Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What's It Really Like?

Some people never have the opportunity to experience the things that a military wife does. Some of the things that a military wife experiences I wouldn't wish upon my worst of enemies, some of the things I pity those that don't get the opportunity. Let's talk about the worst things. Just because that's how I roll. Before I do, though, let me first explain that I realize that some of our soldiers have it much worse than those left behind. This should never be a game of who has it worse, but sometimes, just sometimes, a soldier has too much sand in his brain to realize what is going on back home. Let's begin.

A spouse that is left behind is forced to take on additional responsibilities, coupled with the added stress of worrying about her soldier, the fact that there is never a moment alone, and of course the fact that there is no boom boom in the boom boom room.

Although some may think it is a piece of cake to juggle all of these things, I invite you to take my position at any time. I give it one week. Max.

I would LOVE to watch you mow the grass without looking at where you are pushing the mower because you are watching a child whom at any moment will run into the street because you are busy and can't yell loud enough for them to hear over the motor. I would love to see how you handle using the restroom with the company of a child at all times. I would love to see you manage a shopping trip with children in tow and make it out of the store with all of the items that you intended and all children accounted for. I would love to see you be able to clean the house with children "helping" and with them constantly making yet another mess for you to clean. I would love to see you take the vehicle to get maintenance done, where you pay double what you should because you are taken advantage of, while your child runs around destroying the waiting area. I would love to see you be able to keep up with all important dates, all events, and any appointments on 3 hours of sleep a night. I would love to see you be the cheerleader that keeps the spirits of a soldier up on his darkest of days.

You see, I don't have someone that cooks me 3 meals a day. I have to keep children, whom know no better, alive. I don't have someone that does my laundry. I don't have someone sending me packages of my favorite snacks. I don't have the ability to watch what I want to on tv or play a game without interruption. I don't have the luxury of peeing or showering without the company of a child. I don't have the ability to run to the store to browse for a bit alone or even run in and grab an item quickly. I don't have the ability to spend time with other adults talking about adult things without constant interruption of a child. I am not only responsible for myself, but also for the children that are left behind, the house that is left behind, and attempting to maintain some sort of semblance of a relationship.

I do, however, see my children every day. I tuck them into bed every night. I am not (usually) concerned that any loud noise I hear is a bomb or gunshot of some sort. I am sleeping in the comfort and relative safety of my own bed. I do get to experience those first kisses over and over again. I get to fall in love with my soldier for who he is all over again. Our connection is deepened because all that is left is to talk. I get to anticipate his arrival and the thrill of seeing him for the first time in months. I get to relish in the honeymoon stage more than once.

The grass is always greener...

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Too Close for Comfort

The events that occurred today, Thursday, November 5, 2009 blew me away completely. I never would have expected to hear that a soldier walked into a building full of other soldiers, on an Army post, and opened fire in this manner. The facts are still forthcoming of course, but what I do know is that for a while today, memories of September 11th were brought to the forefront of my mind.

DQ happened to be out of school early today. After she arrived, I was preparing to walk out the door to go to the store and run a couple of other errands. My sister happened to call at that time. That phone call may have saved my life. Seriously. I very well could have been in that very area, at that very time. It has bothered me all afternoon. I believe, more today than days before even, everything happens for a reason.

The reports given throughout the afternoon were conflicting and confusing. I think at this point there are still many questions left unanswered. What I do know is that there are many soldiers that lost their lives at the hand of another soldier and even more injured. The reasons why really don't even matter. All that matters is that lives were lost and lives were forever changed. I am forever changed. The way I look at my surroundings has changed.

Please keep all of the families and soldiers in your thoughts and prayers. I will have more to say in the next few days I am sure.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sisterly Love

As annoyed as I was at the time, I had to share this moment because it made me smile. This morning DQ was in my room getting talked to about being disrespectful. She seems to think it is ok to stomp and pout about being told no. She isn't 2. She's almost 9!!

So, I talked to her about the behavior and she was being punished, and by punished of course I mean I was beating her. (Don't call the cops, the child wasn't really being beaten, though you would think she were by the toddler's reaction!) The toddler comes in and stands there with this scowl on her face. She has her little hands balled into fists at her side and she proclaims, "That! Is! My! Sister!".

As much as they fight and bully each other, at 2 she's already sticking up for her big sister. It was adorable! Now, they have both left me alone in my room so that they can conspire on how to kill their mother today so I am enjoying some peace and quiet! Any bets on how much time will pass before they are killing each other today?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Journey

I am learning as I go. I am feeling my way, blindly, through this thing called life. There are so many hills and valleys. Sometimes, I feel as though I am losing things. At those moments, I feel the losses so strongly that it can shake my entire being. It shakes me to my core. Those are the valleys.

As I make my way up the hill, I can feel the struggle within myself. It becomes so very difficult to put one foot in front of the other and continue up the hill. Once I reach the top, I look back down to the valley and realize how much I have gained. In those moments, I am eternally grateful to have made it through that valley. No matter what the valley encompassed, once I am at the top of the next hill, I am able to clearly see that although it may have been difficult, I did make it through.

Sometimes I feel as though my particular journey entails many, many more valleys than it does hills, but I know as I look back through everything I have ever done, everything I have ever been through, there are in fact just as many hills. In fact, at the top of many of those hills, there is a plateau.

A plateau where it doesn’t ache to breathe, my breathing isn’t labored. I am not stumbling and my legs don’t ache. I meander easily through those plateaus.

Sometimes, on the other side of the hills or plateaus, the way down is steep. Sometimes it gently slopes. Sometimes it is so very steep that I tumble down head first and before I know it, I am once again in the throes of a valley. At times, the way down can be slow and torturous forcing me to watch my step and pay close attention. I know, logically, that after the valley is the climb up the hill and sometimes? Sometimes, I just want to wallow in that valley. Too discouraged, too worn out to bother the climb. Alas, I know I must continue.

Continue on until the journey is completed. I do not always take the time to reflect on the valley that I’ve just come through. I take little piece of each valley and I carry on.

This is a time where I stop and look back and realize that I never would have made it through those valleys, up those hills, across those plateaus without the ones that I hold dear. I am not always good about stopping to thank those people. Even knowing, as well as I do, that this journey can end at any time and for any reason. This journey can be an extremely long one or it can be one that ends entirely too soon. I am thankful. Thankful for those that have at times held out a hand to steady me when I stumbled, for those that have encouraged me through the valleys, for those that have pushed and pulled me up the side of the hills, for those that stood beside me at the top, for those that have walked next to me across the plateaus, for those that have cushioned my fall into the valleys. This is my thank you. My thank you for those that are close in proximity, those that are hundreds of miles away, those that are thousands of miles away and those that have already ended their journey and are patiently awaiting the finish to mine.

May I always have you there to accompany me across my journey.

