toddler+Binky at lake

Toddler+Binky at fireworks

Toddler+Binky at home

Toddler two-timing the Binky

The Other Part of the Story

2008-10-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned briefly on a couple of occasions something that the Husband and I are going through. The personal thing? I have avoided blogging about it on purpose. I didn't want that business out there for the world to see. It weighs heavily on my mind though. I have decided it is time to share some of the story. If nothing else, maybe it will open someone out there in the same situations eyes a bit.

I have two stepchildren. I do not believe I have ever mentioned them on this blog for good reason. It breaks my heart to think of them. I love them with all of my heart, as I do my birth children. When my husband enlisted into the Army this year, we had to make a choice. Actually, there was no choice to be made. We attempted to get their mother (and I use that word loosely) to let us bring the children with us. She would have none of it. I know you mothers out there in bloggyland are thinking 'good for her'. Don't. All I can say without getting into some very personal stuff is this: it takes more than giving birth to make you a mother.

It is one thing to have children, to love them, to care for them, to make sure their needs are met. It is completely another to have children and do none of those things and top it off with not allowing the people that would offer those things to do so. Spite. It is a horrible thing. Image? It isn't all it's cracked up to be. As a mother, I can not imagine preventing my children from getting the things they need because 'someone may think I am a bad person'. We all make choices in life. We all make mistakes in life. Raising children is not an easy task. It is, however, something that will affect them the rest of their lives. Always. If you do a great job, it affects them in positive ways. If you do a horrible job, it affects them in negative ways. Either way, their entire life is affected by the choices you make as you raise them.

It takes a village to raise a child. Regardless of where that phrase came from, it truly does. A child needs all of the love, the wisdom, the affection that it can get. A parent needs the support. The more people a child has in their life that offers love, affection, stability, wisdom or any other positive interaction, the better. A very wise woman once told me that. Unfortunately, for some, the ability to be selfless is beyond them. This makes for poor parenting. Parenting is a selfless act.

These children are on my mind heavily. More so today than yesterday even. The longer I go without being able to speak to them, to touch them, to hold them, to show them love, the more concerned for them I become. I fully understand that being a parent is difficult. Mistakes will be made. The point is to learn from them, to not repeat the same mistake again and again. One day, maybe this will be learned? I, for one, hope it is not too late by the time that lesson is learned.

At this point, for right now, all I can do is hope. Hope that the relationship I had with them for the last 4 years is strong. Strong enough to impact and possibly counteract what is happening now. I hope that through this, they still know that I love them. I adore them. I miss them. I am doing everything in my power to regain the relationship. I am fighting for them. All of their family is. We are their family. It does not matter what they are told. They know.

Let The Shopping Begin

2008-10-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

I have finally unburied my head from the sand so to speak. I realized that oh.My.Gawsh. This month is halfway gone already and I have done nothing for Halloween. I mean, I bought a door cover banner thingy and its sitting in the package, waiting to be hung. I have looked at costumes, but not purchased any. I.Must.Get.Going. If I wait much longer, the kids will have their choice of dumb or dumber.

I head to everyone's favorite place, Walmart. They have NO costumes for the toddler. None. Nada. Zilch. I decide online shopping is calling my name. Now, I can't decide what should she be? I looked at many, many stores, narrowed it down to three, and email my favorite go to (my mother in law) and said HELP ME! Literally. That was the subject. I know her first thought was "oh gee, she's lost herself again", but I know she loved to see my ideas for the perfect thing for the toddler to go and collect me her some goodies in.

DQ? Oh, DQ. She has had her heart set on the costume of her idol. The idol that makes me want to pull my hair out when I hear her voice. Many moms have decided that this idol is unworthy of their precious brat's worship because she has a thing for bra/panties pic posting...not I. I couldn't care less about her half nude body all over the internet. DQ will never see those shots anywho. I care about hearing her voice. Her voice makes me want to slice my ear off and mail it to her! Seriously. DQ will be dawning her favorite idol costume that night. Shoot me now, please?

DQ also confronted me on my parenting skillz for that night. This is how it went down.

Me: (sitting on the potty attempting to potty in peace)

DQ: Mom, have you thought about how you are going to keep up with us on Halloween?

Me: Hmmm what do you mean 'keep up with you'?

DQ: You know, when we go trick or treating?

Me: Uhhh, DQ, you will be within my sight at all times as usual.

DQ: Well, what about when it gets dark?

Me: (We will be home, tucked safely in bed wayyyy before that. What about it?

