Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sisterly Love

As annoyed as I was at the time, I had to share this moment because it made me smile. This morning DQ was in my room getting talked to about being disrespectful. She seems to think it is ok to stomp and pout about being told no. She isn't 2. She's almost 9!!

So, I talked to her about the behavior and she was being punished, and by punished of course I mean I was beating her. (Don't call the cops, the child wasn't really being beaten, though you would think she were by the toddler's reaction!) The toddler comes in and stands there with this scowl on her face. She has her little hands balled into fists at her side and she proclaims, "That! Is! My! Sister!".

As much as they fight and bully each other, at 2 she's already sticking up for her big sister. It was adorable! Now, they have both left me alone in my room so that they can conspire on how to kill their mother today so I am enjoying some peace and quiet! Any bets on how much time will pass before they are killing each other today?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Journey

I am learning as I go. I am feeling my way, blindly, through this thing called life. There are so many hills and valleys. Sometimes, I feel as though I am losing things. At those moments, I feel the losses so strongly that it can shake my entire being. It shakes me to my core. Those are the valleys.

As I make my way up the hill, I can feel the struggle within myself. It becomes so very difficult to put one foot in front of the other and continue up the hill. Once I reach the top, I look back down to the valley and realize how much I have gained. In those moments, I am eternally grateful to have made it through that valley. No matter what the valley encompassed, once I am at the top of the next hill, I am able to clearly see that although it may have been difficult, I did make it through.

Sometimes I feel as though my particular journey entails many, many more valleys than it does hills, but I know as I look back through everything I have ever done, everything I have ever been through, there are in fact just as many hills. In fact, at the top of many of those hills, there is a plateau.

A plateau where it doesn’t ache to breathe, my breathing isn’t labored. I am not stumbling and my legs don’t ache. I meander easily through those plateaus.

Sometimes, on the other side of the hills or plateaus, the way down is steep. Sometimes it gently slopes. Sometimes it is so very steep that I tumble down head first and before I know it, I am once again in the throes of a valley. At times, the way down can be slow and torturous forcing me to watch my step and pay close attention. I know, logically, that after the valley is the climb up the hill and sometimes? Sometimes, I just want to wallow in that valley. Too discouraged, too worn out to bother the climb. Alas, I know I must continue.

Continue on until the journey is completed. I do not always take the time to reflect on the valley that I’ve just come through. I take little piece of each valley and I carry on.

This is a time where I stop and look back and realize that I never would have made it through those valleys, up those hills, across those plateaus without the ones that I hold dear. I am not always good about stopping to thank those people. Even knowing, as well as I do, that this journey can end at any time and for any reason. This journey can be an extremely long one or it can be one that ends entirely too soon. I am thankful. Thankful for those that have at times held out a hand to steady me when I stumbled, for those that have encouraged me through the valleys, for those that have pushed and pulled me up the side of the hills, for those that stood beside me at the top, for those that have walked next to me across the plateaus, for those that have cushioned my fall into the valleys. This is my thank you. My thank you for those that are close in proximity, those that are hundreds of miles away, those that are thousands of miles away and those that have already ended their journey and are patiently awaiting the finish to mine.

May I always have you there to accompany me across my journey.

These Kids Will Be the Death of Me

Especially the toddler. I always talk about her though. it's because she's my favorite. Kidding! I kid! It's simply because she is the one that is up my butt 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I will start with DQ. She is doing very, very well in school. Her teacher says she has no problems with her and she is very helpful in the classroom. Which explains alot. You see, she uses up all her "goodness" at school. I get the leftovers. Which isn't much. She was extremely sweet to me on Thursday after my trip to the ER. Oh wait you don't really know about that...

SIDE NOTE: On Thursday, I was chatting with the husband through IM, I needed a potty break. I stood up and my ankle twisted and I heard a very loud pop and I fell to the floor. Excruciating pain and dirty words commenced. I started to feel like I was going to pass out (I do that when in extreme pain) and I tried my hardest to breath my way through it. The next thing I knew, I was face first on the floor with the toddler rubbing my back saying "It's okay, Mommy". The husband insisted that I go to the ER. I went. Wasted 4 hours of my life that I will never ever get back. I was tsk-tsked by the nurse because I drove myself and was there alone. I refrained from explaining to her that if the stupid Army hadn't sent my husband to play GI Joe in the middle of the desert I wouldn't be alone. Perhaps I will hire a caregiver next time? Perhaps the Army should provide me with a replacement husband while mine is away? Eh, I got sidetracked. My ankle is sprained. Life goes on. A life with two kids and one crippled adult.

So. Thursday evening, DQ was very helpful. Insisting that she help me get settled into bed before she went to bed. She got my foot all propped up and plugged in the laptop and my cell phone. The staples of an Army wife, or so I am told. Friday morning, she came in wondering what would I do without her there?! I explained that I would be just fine. I have to be careful about what I say because for all the hell that DQ puts me through, she is a worrier. (Gets it from her father!) She will worry herself sick. So off to school she went and I did indeed survive that day. She was helpful in the afternoon and tucked me into bed with an elevated foot again that evening. Then...well...it dwindled to just tucking me in and now? She says good night and heads off without a thought.

Is it normal for an almost 9 year old to fight constantly with a 2 year old? I mean...yes, the toddler is a BRAT. She has toddler issues of the "mine syndrome" and likes to annoy her sister in any way that she can, but DQ does the same things with her. It's like she figures turn about is fair play? I am losing my mind!

Yesterday, the toddler and I made a trip to hell the commissary for groceries. You see, the toddler has this idea that life is one big buffet. She eats constantly. She goes through 16 gogurts within a few days. She eats anything and everything in sight. We made the trip to the store and as I am putting away groceries she is digging through the bags looking for the goods. Seriously. Within an hour of being home, she had a capri sun (asked for a second), a lunchable, a gogurt and was bringing me Yogo bits. Honestly? It wasn't a meal time. It was snack time, but really? I've heard of teenage boys doing this, but a toddler? I fear that I will not be able to afford her grocery bill for long.

We have an extremely busy end of the week and weekend coming up. I decided to not spend so much time stuck in the house with the kids and...well...go big or go home, right? Tomorrow afternoon is some reading thing. Something about breaking a record and people reading the same book at the same time? Yeah. So there's that. Then Friday is the circus. Saturday, a Fall Festival. Sunday, a breather for me (other than the whole baking the husband banana nut bread in a jar). Monday, is a movie date (no school). Busy, busy! I may or may not survive this!

Do you have big plans for the weekend?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Pictures!!

I took a picture earlier this evening of something that I find highly disturbing and wanted to make fun of my life just that much more, so I wanted to share it with you all.

This is what I took pictures of:



In case anyone ever wondered if I lie to them about the crap I deal with from this toddler. You know what that is, right? It is apple peel. She helps herself to apples, takes a few bites, spits the skin from those few bites in the floor, and then drops the apple wherever her little heart desires. Bless her little heart! (cue straightjackets)

As I uploaded the apple peel pictures, I stumbled across these other pictures. After leave, I drug a friend out to the recreation area near post. We went camping. For one night. Me, her, my two kids and her two kids. Fun was had by all. So although I am certain she is going to kill me, I am posting pics for all to adore. Truth is, her killing me isn't so scary after 8 months of deployment!!!!
The two big kids, playing DS. They camp in style ya know!
The baby. She's so awesome!
The toddler stole the baby's bear. Imagine that.
The friend and the baby. Hey, I posted the after make-up pic so be happy :)
P.S. This post may or may not have been written under the influence of pills from my horrible sprained ankle. Yup. I managed to cripple myself while being the only adult in the house. I rock!!!