Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Journey

I am learning as I go. I am feeling my way, blindly, through this thing called life. There are so many hills and valleys. Sometimes, I feel as though I am losing things. At those moments, I feel the losses so strongly that it can shake my entire being. It shakes me to my core. Those are the valleys.

As I make my way up the hill, I can feel the struggle within myself. It becomes so very difficult to put one foot in front of the other and continue up the hill. Once I reach the top, I look back down to the valley and realize how much I have gained. In those moments, I am eternally grateful to have made it through that valley. No matter what the valley encompassed, once I am at the top of the next hill, I am able to clearly see that although it may have been difficult, I did make it through.

Sometimes I feel as though my particular journey entails many, many more valleys than it does hills, but I know as I look back through everything I have ever done, everything I have ever been through, there are in fact just as many hills. In fact, at the top of many of those hills, there is a plateau.

A plateau where it doesn’t ache to breathe, my breathing isn’t labored. I am not stumbling and my legs don’t ache. I meander easily through those plateaus.

Sometimes, on the other side of the hills or plateaus, the way down is steep. Sometimes it gently slopes. Sometimes it is so very steep that I tumble down head first and before I know it, I am once again in the throes of a valley. At times, the way down can be slow and torturous forcing me to watch my step and pay close attention. I know, logically, that after the valley is the climb up the hill and sometimes? Sometimes, I just want to wallow in that valley. Too discouraged, too worn out to bother the climb. Alas, I know I must continue.

Continue on until the journey is completed. I do not always take the time to reflect on the valley that I’ve just come through. I take little piece of each valley and I carry on.

This is a time where I stop and look back and realize that I never would have made it through those valleys, up those hills, across those plateaus without the ones that I hold dear. I am not always good about stopping to thank those people. Even knowing, as well as I do, that this journey can end at any time and for any reason. This journey can be an extremely long one or it can be one that ends entirely too soon. I am thankful. Thankful for those that have at times held out a hand to steady me when I stumbled, for those that have encouraged me through the valleys, for those that have pushed and pulled me up the side of the hills, for those that stood beside me at the top, for those that have walked next to me across the plateaus, for those that have cushioned my fall into the valleys. This is my thank you. My thank you for those that are close in proximity, those that are hundreds of miles away, those that are thousands of miles away and those that have already ended their journey and are patiently awaiting the finish to mine.

May I always have you there to accompany me across my journey.

1 comment:

My Two Army Brats said...

Beautifully written!

I'll be glad when you're life finds normal again. Having them home is rough but not as rough as the deployment.

Good news is that when its over that whole thing seems like it went by fast....unbelievable huh?