DQ: I think we should get some of those glowing bracelets so that you can see us.

Me: Really? How would that help me to see you when they don't really light up the night or anything?

DQ: I really want one.

Me: You do,eh?

DQ: Yeah, and it will help you to see us.

Nice, eh? She is already planning how I should be taking care of them while they get my their treats.

Join the SITStahood

2008-10-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

This blog is a group dedicated to expanding you readership. They have featured bloggers every week and the point is to comment, comment, comment. After seeing your comments, some other awesome blogger may just comment on yours and who doesn't love to get the warm fuzzies? Today they are doing a blogathon and having prizes every hour! Go over and check it out! Thanks to AA who sent me on this quest and allowed me to spend even more time stalking blogs!

I am one of those people, you know, the ones that don't read the directions until they have messed something up? Anywho, now that I have read the rules, I must follow them! I read every post made by Amber, Michelle, and Brandy. I admit that I just found Maternal Mirth via another SITSta's blog (and I must go back to comment both as soon as I am done following the rules here), Cutie Booty Cakes. I clicked the link for Cutie Booty Cakes solely based on my obsession for all things edible, and was surprised to find it wasn't edible afterall. Well...you check it out and then you will know!

Short and Sweet

2008-10-13T18:43:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful visit with my Dad. We talked like we have never talked before. It was refreshing and brought closure to some things for me. The girls loved having him around. I am sure it had nothing to do with him taking them to Chuck E Cheese or Toys R Us. We don't get to spend enough time with him and it makes me sad to think that he misses out on months of them growing at a time. The last time he saw the kids was in January. Now, the Toddler is running around and getting in to everything and starting to talk. DQ has an even smarter mouth, too.

DQ could not let the weekend go without letting my Dad know that I was being a bad Mommy for the last week or so. She told him of the horrors of eating fast food or Kid Cuisines! How could she betray me like that? The worst part was when wanting to dispute that she has eaten fast or frozen food every day, I couldn't think of a single meal I had actually cooked! An hour later, driving down the road, I remembered...I made tacos the other night! HA! I do cook sometimes!

Dad headed back to his home away from home and we went costume shopping today. DQ got hers, but they had not one single costume for the toddler! Not one! I think I shall do some online shopping now.

Brief Interruption

2008-10-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

I have company coming in today. This is both exciting and scary. I am excited because there will be another adult in the house, but scared because the other adult is my Dad. I fear hours of staring into space, old black and white movies, and knots in my stomach. Oh boy, I need drugs. Can you imagine going to the doctor to ask for Valium or Xanax and explaining that your father is coming to visit? Wonder if that would work? Oh well, too late. If I am absent the rest of today and tomorrow, now you will know why.

Last night I came to the realization that I have neighbors that are spies. Seriously. Just the day before I had a conversation about food consumption and the possible loss of weight I am experiencing (which is not entirely a bad thing people, let's be honest). Last night? My neighbors come over with some yummy treats. This says to me, we are watching. We know you aren't eating. We will feed you. You don't see it? Hmmm. Maybe you should get a little evaluation? Why would they spy on little ol' me anywho? The thing I am building in the backyard is not a bomb I tell ya!

I survived my first day and night of the forced separation topped off with banned communication. I am not going to pretend that I had a yellow day or anything, but I am still here...still breathing. As I typed that, it reminded me of the kids in school. They have different colors to say how their behavior was? Whatever. Stop staring at me like I have completely lost my freaking mind!

Oh, and that project that I mentioned here? I worked on it some more yesterday. I am almost completely done with it. I have to have a zipper foot for my sewing machine. Whodathunk? I seriously contemplated velcro instead because I am so ready to get this finished up and sent on its way, but a zipper would work better on the thing I am making so....until the zipper foot...

My Yin

2008-10-10T06:10:00.000-07:00

Today, I am feeling sentimental. Maybe its the lack of bow chicka bow wow. Maybe its the lack of human contact with anyone taller than 4 foot? Maybe its lack of sleep? Maybe its the sudden onset of banned communication with the husband? Whatever the reason, I decided now was as good of a time as any to do a post about the husband.

I met the husband online in early 2004. At the time, I was going through a divorce and decided that hiding behind my computer and talking to strangers was a great outlet. So, I did. I signed me up for Yahoo! and started perusing the chatrooms. I found Military Chat, and decided it was my calling to stalk the men in uniform that needed the stalking. And even some that didn't. This, is also where I met my buddy AA. She had already snagged her a man in uniform and was not-so-patiently awaiting his return from a deployment.