These Kids Will Be the Death of Me

Especially the toddler. I always talk about her though. it's because she's my favorite. Kidding! I kid! It's simply because she is the one that is up my butt 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I will start with DQ. She is doing very, very well in school. Her teacher says she has no problems with her and she is very helpful in the classroom. Which explains alot. You see, she uses up all her "goodness" at school. I get the leftovers. Which isn't much. She was extremely sweet to me on Thursday after my trip to the ER. Oh wait you don't really know about that...

SIDE NOTE: On Thursday, I was chatting with the husband through IM, I needed a potty break. I stood up and my ankle twisted and I heard a very loud pop and I fell to the floor. Excruciating pain and dirty words commenced. I started to feel like I was going to pass out (I do that when in extreme pain) and I tried my hardest to breath my way through it. The next thing I knew, I was face first on the floor with the toddler rubbing my back saying "It's okay, Mommy". The husband insisted that I go to the ER. I went. Wasted 4 hours of my life that I will never ever get back. I was tsk-tsked by the nurse because I drove myself and was there alone. I refrained from explaining to her that if the stupid Army hadn't sent my husband to play GI Joe in the middle of the desert I wouldn't be alone. Perhaps I will hire a caregiver next time? Perhaps the Army should provide me with a replacement husband while mine is away? Eh, I got sidetracked. My ankle is sprained. Life goes on. A life with two kids and one crippled adult.

So. Thursday evening, DQ was very helpful. Insisting that she help me get settled into bed before she went to bed. She got my foot all propped up and plugged in the laptop and my cell phone. The staples of an Army wife, or so I am told. Friday morning, she came in wondering what would I do without her there?! I explained that I would be just fine. I have to be careful about what I say because for all the hell that DQ puts me through, she is a worrier. (Gets it from her father!) She will worry herself sick. So off to school she went and I did indeed survive that day. She was helpful in the afternoon and tucked me into bed with an elevated foot again that evening. Then...well...it dwindled to just tucking me in and now? She says good night and heads off without a thought.

Is it normal for an almost 9 year old to fight constantly with a 2 year old? I mean...yes, the toddler is a BRAT. She has toddler issues of the "mine syndrome" and likes to annoy her sister in any way that she can, but DQ does the same things with her. It's like she figures turn about is fair play? I am losing my mind!

Yesterday, the toddler and I made a trip to hell the commissary for groceries. You see, the toddler has this idea that life is one big buffet. She eats constantly. She goes through 16 gogurts within a few days. She eats anything and everything in sight. We made the trip to the store and as I am putting away groceries she is digging through the bags looking for the goods. Seriously. Within an hour of being home, she had a capri sun (asked for a second), a lunchable, a gogurt and was bringing me Yogo bits. Honestly? It wasn't a meal time. It was snack time, but really? I've heard of teenage boys doing this, but a toddler? I fear that I will not be able to afford her grocery bill for long.

We have an extremely busy end of the week and weekend coming up. I decided to not spend so much time stuck in the house with the kids and...well...go big or go home, right? Tomorrow afternoon is some reading thing. Something about breaking a record and people reading the same book at the same time? Yeah. So there's that. Then Friday is the circus. Saturday, a Fall Festival. Sunday, a breather for me (other than the whole baking the husband banana nut bread in a jar). Monday, is a movie date (no school). Busy, busy! I may or may not survive this!

Do you have big plans for the weekend?

Monday, October 5, 2009


I took a picture earlier this evening of something that I find highly disturbing and wanted to make fun of my life just that much more, so I wanted to share it with you all.

This is what I took pictures of:

In case anyone ever wondered if I lie to them about the crap I deal with from this toddler. You know what that is, right? It is apple peel. She helps herself to apples, takes a few bites, spits the skin from those few bites in the floor, and then drops the apple wherever her little heart desires. Bless her little heart! (cue straightjackets)

As I uploaded the apple peel pictures, I stumbled across these other pictures. After leave, I drug a friend out to the recreation area near post. We went camping. For one night. Me, her, my two kids and her two kids. Fun was had by all. So although I am certain she is going to kill me, I am posting pics for all to adore. Truth is, her killing me isn't so scary after 8 months of deployment!!!!
The two big kids, playing DS. They camp in style ya know!
The baby. She's so awesome!
The toddler stole the baby's bear. Imagine that.
The friend and the baby. Hey, I posted the after make-up pic so be happy :)
P.S. This post may or may not have been written under the influence of pills from my horrible sprained ankle. Yup. I managed to cripple myself while being the only adult in the house. I rock!!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Trivia Queen, That's Me

This evening while eating the girls and I were watching Cash Cab. I needed a break from constant Dora, Diego and Backyardigans. Cash Cab is a trivia show of sorts. I like to be shown how stupid I really am.

Question: What is a word used to describe military members and is also slang for not wearing underwear? (Paraphrased because I really couldn't tell you the exact wording, but that is the gist of it.) Before you read further...do YOU know the answer? Liar!

Me: (Giggling hysterically because the first and only word that came to mind was freeballing and I couldn't figure out the military connection)

DQ: Mom? What's so funny? What's the answer?

Me: (stops giggling, light bulb finally comes on) COMMANDO.

DQ: (puzzled expression) What's so funny?

Me: Shhhh I can't hear the questions!!!! (feeling like a total perv)

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Toddler Has Issues

The best way to enjoy Yogo bits...especially the purple ones.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Children's Book FAIL

Today, DQ brought home the flyer for the first school book fair of the year. Already. School has been in session one week and two days. So, like a great little parent, I was glancing quickly through the flyer before trashing it and stumbled across this little gem...

Now. I realize that my husband is deployed. I realize that I tend to see things a little differently than others. BUT. WHAT?! Do you all see what I see? And the title of the book? Seriously?

Maybe I am just even more messed up than I thought.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

It's a Nose Not A Cabinet

Is it normal for 2 year olds to try to stick everything up their noses? I'm not talking about fingers here, I am talking everything. Beads, markers, everything. Today during lunch the toddler came over and was digging in her nose and acting all strange. I have experience with trying to get various items out of her nose and I realized that she had yet again stuffed something in there. When I asked her what she put up her nose, she point to her sandwich. She was able to blow it out and sure enough she had stuffed a piece of her PB&J sandwich up her nose. Why?????? What is wrong with her?

She also managed to get her little hands on my cell phone once again. This is a normal occurence. She has texted many of my friends with different smiley faces and such, but today it was different. I was outside and she brought me my phone and told me that her Daddy was talking to her. Since I knew that 1) he is in Iraq and 2) I was on the computer with him, I told her no her Daddy wasn't talking to her. Then I heard a faint male voice. Ummm? It was my little brother. She called him up and said HI! Whatcha doin'? He was a little confused and talked to her and then heard her telling me it was her Daddy. He found it hilarious that at 2 she is able to use my phone so well. My thing is that this phone has a keypad lock on it. She knows how to UNLOCK THE KEYS and use my phone. She has set alarms on it too. For crazy tasks like mmmmmmmmmmmmmmlllllllllllllllllppppppppppppp. Yup. She's brilliant.