You hear the horror stories of creeps on the internet, well, I have a few. I learned alot in that brief amount of time. I will never forget when I met him. Forging a relationship in this manner built a very strong foundation. There was no choice, but to communicate. We learned so much about one another. Afterall, there was only so many times I could show the man my boobies on the webcam. Eventually, I had to talk. After several months of chatting on the phone and computer, my wonderful man moved to be with me. Yes, the first time I saw his handsome face in person was the day that he moved in with me. It has been one hell of an amazing roller coaster ride for more than 4 years.

I miss him as if a piece of me is gone when he is away. I feel as though it is hard to breathe when only half of me is here. I know how cliche this is, but he completes me. He is the yin to my yang. The wind beneath my wings. Without further cliche crap, here is some stuff about my favorite soldier!

1. He's sitting in front of the TV: what is on the screen?Military Channel, The Unit, CSI, Heroes, Star Wars, porn (just kidding)

2. You're out to eat. What kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Thousand Island

3. What is one food he doesn't like? Crab. I am going to leave it at that.

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order? HA! He would order a Jim and Coke if he went.

5. Where did he go to high school? In Tennessee

6. What size shoe does he wear? 10?11? depends on the shoe.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Crabs. Again, leaving it alone.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Sweet onion chicken teriyaki. i think that is what he orders at Subway.

9. What would the Husband eat every day if he could? Lasagna. Baked macaroni (my specialty)

10. What is his favorite cereal?He loves Chex (isn't that gross?)

11. What would he never wear? Tights. Tightie whities. Recognize the theme here?

12. What is his favorite sports team? VOLS. or the Brazilian soccer team.

13. Who will he vote for? I plead the fifth.

14. Who is his best friend? Me, at least that's what he tells me when he wants something.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do? Ahh. See he hates it when I nag, when I turn psycho-bitch, when I hit him with frying pans...

16. How many states has he lived in?4 states, 3 countries if you count deployments..what? they live there dont they?

17. What is his heritage? err Irish? Some other stuff. White boy. Ask his mama not me!

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind? Uh he will eat anything. Seriously.

19. Did he play sports in high school? Yes football.

20. What could he spend hours doing?Drawing. Playing video games. Bow chicka bow wow. TMI?

The Rantings

2008-10-08T14:16:00.000-07:00

I don't have anything really thought provoking to say about the last couple of days. I live and I learn is the best thing that I can say. No matter how hard you try to pretend, everything eventually comes out.

I want to rant about the school that my child goes to. Again. The school is set up to be a school that the kids walk to. I mean, it is afterall, in the middle of the neighborhood. It only takes maybe 10 minutes to walk to there from my house. I walked in the afternoon once. I huffed and I puffed my way there all the while afraid that I was going to vomit all over myself and the stroller filled with toddler that I was shoving in front of me. I could not understand the reason for the struggle that afternoon. I walked her to school in the mornings. I had even walked her that morning. Why the struggle then? THE HEAT! It is so ridiculously, breathtakingly hot in Texas. Well, it was then. I decided never again. Never. In fact shortly after that afternoon, I took to driving her to and from school. Lazy! I think next week I will start walking again. At least in the mornings. Of course, I said that the last two weeks. Maybe the third one is the charm?

Ok, so I got sidetracked there. Let me get back to the rant part. I leave my house no later than ten minutes before school lets out. I drive the 2 minute drive to the school. There is always a line a mile long. Is every other parent of a child in this school as lazy as me? I believe so. I sit there for no less than thirty minutes every day. My child is the last to be picked up. Every day. I had taken to parking across the street, walking over to get her, walking back, and driving home, but then things happen and I stopped. Namely, I got blue and green and purple and all the yellow took off to Missouri apparently. So today, I had a date. I was in a hurry. I must get DQ, run to Hell for the makings of tacos, and get home within an hour. I left my house at 20 minutes before school got out to get my place in the front of the line of parents. I was determined people! Do you know what I saw as I topped the mini hill? THE LINE WAS ALREADY LONG. Seriously? Do you idiots sit there all freaking day waiting for the bell to ring? 20 minutes before the bell rings and there are already at least 20 cars in line. Unbelievable. Needless to say, I missed my date. There is no way to get from the school to Hell and back in 35 minutes; I did make it 40 though! HA! Take that losers that sit at the school all day waiting on your precious little brats to run through the door. This is not today's line, but this is the daily line at the school. Two deep even. UGH!

My next rant is one that is annoying on the lesser of annoying levels. Yeah, Dana, whatever that meant. I go to Hell for the makings of tacos. I need: ground beef, lettuce (they even sell it shredded in bags here so I am in Heaven), cheese, sour cream, and taco shells. I leave with $30 worth of crap (had to have the cookies, string cheese, Dew, cookies, chips, dip). I get to the registers and think I am so not tipping a bagger for this today. I am plenty capable of bagging and lugging this crap to my van. Actually, I didn't have cash. I hate when I do that. This means I must have 40 items or less to go through the self check out. I must have 40 items or less, but all of the other bozos that can't read? Well, they get to have as many items as they want. And then the stupid thing always has errors for weights and crap. Extremely frustrating.

And finally, fire ants suck! I still have that bite on my toe, maybe that is why I am feeling a little bitter (just so you know I typed litter instead of little at first). My sister told me to boil a pot of water and pour it on the ants and they would die. I did. They did. See?

All the dark spots that look a little like soil? Dead ants.

Boobies, Boobies, Boobies

2008-10-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

I know, I am going to bring in flocks of freaks, but I had to talk about something, right?

I have contemplated off and on having breast reduction surgery done. My boobies are too large (so what if the rest of me is too?) and they give me problems. They get in the way, they make my back hurt, I have permanent indentions where my bra straps sit on my shoulders, and I do believe that the pull of my boobies is causing the neck strain that is causing my migraines. I know, earlier I thought it was the lack of bow chicka bow wow, but now I think it is the boobies. Maybe a combination of the two? Anywho.

This internal battle has carried on for several years. I have this vision of what they would look like afterwards...and quite frankly I was scared. I think the vision may be a little whacked because as a young woman I saw the aftermath of a mastectomy and it may have scarred me for life. Maybe. So, today, being the neurotic me that I am, I googled breast reduction images. I started to share some of the images here, then decided against it because quite frankly, I don't know you people that well...the idea of you getting your jollies looking at my blog...it makes me nauseous. So google it yourself if you want to see, mkay?

I looked through the pictures and realized a couple of things. One is that my boobies are funky looking because they are so big. They are saggy not just because of the lack of bra wearing that I do, but because they are so big and heavy and gravity just does that to them. The second thing is, there is no way on earth I would post pics on the internet of my saggy boobies and then my surgically reduced boobies. I just can't. I am glad that those people did because I was able to see what they would most likely look like, but I will not be educating the internet world with images of my boobies.

There is a lot of discussion about the affects of reductions and I won't go into details, but the word desensitizing bothers me. It is scary to me to think that I could be cooking a meal and lean over the stove and the boobies would light up Mrs. Doubtfire style. Could that happen? Who knows. Am I willing to take that chance? I think NOT.

Guess I am stuck with the saggy, heavy, migraine inducing things. Now, I have shared something I have learned. Have fun with those images!

Army Wife Job Description

2008-10-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

Position

Wife, Spouse, Household 6, CinC, Dependent

Job Description

Lifetime commitment to being the always present half of a team. Must work well alone and be able to shift to team player within moments. Creativity, budgeting, and mechanical abilities a must. Some manual labor required. Must be technically savvy as this may be the only communication allowed for long periods of time. Must be willing to learn foreign language. Strong-willed candidates strongly discouraged. Ability to adapt well to change preferred, but not required.

Responsibilities

Will include, but are not limited to:

All household responsibilities (i.e. cleaning, cooking, laundry). Will sometimes be responsible for yard maintenance, finances, and all other "manly" jobs. Will take over the "manly" responsibilities with notice of 1hour to several months for varying lengths of time. Will read all books, take all classes and do all necessary research to learn the Army language. Will relocate anywhere in the world at the demand of others. Will sit by home phone, take cell phone and/or laptop every place that you go. Must be able to be reached at all times of the night or day. Must bake and/or buy many items and stand in line at post office to ship said items to anyplace in the world. Must attend all events from casual to formal while smiling pretty and not saying anything derogatory about anyone. Must spend most time waiting for second half of team.

Possibility for Advancement

None. There is a possibility of lateral transfer to Army Wife and Mother (also known as a Married Single Parent).

Compensation and Benefits

Compensation will depend upon years of sacrifice of other team player. There is no reward for above par work. Compensation may or may not be directly deposited into account on expected date of arrival. Compensation may also fluctuate depending on intellectual aptitude of bureaucrats in other locations. Free medical insurance is provided as long as the endless waits and red tape do not interfere with "the mission". Housing will also be provided as long as the nosy, loud neighbors, strict guidelines, bug infestation, poor maintenance, and older than dirt accommodations are taken.