Where is the Calgon?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Always Playing Catch Up

I don't understand what my deal with this blog is lately. I really thought I would lean heavily on this as an outlet during the deployment, but it hasn't happened that way. I can't even explain it. I can't say that it's because I have been busy because...well....I haven't. I will put forth more effort or something.

*****Wait I just figured out what the deal is, maybe. I started this blog to be cool and to keep family far, far away in the loop. The only family that reads it even is Mom and well...I talk to her so often that I feel like to write down things would be pointless. I then thought that it would be a good way to keep the husband in the loop and well...he doesn't read it. It's not like I have readers that are begging me to entertain them...because I am sure that anyone that doesn't love me ran off at the beginning of the deployment when crazy completely took over. So what is the point?****

An important update: my Grandma is fine. Whatever the doctors saw that caused them to turn our entire family upside down ended up being nothing. There is a small something that she will undergo further testing on, but if it is the C word, it is very early on and very treatable. That was a blessing!

I guess I will go ahead and continue with updates just in case there are any lurkers that are unaware....

All was right with my world for 16 days. 16 days of bliss. This is why:

Yup. It took a million days for him to make it, but he made it. We spent some great time together and he was able to talk to his family and his children (whom weren't allowed to be here for leave but I wont even go into that). We took a short little trip to the San Antonio area where we hung out at Schlitterbahn for a day and SeaWorld for a day. Huge thanks to SeaWorld and their Here's to the Heroes program. We made an overnight trip to Texarkana, AR. Solely because it is a city built in two states. I mean who wouldn't want to drive more than 5 hours to see that? Ok. So we really went there to pick up DQ from her summer with her father.

Better than any of the trips was having him home to feed, to watch tv with, to look at, to talk to...you get the point. It was too short of a time and he has left again, but we are over the hump and it's a countdown to a more permanent homecoming now. The kids and I are settling back into a routine with school starting and dealing with his departure rather well I think. The toddler hasn't said "I want my Daddy" yet today and that is MAJOR progress.

I intend to make more of an effort to come here and fill pages with funny stories. Oh boy do I have them. Enough of this catching up nonsense. See ya soon bloggyworld!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Empty Promises....

I promised to blog in more detail about my trip to Misery and never did. I don't even know what to tell the bloggyworld about the trip. I told you that I decided at the last minute to go, which I did. It was supposed to be a week long trip. It ended up being almost 3 weeks! (WHOA!) I just looked at the calendar...ladies did you realize I was there that long? Anyway...we did lots of shopping. I got THE DRESS that I am wearing to pick up the Husband from the airport (more on that later). I bought so much stuff that I thought I would have to leave the toddler in Misery to get it all home. Amber didn't seem thrilled with this thought.

I bought a fishing license and a fishing pole. A really cool pole that made Michelle jealous. MY pole came with a little bag and a little tacklebox of sorts. It comes apart in three or four sections and fits into its own little bag. Too bad that I can't get the ridiculous thing apart! We fished several times. We fished at night. In the dark. Returning home at midnight. Good times! On the trip returning home at midnight, I got a message from the Husband wondering just where I could be at that hour. The response of fishing was laughed at.

We did alot of preparing for homecoming, as I mentioned before. Since I had never experienced an Army homecoming like this, I was thrilled to experience it not once, but twice. I remember being a kid and waiting at the pier for my father's ship to pull in. This is nothing like that. Maybe because I am an adult that is married to a soldier that is far away playing in the sand or...who knows why. It was a wonderful experience that I am so thrilled I was able to have. Thanks to the Misery girls for inviting me to visit and forcing me to stay! I met their husbands and was able to put a face with all of the great stories I have about them.

I have, of course, returned home. DQ has not yet returned from her summer with her father so it it just the Toddler and I. I got news almost a week ago that my husband would be home for his R&R at the beginning of August. I can not begin to explain how completely ecstatic I am about this. I also am having all kinds of other crazy emotions. I am nervous. I am almost even scared. This man I married, he's been gone for far too long. How much has he changed? How much have I? I am so afraid that it will be like two strangers meeting for the first time. I sure hope not. I have asked a friend about this and learned that she never had these concerns...am I the only one ever? I also worry about after he leaves again. I don't want to be the person that I was back in February and March. So many emotions so little time.

And lastly...my family has received some bad news in the last week as well. My grandmother, whom is 75, has been diagnosed told that she has many lesions, tumors, spots consistent with a very aggressive cancer. I can't technically say diagnosed until after she sees the oncologist, I suppose, but the doctors are pretty certain. The prognosis seems grim considering and I ask that you keep my Grandmother and the rest of my family in your thoughts as we all come to terms with this.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

To the Unknown Driver of the Blue Car

Dear driver:

I saw you driving down I35 south, just south of Oklahoma City at about 4:45 this afternoon. I wanted to say a HUGE thanks to you. It seems that you and I have a pet peeve in common; those that choose to wait until the very last second to merge when their lane ends. I was a couple of cars behind you when I saw you get into the left lane, the lane that ended in less than two miles, the lane that had people zooming by only to cause a huge bottleneck at the end. At first, I must admit, I thought to myself, what a freaking jackass! But THEN!!!! Then, you slowed down and stopped all those people zooming by. I did see the one guy that passed you in the emergency lane. I am glad you then decided to straddle the lanes so that no one else got passed.

It gave me quite the laugh when people behind you were honking and cursing and even working their way across traffic to get two lanes over and stop and flip you off. It made me giggle. Perhaps they should learn that waiting until the.last.second only makes traffic much, much worse.

Thanks for making that traffic a little more entertaining and a lot more bearable for those few minutes. It made my day in this horrible trip home.

Monday, July 6, 2009


Just a really fast update....

I am still in Missouri. I like it here. There are crazy people like me here. I fit in.

My wonderful friends here invited (or forced a little) me to stay and attend THE homecoming ceremony. Their families are now whole again and I am so glad to have been a part of it.

I am heading home tomorrow, so beware middle of nowhere Oklahoma!!

I will post the craziness and the millions of pics soon!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

What am I? A Truck Driver?

Over the last several, like 6, years I have made some good friends on the internet. I met my best friend and husband online. Yes, I did. Don't look so surprised! I also met a woman whose husband was in the Marine Corps and was deployed. She and I became great friends during that deployment. He returned safely and they continued on with their lives. She and I have always kept in touch, regardless of how long we did go between speaking, we were always able to catch each other up and continue on in our friendship. She was there with me through my divorce, when I met my husband, when he enlisted again, when we were preparing for our first deployment, and throughout this horrible roller coaster of a deployment. She introduced me to her and her that are friends in Missouri, via the internet of course, and I have blogged about our silly and hilarious time spent chatting online before. Through all of this, we never met in person.

After my long vacation in Tennessee, coming back to an empty house with DQ gone was sad for me. My great friends in Misery kept telling me that I should come and see them. I kept thinking about how long that drive is and saying no way. I was finally convinced a week ago to just go. Thanks, Mom! I am really not a last minute, jump in the car kinda girl, but last Thursday, I did just that. I decided about mid morning that I would pack up and make a trip to Misery to see these girls. They are on the very last leg of a very, very long deployment. I believe their husbands have been gone somewhere around 14 months. I have been able to spend a week soaking up the excitement of preparing for the soldiers to return from Iraq. I have glued and cut and traced along side these girls for days making welcome home signs for close to 200 soldiers. I have loved every minute of it. It has been just what I needed as I reach almost halfway through this deployment.

It has been refreshing to see these strong women who have made it through a much longer deployment than my own. Their excitement for the homecoming of their soldiers is contagious. I am thrilled for them. They have taken me in, even though I could have easily been a murderer, thanks Alex. Even though they have so much going on in their lives right now that it makes my head spin. They have introduced me to a few other wives, too. They have made me feel as though it is possible to get through this year with my sanity as in tact as it was before the year started. I can't just say in tact because we all know that it was never completely in tact.

I will post more about this adventure in Misery soon, but I had to at least get out there that Amber, Michelle, Brandy, Bre, and even Alex whom I just met, have given me the boost that I needed to get through this deployment. They also taught me that I should start homecoming preparations very early or I will be completely insane by the time the Husband actually returns. Oh, and that anything said around a bunch of women who have been without their husbands for a very long time can be turned into something dirty. Always.

Thanks ladies! This week has meant more to me than you could every know. I promise to invite you down to Texas to make signs and stuff when it's my turn!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Where Has the Time Gone?

I just looked at my blog and am dumbfounded that I haven't posted since April 1st...and even that was some sort of weird subliminal message type thing. What can I say? I was having a rough day? I have no idea why I haven't blogged or commented on the blogs I read. I do read them. Sometimes it takes me a while to get to them though. Come to think of it, that's probably why I don't comment. If I comment on a post written two weeks ago I look a little slow. You see?

Anyway. Not much has changed. Still on this sucky deployment roller coaster. I have (finally) moved beyond the overwhelming need to sit at the computer and never leave my house because I must wait at all times for the Husband to appear. I still try to be around at times that he is likely to be around, but it is not the same overwhelming need as it was in the beginning. I still miss him like crazy and still can't wait for his return, but I am functioning again.

I took a 3 week vacation recently. I spent 5 days with my family in Mississippi and a couple of weeks with the Husband's family. And yes, Mom, I know you guys are my family too. I had to go to attempt to take care of some of the mess that is going on with the kiddos. I will just say it didn't go well. Trial in the future. I did have a great visit though and I was able to spend some time with the kids. I am not fooled into thinking that it is because anything has changed. I am fully aware that it was because "she" wanted the things I was buying them, but regardless, I spent time with them.

On the way back to Texas from Tennessee, I dropped of DQ for the summer with her dad. I am always sad about this. He is quick to remind me that I see her way more than he does and blah blah blah, BUT I have the school year. Not the fun times. Whatever. I miss my DQ and all her dramatics.

That is pretty much all that I have been up to the last couple of months. It has been a crazy time, but not crazy as in someone come check on me like it was in say February and March. I am sure I have funny stories locked somewhere in my brain to be shared later. Right now, I just needed to catch everyone up!

So how are all of you? Will anyone even read this anymore? I mean after two months...who knows?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

One More Day

One More Day Diamond Rio

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didnt ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you


One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then againI know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
Thats what I'd do, with one more day with you


One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then againI know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you


One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then againI know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you


Sunday, March 29, 2009

My Weekends

You see, the girls that I play Mario Kart online with...ya know, the ones in Misery Missouri? Well, on the weekends they become too busy for me. Usually, I just pout in my little house in the Hood, but this weekend I decided it was time to stick up for myself. So I whined a little and got ignored alot. Then, oh boy and then I decided to get some revenge. And make myself look like a total nutcase in front of Michelle's sister who I am positive is wondering why in the hell her sister speaks to me at all. Even if I am only good enough during the week. Here is the beautiful IM conversation that occured this evening. Enjoy.

Just to help you out, Psychostalker is me. I changed my name to further make myself seem looney to Michelle's sister. The places where it says I (or Michelle) say something but it's blank? That would be the emoticon (or smilies) that we used. They don't copy/paste into blogger well apparently. That is all. Carry on.

Psychostalker says:
liar liar pants on fire
you're so funny
amber is here now
you werent the only one messaging me btw
Psychostalker says:
whatd i do thats so funny
liar liar pants
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
you said mk
Psychostalker says:
3 ppl cant mk from same house turd
Psychostalker says:
tyvm amber for pointing out that i am YET AGAIN left out =))
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
oh but when amber leaves we're playing mk
Psychostalker says:
rightttttttt well im sure ill be asleep LONG bfore that
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
so you gonna come to OK next weekend?
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
i knew you wouldnt punk
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
play your stupid rockband
Psychostalker says:
it makes your tits bigger is what i read
Psychostalker says:
good luck with that
Psychostalker says:
big titty girls hump wit it
Psychostalker says:
i think its hoes but thats not nice
Psychostalker says:
am i bugging you yet?
Psychostalker says:
damn im annoying
i'm dying here reading it outloud
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
im so much fun
Psychostalker says:
but you wouldnt know
Psychostalker says:
cuz you forget i exist
Psychostalker says:
all of you
Psychostalker says:
get them tig ole bitties
we love you dana
Psychostalker says:
im gonna do my comedy show
Psychostalker says:
right her in your box
Psychostalker says:
live and not in color
Psychostalker says:
in horse
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
cuz my pics are scary and nekkid
Psychostalker says:
and my boobs are big enough i dont need rockband
Psychostalker says:
wheres my pill bottle friend anyway
Psychostalker says:
am i pathetic enough yet?
Psychostalker says:
*rolls ey es*
Psychostalker says:
gotta put a space in there or it says e
Psychostalker says:
and thats dumb
Psychostalker says:
do you think your computer will blow up
Psychostalker says:
if i continue this?
Psychostalker says:
you would think a person would get tired of talkin to themself
Psychostalker says:
not me
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
i like talking
Psychostalker says:
i like alanis btw
Psychostalker says:
good job on that
Psychostalker says:
im thirsty
Psychostalker says:
vodka tonic anyone?
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
stop throwin stuff at me
Psychostalker says:
its not nice
Psychostalker says:
is your sound on?
Psychostalker says:
is this messing with your rockband?
Psychostalker says:
i lied
Psychostalker says:
a person does get bored talking to themself
Psychostalker says:
is themself a word?
Psychostalker says:
ill have to look into thatt
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
only one t on that
Psychostalker says:
well two but only one at the end
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
do you like my name?
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
im gonna send my horses after you
Psychostalker says:
i think im going to have to copy/paste this into a blog
Psychostalker says:
it would be great for the world to know how you people treat me
Psychostalker says:
and that im crazy enough to talk to myself for 7 minutes now
lmaqo your a freak
i love it
Psychostalker says:
Psychostalker says:
im so bloggin this
Psychostalker says:
really i am
Psychostalker says:
i mean what do i have to lose