Fringe Benefits

This position also offers unlimited personal growth, astronomical amounts of pride, feelings of self worth, and a large extended "family". Possibility of living in exotic places depending on "needs of the Army".

Rainy Monday

2008-10-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up to a miracle! Rain! It's truly a miracle!

Ok, really I woke up to the alarm clock at 6:30. I went and got DQ up and told her to get ready for school. I went back to bed. I just lay there dozing because I know that she will come into my room a minimum of 50 times. And guess what happened? Door opens and...

DQ: Mom, I don't think I have school today.
Me: (Thinking quickly, what day is it?) Yes DQ, you have school it is Monday.
DQ: No, Mom, it's raining.
Me: So?
DQ: The calendar says bad weather days we don't go to school.
ME: Huh? It's raining. Not a tornado, not ice, just rain. Go get ready for school.
DQ: I think I don't have school today.

She did go and get ready though. So I was up and decided it was time to start the coffee and get a move on. We head out the door to take her to school...

DQ: Mom, I really don't think I have school today. No one's lights are even on except that one.
Me: Get in the van you are going to school.
DQ: If I am the only one at school I am going to be mad.
Me: Like I care?

I start backing out of the carport and I see the Jeep in my mirror...the windows are down about 2 inches or so. I thought I was thinking it, but apparently I said outloud, "I am going to kill him." DQ asks who and I tell her and why. Why on earth would he leave the windows down like that KNOWING he won't be here to drive the thing?

Me: Look, there are kids walking to school (why in the world are they walking in the rain?).
DQ: Yeah, and there's one walking back.
Me: (Roll my eyes) Whatever. Get out of my car!!!

DQ is now safely at school in the "bad weather" and I am here surrounded by the toddler that is enjoying some Imagination Movers and some driving me crazy! She has climbed in and out of my lap a million times as I typed this, she has torn my bookmark to shreds, and is now about to unload the junk in the cabinet under the TV.

Yet again, it is going to be one of those days, eh? On a brighter note, check out this picture I took of the roses the husband bought me before he went to play GI Joe...

And the Lunatic Emerges

2008-10-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

I am going to start from the beginning. Not the beginning of time, just my day. I was woken promptly at 6:30am by DQ. She wanted to know could she read? Yes, that is one of the dire emergencies that I told you to wake me for. Good start, eh?

Let's move on to 7:00am where I am still comfy in bed. Guess who's up now? How'd you guess? The toddler. Wants breakfast. Now. Me, being the loving mother that I am, I first start the coffee. Yes, it is in fact a loving gesture. If I don't have coffee, it ain't pretty.

Sometime between 8:30am and 9:00am, I have ingested enough coffee to feel as though I can go on with my day. I begin cleaning. As mentioned previously, my father is coming. I am happy, but stressed because I can never live up to his immaculate OCD house. In doing this cleaning, I realize several things.
1) My kids are total effing slobs and I seriously contemplate hurting them.
2) My husband is lucky he was not here for the cleaning spree because his crap piled all over the house had me in quite the tizzy.
3) The Army is taking over my house. I do not care if they technically own the damn thing...it must stop NOW.
4) I am way to obsessed about blogging because as I was cleaning I was thinking of all of these clever remarks that I would make in my blog. All of which are long forgotten.

At 12:30pm I finally stop cleaning so that I can eat something. Ok, so I took a couple of smoke breaks in there, but who's really keeping track? At this time, I lay the toddler down for her nap and decide I am done cleaning for the day.

I spend the rest of the day scouring blogs. Oh. Yes. I. Did. Of course, there were constant interruptions. For example...

DQ: Mom, can we do something?
Me: I am doing something (I am reading blogs, duh).
DQ: No, I mean can we, like, play a game or something?
Me: Are you serious? Have you lost your mind? I am BUSY. Can't you see?

Or there is this one:
DQ: Why do I have to be grounded?
Me: You broke the rules (how the heck do I know specifically which one?)
DQ: What rules?
Me: You know what rule you broke. (You broke the rule about being a big pain in my ass)
DQ: But why am I still grounded? It's been almost a week.
Me: How long did I tell you you were grounded for?
DQ: A week.
Me: Has it been a week?
DQ: Almost. But I am boredddddddddddddddd.
Me: Then next time dont break the rules.