Sunday, March 22, 2009

This Is Becoming a Habit

I guess I can't use my sour moods as a reason for not blogging anymore. I had a great fabulous week in Tennessee this past week and still didn't blog much. I will blame it on being busy. Which I was. Way more busy than I have been in a month at home alone. My days are all confused, but I went and got a manicure and my eyebrows waxed with my sister while home. I have never paid someone to "do" my 'brows, and I will never again, thank you very much. I wandered a mall with sister and mom one day. Hopefully the husband isn't reading this from the sandbox, but I spent LOTS of money in Walmart there. As if there isn't one here or something. I had a night out with my sister, too. I learned that returning home at 4am KNOWING you have a toddler that doesn't sleep past 7 or so is DUMB. I am too old for all that business. Really. And yes, for those nosey-all-in-my-bidness people, I had the permission of the husband.

So, we did get the toddler's birthday party done up. And the husband was able to join us via webcam. It was special for him I am sure. And for his family members that don't get to see/talk to him almost daily. For me, it was bittersweet. I mean, wow, technology afforded my husband the ability to watch (not listen because he didn't bring headphones to the cafe, but I do believe that may have been done on purpose) his baby girl's birthday party in Tennessee all the way from Iraq. At the same time though, it really drove home how much these soldiers miss when they are gone for a year or longer. It was a difficult day for me, no matter the reason.

I went to dinner with family a couple times during the week. I totally took advantage of being on "vacation". The night after I arrived I took Mom, Steve, and D to mexican food. It was a craving I had been dealing with for a LONG time. You see, mexican restaurants in Texas don't serve white cheese dip. It's yellow. I like white. Dammit. So anyway, I forced them to eat mexican. Again. Apparently it was the parents' second time and the kiddo teenager's 3rd for the week. It was his birthday week and mexican is his food of choice. There was a night that Mom had something church related to do and Steve was working late, so it was D, the toddler, and me. I could easily have cooked. There was food there to be cooked. I decided early in the day that pizza it was. Totally took advantage of "vacation" time. Oh, and the night before I left I went to dinner with Mom, the toddler, and Auntie. To my favorite restaurant. The OG. Yum. I meant to hit up the mexican place again in the week, but ran out of time. I am certain any weight lost before leaving was gained back. Lost it in a month, gained back in a week. That sucks.

We made our way back to Texas yesterday. I am sick. The first pilot tried to scare the crap out of me on landing. It caused my ear to feel like I was underwater. All day. I finally fixed it last night by ramming a screwdriver in there to relieve the pressure. No, not really. A hot washcloth did the trick. So now I am home. Can't say I am happy to be home, but I am here.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Need to Get Better

I really need to get better about blogging. It isn't like I don't have enough time sitting in front of the computer. I guess I just don't have enough to say these days.

I am home for Spring Break. I am loving it. I am hopefully getting my mental issues stabilized. I feel like it is helping.

I am missing my Wii time with the girls. We play Mario Kart together every night. From the comfort of our own homes. I am in Texas. They are in Misery. There is even someone that occasionally joins us from Alabama. Crazy stuff. I am certain they haven't played a bit since I left. Wouldn't want me to feel all left out. Right? Girls? Hello? Hmmmm.

Things have been going well here. I am sleeping a bit more and feeling alot less stressed. I am trying NOT to think about leaving. Hopefully the progress I have made will not reverse.

Today is the birthday party for the Toddler. We are having it a little early because we will be gone before her actual birthday. By a day. Because once she has a big 2 year old birthday, the airlines decide she cant sit in my lap and must have her own seat. That's silly, but whatever. The husband has intentions of joining us via webcam live from Iraq. Let's pray the internet cooperates. I will post pics. Once I steal them from Mom because I am too cool to remember to bring a camera. Gee.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tales From the Padded Room

Ok, so I am not really in a padded room...and I haven't been. I have, however, felt close to it! I haven't posted in a while because I haven't had anything great to say. I don't think that has changed, but I felt the need to say I am alive!
Deployments stink, along with everything on the emotional roller coaster that comes with them. I am better. I am not great though. This gets easier, so I am told. I think they are all liars who just want me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The light that doesn't exist.

I am currently typing in the dark. I am doing alot of backspacing. The toddler thinks that the only cool way to watch cartoons is in the dark now. It is totally messing with my computer abilities. She doesn't care.
Does anyone at Fort Hood hear the owls? Or is it some other kind of bird? I swear its a recording. It plays all day. The same sound or call or whatever you want to call it. Over and over again. Supposedly it is to keep us from being ran out by other birds? I sure hope someone else hears it. Otherwise I am closer to that padded room than I thought.

The toddler has many new skillz. She now knows to say "no way" any time nap or bed time is mentioned. She also thinks her Daddy lives in my computer. She stops by any time I am on here to look for his face. It's almost as funny as it is sad. She gets to seem him often via webcam. They make faces and blow kisses and laugh at each other. Oh, and she shows off her skillz. Like her booger picking and eating. Life is grand.

I have left my house this week. Many times. I have been outside. I have been social with my neighbors. One of the neighborhood children had the most precious, shocked expression yesterday when she saw me wandering the hood. She actually said, "You are going over there? You never go over there. You never leave your house." Over there would be across the street where the other wives apparently hang out watching the children run wild. I told the little girl "I like my house....it's cool." What I really wanted to say after that is, mind your own bidness and where the hell is your mother kid? I didn't.

So, I am alive and sort of fine. The kids are faring well. They enjoy ramen noodles for dinner a couple times a week with some fast food and frozen pizza thrown in. I bet they will be really glad when the husband returns and they get real food. Actually, they will get real food next week because we are going home for Spring Break. Grammy cooks real food. I might have to help. It might interfere in my internet time though. Decisions, decisions. I am seriously thinking I will just pack some ramen noodles, just in case.

For your MY viewing pleasure....

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Emergency is in the eye of the beholder

I am often, lately, left wondering what exactly would be considered an emergency? You see, different people view that word differently. For example, some people believe that a runny nose constitutes a trip to the Emergency Room. I am not saying they are wrong, I am just saying that to some, a runny nose would not be considered an emergency.

Why all the emergency questions? You see, I can send a Red Cross message to the husband in the event of an emergency. If warranted, according to who knows who, he could be sent home in an emergency.

This week I have had two different emergencies. The first was that the lightbulb blew in the hallway upstairs. DQ has to have the light. None of the electrical outlets in her room work and I refuse to call maintenance to fix them until she cleans her mess. I was left to change the lightbulb myself. I am a little short. I drag a chair upstairs, climb up and start turning the fixture thing. I turn and turn and turn. It doesn't come off. What the hell? I then just pull. Praying that I am not showered in slivers of glass. It eventually comes off. I put in the new lightbulb and can't get the thing back on there. I push and push and push. It wont work. All of this while standing on my tippy toes on a chair with my arms stretched as far above my head as I can reach. After about 20 minutes, I got the stupid thing on there. I am now unable to walk normally or hold my head in a normal position. Pretty sure I should have just sent a Red Cross message that my husband needed to come home and replace the lightbulb so that DQ could get some stinking sleep!

The second emergency occurred last night. You see, after Christmas we rearranged the living room. This required relocating the surround sound speakers and such. Last night, the girls and I settled in to watch a movie. The sound was messed up. We could hear the music fine, but the words were all muffled. I tried to figure out the problem for 30 minutes. I was disconnecting and reconnecting various speaker wires. Nothing was solving the problem. When I decided 20 minutes in that I gave up and there would be no movie watching, DQ said she could deal with the muffled voices. I could not. I continued working at this for 10 more minutes. I finally gave up. I gave each little speaker wire clamp thing a good push, and ta-da! We had voices. Again, I am pretty sure that the husband's presence would have resolved this emergency much more quickly. I'm just sayin'.

I suppose I could just look at it as look what I was able to do all by myself. Even if it took forever. Even if I was crippled for a few days. Even if I am sleep deprived. Even if I miss the husband more than anyone could ever know. Even if...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Out Of It Much?

I may have mentioned that the husband ran off with the Army, leaving me here to take care of bidness alone. I may also have mentioned that I have had a bit of a rough time...

The toddler is not taking her naps, thus I am not getting a nap. Which is the cherry on top of my insomnia sundae. I blame my lack of sleep for the thing I found today. Before I get to that, I must share this:

I put the toddler in her bed for naptime yesterday. She has decided her bed is not for napping. She will drag her pillow and both blankets into the hallway and sleep at the top of the stairs OR

She sneaks into my bed and sleeps. When I attempt to join her in naptime bliss, naptime is over.

This morning I realized that I have NO clean clothes. None. Nada. Must. Do. Laundry. I throw the overgrown pile of dirty clothes from my bathroom down the stairs and head to the laundry room. I know that there is a load left in there from yesterday. I know. Don't judge. I open the dryer to transfer the load and realize that there is a load in there as well. Hmmmm. It looks strange. I touch something in there and it seems...crusty. Ahhh. I put the clothes in there and didn't turn it on. They air dried. How's that for going green?
I also got a text (loving that) from the husband this morning. He is in the field. In Kuwait. How does it get more in the field than being in Kuwait? Whatever. He is not pleased. There are no showers and they are sleeping on the floor. Kind of like camping. Rustic camping. With a million men. Ewww. Can you imagine the stench cloud floating above that campsite? I am leaving you with that picture.

The toddler is turning around to the Imagination Movers. She is so cute. Hopefully she will wear her little toddler butt out and take a nap. Mommy needs R-E-L-I-E-F!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Never Trust A Toddler

The toddler has so many cute things she does...coloring herself with markers, pointing out family members in pictures, begging to "jump, jump", screaming for her sister as soon as she walks in the door from school.

She also loves to smell things. Like the citronella candles on the patio table. She will bring them to me to smell as well. Yesterday, she came to me while I was playing stalker on the computer and wanted me to smell her finger. Like any dumb obliging parent, I smelled her finger.

Later on, I had the pleasure of watching what it was I was smelling. She was taking her little hand and shoving it down the butt of her diaper. She then sniffed her little finger, said yucky and brought the finger for me to sniff. Oh. My. Goodness. Lesson learned.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Pulling It Together

I have finally managed to pretty much drag myself out of my slump. It's been a really hard week for me. I can't even begin to tell you how bad because surely the white coats would be called to lock me in a padded room. Either way, I am better today...except for the stomach bug I must have contracted. Yuck. Even that is better today than yesterday.

I haven't been up to much of anything. I cleaned DQ's room one day this past week. I didn't bother with pictures because I would be embarrassed for anyone to see a room looking like that in my house. Telling you what it looked like isn't nearly as bad. The room was so bad that had there been a fire, I wouldn't have risked my life to go in there and get her...I'd be afraid I would break a leg and not be able to drag myself out. Now, that doesn't mean I would let her burn...sheesh people. I would stand near the door and scream for her. In cleaning her room, I found all of the household towels. I knew they had to be in there. Over the last couple of weeks I kept telling her to get and get ALL of my towels out of her room because I was fairly certain we owned more than the two I kept washing. She would come down with one or two and swear that was it. Right. She has now been informed that if I ever find my towels laying in her bedroom floor, she will air dry. To which she replied, that will take a long time. Was I supposed to care?

I really want to thank my family and friends that have been there for me over this last week. I know I was a complete bummer. I hope that I will be better now. Some of you know exactly what I went through, others can't imagine, but it was extremely difficult for me. Thank you so much.

Monday, February 9, 2009

100 Posts and Goodbyes

How's this for a 100th post?

I was out the last few days. Some of you may have been able to figure out why. For those of you that weren't....

This was the reason for my absence. I spent every minute that I could with the husband because he left yesterday. For a year. Watching him walk away from us was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. For the record, this shit SUCKS. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking it doesn't. I will get through it just like every other spouse that has gone through it, but it doesn't make it suck any less. The other situation has supposedly been resolved. Only time will tell.

So this morning as I sit here typing this, the toddler is up my ass...where she's been since yesterday. I have managed to make coffee, but it could walk on it's own. See, I didn't get much sleep and the toddler was up before 6am and wandered downstairs alone. In the dark. I got up and after once putting the filter (minus coffee) into the machine and realizing my mistake, I put too many scoops in it. Great start to a great year, eh?

Friday, February 6, 2009

I'll be out

I will be out for a while. Don't know when I will be back. Take care bloggyworld.

Friday, January 30, 2009

There Is No Family In the Army

This week has been full of ups and downs for my family. Many, many ups and downs. I usually try to keep some of my personal business personal, but for this post, I think I just have to let it all hang out there.

We have been involved in a case, trying to get custody of my stepchildren. They are in a physically and emotionally abusive home and are being medically neglected. I will not go into the details of the abuse, but it is happening. Without any doubt.

Some of you may be thinking why didn't we report this to the proper authorities (CPS)? The answer to that is simple. We have. On numerous occasions. The nicest thing that I can say about the CPS in the state where the children reside is...well I can't think of anything nice to say. Let me tell you though, their investigative skills are mediocre at best. The caseworker interviewed a woman that was almost 9 months pregnant, but was unaware that the woman was pregnant. They were to investigate a person living in the household, but their report contains no information regarding that person living there. Apparently, investigation means different things to different people.