At this point, I am realizing that grounding her really punished me more than it does her. That, and I am realizing that I do way too much talking and reasoning with this child. I told her today (for some reason that escapes me at the moment) that I am going to the store and I am going to buy a big fat hook. I am going to screw this hook into the ceiling. When she annoys the crap out of me, I am going to tie her legs together with a chain and I am going to hang her from that hook. She laughed. I am seriously considering it.

And then there are the constant battles with the toddler. She has this thing about being in my lap all the time. Not always. Just when the husband is gone. Drives me crazy! She also has learned NO and she uses it whenever she pleases. And she has the worse effing high pitched, ear drum shattering scream that she uses when she doesn't get her way. It makes me want to rip her vocal cords out. Get this, this...its just too funny. DQ...she nicknamed the toddler today. She nicknamed her the Diva. Now I have the drama queen and the diva. How do you go about getting a gun in Texas?

I have had an ongoing battle with DQ...for, like, years. She is the most smart mouthed little snot ever. I want to smack the crap out of her on a daily basis. I have awesome self control...for a while. Once I lose self control, I don't smack her. I scream like a lunatic. Which is what happened this afternoon into this evening. I can not stand getting lip from her. I suppose it is some part of my father (scary stuff right there) coming out in me. I was not even allowed to ask "why" when growing up. This child of mine...she questions every damn thing I say. Examples...

DQ: Mom, can we have a snack?
Me: Yes. There are fruit snack thingys or there are graham cracker thingys.
DQ: I don't want those.
Me: Then no, you can't have a snack. (Back to blogs)
DQ: Why can't I have raisins?
Me: There is only one box and if you have raisins the toddler is going to chase you around and whine for them and I have to listen to it and I am not doing it.
DQ: What CAN I have?
Me: (Losing my cool) Fruit snacks or Graham crackers.
DQ: The graham crackers are stale they have been in there since last year.
Me: Bullshit! We just moved her in July and I bought them after that!
DQ: whine whine whine (I have tuned her out)

5 minutes later
DQ: Mom, can I have raisins?
Me: Didn't I already answer that?
DQ: No. You said there was only one box.

This exchange? This is what I deal with all day, every day. I am at my wit's end. I am already stressed. I am already green (and a touch of blue). NOW, I am feeling a little red and...what's the color for frustration? Purple? Purple sounds good to me. So I am green, blue, red and purple. And just so Amber knows....THERE AINT NO STINKING YELLOW OVER HERE WOMAN.

Then, the husband sends me a text saying he won't be able to call the toddler tonight at about 6pm. Every night at around 7:30pm she starts picking up my phone and saying Daddy. He has called the last several nights. So she starts her ritual and I decide to call Grammy. Maybe that will make her better. Nope. She won't talk to Grammy. She wants to go in the kitchen to watch the cat and dog fight. DQ is preventing this so the toddler is screaming. I am nearly in tears. Grammy suggests that we go for a ride...ya know change of scenery. I agree. I need cigarettes. So, I put on a bra and grab my purse. Get to the door and start looking for my keys. Can't. Find. Them. WHO'S FREAKING CHEERIOS DID I PISS IN THIS MORNING TO DESERVE THIS? Whatever. After a few minutes of freak out mode I think I'll just take the husband's keys. And I do.

Here is the best part of the 2 second change of scenery ride. I get to a red light. I have already told DQ to shut her pie hole I am not interested in hearing her voice tonight so it is quiet in my van. I look over to the left, where they have been doing roadwork since long before we got here and I think why on earth is the gravel over there a strange, glowing, light green color. I sit there a few moments looking at it before the obvious answer comes to me. The gravel is glowing green because it is reflecting the green light that the people in that direction have dumbass.

On the way back home, I realize I am being tailed by an MP. Fine except I was speeding a little...I was going downhill dammit. So then, I think...pfft If he pulls me over I am going to beg him to take me to jail. Please. Take. Me. You can call my husband's dork of a command and tell them that you had to lock his wife up in a padded cell and now he has to come home because boy oh boy shes LOST IT. Yes, this entire thing did run through my mind.

We get home. I immediately put the toddler in PJ's and tell DQ that once I take the toddler upstairs to bed, she is to go up there and I do not want to see her gorgeous face again for the remainder of the evening. Capeche? Yeah. That was 39 minutes ago and she's been down twice so far! Aye, Aye, Aye.

OH.DEAR.LORD. NOW, I get to listen to the *insert who knows what nationality* neighbors behind me listening to their *insert nationality* music LOUDLY.