Due to the lack of response from CPS, we were forced to go through legal channels. We retained an attorney and have been diligently working towards removing the children from a bad situation. It has been a long and stressful process.

Now, on to the Army part of things. As has been mentioned a few times, the husband is scheduled to deploy. Very soon. Using the proper channels, we have requested that he be allowed to remain behind to conclude the case involving his children. Let me stress that my husband wants to deploy with his unit. This is not attempt to get out of a deployment. He is ready and willing to join his unit as soon as his children are safe. This week we were told that would be allowed. We were given a date for his departure that would allow him to take care of this. A day later, that was revoked. A day later, his flight moved up yet again. We are now looking at a deployment well in advance of getting his children out of this situation. It has been suggested that he leave his children where they are until after his return. In a year. It was also suggested that I fight for his children on his behalf. Trust me, I am more than willing, but it is not allowed. I have asked to be able to do just that.

The Army is suggesting that a soldier deploy to a warzone and leave his children to be abused. To be neglected. The Army expects us to believe that there are no flights to Iraq after a certain day. The Army somehow believes that this will not affect the soldier's ability to perform his job. The Army would also like the general public to believe that they support the soldier and his family. I would love to know where this support is now.

I understand completely that my husband signed the contract. I understand completely that my husband obligated himself to serve his country. I also understand that when doing so he did not realize that at some point in the near future he would be required to choose the safety and well being of his children or his career or jail time.

I won't even go into the fact that at this point in time, the husband is considered nondeployable for medical reasons. They have suggested that he find out if the required surgery can be performed in Iraq. In a warzone.

I am asking for your prayers, your thoughts, your advice, your experience, anything that you are willing to offer.

Feel free to link to this post :)

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Good Mom, Horrible Mom?

I read on another blog about how this mother spent her entire meal time getting up to get things for her children. I decided right then and there that either I am a HORRIBLE mother or I am a SMART mother.

Part of the difference between she and I is my oldest is big enough to get her own things, although she will occasionally try to get me to do everything for her.

I noticed about a year ago (when all 4 kiddos were with me full time, I was doing the married single parent thing), that these kids were determined that my food had to be cold. I would make 3 children's plates (the toddler was a baby) and set them at the table with drinks and utensils. By the time I started making my plate, the first kiddo was asking for seconds. I would stop making my plate in order to feed that kiddo. Go back to making my plate and here comes kiddo #2. Okay, you see this pattern, correct?

I then decided I would make their plates, set them at the table, make my plate and then call the kiddos for dinner. Of course, about halfway through my meal someone was ready for seconds. At least I got to eat half of my food while it was warm. At some point, I decided that eating cold food was absurd. The kids now wait until I am done with my plate before they get seconds. Sometimes DQ will ask for more, I am getting better about allowing her to get her own, but I have serious issues and am afraid she is going to burn herself on a hot pan. After all, she is the kid that managed to slam her arm in the van door.

The point? I do not interrupt my meal a million times a night. I definitely do not interrupt my meal to give the children seconds. There is absolutely no way I would interrupt my meal to give them dessert. In fact with DQ's age, she has been told if she does not have all she needs prior to my butt hitting the chair, she is outta luck.

Surely I am not the only mother that does this...right? Am I a horribly mean fatty mom that loves her food too much? Or am I smart enough to realize that patience is a virtue? Their patience, not mine.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Somedays It's Just Not Meant To Be

Today is one of those days. I am making a pot roast in my crock pot and decided so nice homemade rolls would be a great addition. I can not make bread by hand. Yeast hates me. It doesn't rise. So, I use the bread machine to make the dough and then pray I can make rolls out of it.

Let me set the scene for you. Bread machine on the counter, toddler under my feet, pan to bread machine next to bread machine on counter, cup of butter in microwave softening. Got all that? The toddler was whining mommy something or other and I am trying to get the dough going. I walk over to the microwave to get the softened butter, walk back to the counter and dump it in. For a split second I thought that's odd, I didn't hear a splash (the water was already in the pan). Oh crap! Yes. I dumped the softened butter into the actual machine...without the pan in it. Geez.

Funny little tidbit from our house the night of the pageant. We weren't actually watching the pageant, but the husband apparently wanted to know who won. He flipped to the channel after the crown was placed. I was buried in my computer or crocheting or both, but I do recall hearing him say something about who won? I heard him repeat the question a couple of minutes later. DQ was standing there, as innocent as children can be, and says "The one wearing the crown." She didn't realize what a smart ass answer this was, but I almost fell out of my chair laughing. The husband was not too pleased with her answer or my reaction. Men.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

One Crafty Lady

I mentioned a long, long time ago that I was making a present for someone. I can't recall if I said who for or not and I am too lazy to go look, so I will just tell the story again. Because I can.

I started making a purse for my super great MIL shortly after moving to Texas. That'd be in July. I finally finished (mostly) the thing in time to give it to her for Christmas. It was a birthday present though. Not a Christmas present. Her birthday is in...ummm...July. Better late than never. Here is what I made her.

I made this from one of the husband's uniform shirts. With his permission of course.

Then there was this other project that I started forever ago. I was looking for something in my totes of all things craft and found it. I decided to finish it in time to give it to the intended recipient...only a year or two later than planned. Again, better late than never. She has not received it, I just finished (mostly) it today. She doesn't read this blog so she will never know it's coming.

I crocheted this all by myself. My hands are now drawn up into fists. They hurt really, really bad. I still have some finishing touches to do. A few bows and a little feather fan thing, but the majority is done.
Now that I have tooted my own horn, I am off to soak my poor little hands!

What A List!

(TAG! YOU ARE IT! Copy and post this on your blog ASAP!) What is this?Well, you’re supposed to bold the things you’ve done so readerscan find out how you've led an awesome life so far.(wink,wink!)

I had to change it up a little so I could be different. The green things are things I WANT to do. The red are things I have done. The ones left black...not gonna happen.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16.Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing (caught a sand shark...I was just a wee lil one too)
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving - I am soooo on the fence on this one
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

There is a whole lot of green in that list. I really should get to it...life is too short.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Wii Fit Kicked My Ass

See...I have desired a Wii Fit forfreakingever. I finally got one using some creative purchasing to avoid the pukage that would ensue for spending a whopping $90 on myself. If I really thought about it, that is not really that bad of a price considering that a plain game can cost $50-$60. Whatever. That is a lot of money to spend on something to kick your ass. No joke. It is for the greater good though. Right?

I am a bit somewhat way out of shape. And fat. The Wii Fit said so. Actually it said I am the "O" word. As if I couldn't tell that myself. I got busy on it while the husband was not there to witness my utter mortification. It really was pathetic. I had to do each little "game" a few (hundred) times to get the hang of it. Not that they are hard really...I am just too "O" and uncoordinated.

Honestly? It was tons of fun to figure out how to properly play each little game. I had a blast with it. Worked out for 30 minutes and didn't even really feel like I had. However, in that 30 minutes I managed to break my good knee. Somehow. Not sure what I did, but boy does it hurt. I am going to attempt some more Fit action today anyway and see if maybe I can get past the broken knee thing.

Oh and the hula hoop game...TONS of fun. I am positive that anyone peeking in the window at that point would have been laughing hysterically, but it really was fun. Soccer head-butting-the- ball-game totally was too hard for my unbalanced, old, "O" self. I did manage to get above 30 points though. Yes, I was that pitiful. I am really looking forward to seeing how much progress I can make on reducing my BMI.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Toddler Poopypants

I am going to make this as quick as I can. Today we didn't dress the toddler. She wore her footed PJs that button up the front. All day. This evening, she apparently pooped. We were unaware of this. Usually she is pretty quick to tell us she has pooped. That or her stinch overpowers us. Anywho, she snuck into the backyard. When we went out a few minutes later she grabbed at her butt and said poop. I told her we would change her in a minute. Then she came over to me and kept fiddling with her side. I touched her and felt her PJs and her skin. No cushiony diaper. Strange. I felt the other side and same thing. She had managed to stick her little hands between the snaps on her PJs and unfasten her diaper. It migrated to her ankle. And yes, she had pooped. Lucky for me I had to finish dinner and the husband got the pleasure of cleaning her up.

Be happy that the only picture I took is completely G rated. If you look closely you can see a bulge in her right ankle area (that would be the foot on the left when looking at this pic). It was a mess in there. I am so lucky to be me.

Meanest Parents EVER

Well, I haven't been blogging much lately. I know why, I just don't know how to fix me. I am sorta preparing for the ugly, horrible, mean, lonely, sucky D word. That's deployment, not divorce! I didn't want my blog to be all pitiful me, so I haven't blogged. I have, however, been reading blogs so lil miss Derfina and Amber and Michelle and everyone else, need to get on the ball...or blog.

Had you been 'round my neck of the (not so) Great Place the other night, you may have thought we were murdering one of our children. Rest assured she is alive. I don't know how I refrained, but I did. She came in as I was taking my gourmet, fresh from the freezer, pizza dinner out of the oven and wanted to know if she could go to the park with someone and their uncle. Now, it was almost 6pm. It was getting dark, and it was dinner time. Duh.

Me: No, DQ, it's almost dark and dinner is ready.
DQ: Pleeeeeeeeease! I will eat dinner with T.
Me: No, DQ.
Tears and begging and pleading. She went out to let T know she wasn't going. The doorbell rings and it is T asking for her. Like that changed anything. DQ came back in.

DQ: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease mom! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeee!
Me: Go beg [the husband] because I am tired of hearing it! (I am soooo mean)
DQ: Please [the husband], pleeeeeeeeaaase! I will eat with T and I will never ask you to take me to the park again!
At that point, I am all for it. Never ask again. Wonder how long never is to an 8 year old?

TH: No.
DQ: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

This went on for like forever. I was ready to send her into the dark night alone just for quiet. I tried to reason with her that maybe T wouldn't eat dinner until after her bedtime. I mean, it was 6pm and they were going to the park. Who knows when they might eat. Plus, it's dark. AND I am mean. Also, I had made her favorite meal. None of it mattered. We are the meanest parents EVER. EVER.

Eventually, she stopped giving us the stink eye and went about her business.

I so love being a mom. Really. I do.

The parrot (AKA the toddler) is really killing me. She repeats everything. And then the husband tries to make her repeat the naughty words again. And again. It isn't funny. Really. Last night I told her to go tell her daddy that the bread tie goes back on the bread when he is done and she told him something that he couldn't understand (not unusual) and he said the only word he understand was the B word. Which I didn't say. Super!

I also got an award from AA and will be doing that post as well as some other crap here soon. I think I am having a good day. Maybe.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

What Am I Gonna Do?

I am preparing myself to go back to school. It is something that I kept saying I needed to do and...well...I just didn't. Yet. I was given (pre-children) a year of tuition and books to college by my father one year for Christmas. I took advantage and went to two classes per semester (I worked full time) every semester that year. I also was able to get my employer to reimburse the last semester's tuition and used it to continue into the next year. And then...I got pregnant. I decided to finish out that semester and sit out for a while because the baby would be born and stuff.

I went back to school for a semester, maybe two, after things settled down (a few years after she was born). Then, I worked a horribly demanding job (50-70 hours per week) and between work and school I was unable to have any quality family time. Or I got lazy burnt out. Either way, I haven't been back to school in a few years...again.

I am attempting to prepare myself for a lonely year so I decided now would be a good time. Problem is that with all of my education, I could probably be pretty close to a degree...had I stuck with one field. I have gone through several different career ideas. I started out in Information Technology. I then switched to Business Management. Then it was teaching. Then it was Social work. I have no idea what to do with the multitude of classes that I have wasted time, money and effort on.

Today I started looking at the local college to see what programs they offer. Then I remembered that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I really should determine this before I waste any more money. Truly. They had this little questionnaire thing that was designed to help you decide based on what you like to do, your skills, and the school subjects you like. Wanna know what I should be? Do ya? Here were my top three career clusters:

1. Education and Training - The 5 fastest growing careers in this cluster were: Special Education Teacher, Kindergarten Teacher, Self-Enrichment Education Teacher, Fitness Trainer and Aerobics Instructor (hahahahahaha), and Art, Drama, and music teacher - Postsecondary.

2. Human Services - The 5 fastest growing careers in this cluster were: Personal and Home Care Aide, Preschool teacher, Family and Marriage Therapist, Education Admin (preschool and child care), and Medical and Public Health Social Worker.

3. Business Management and Admin - 5 fastest: Receptionist and Information Clerk, customer service Rep, Administrative Services Manager, Training and Development Specialist, Interviewer (except Eligibility and Loan).

Now, for those of you that missed it, I have already taken classes in each of these clusters. This just emphasized what I already knew. I would enjoy these careers which is why I took classes in them to begin with. So, I am no closer than I was. Craptastic!

Monday, January 12, 2009

A Clean House...

After visiting with my OCD father and my immaculate housekeeper MIL (see, can't call her OCD cuz she might get me), I decided that I am a slob. Seriously. I wouldn't normally tell the world about this problem, but I have no morals anymore so I figured I might as well put it out there.

I probably shouldn't use the word slob. That's not really nice. I usually blame my "lived in" house on the toddler. This is not a lie. She destroys within minutes of my cleaning. She has gotten smarter in her methods though. While I clean the living room, she runs off to the kitchen or dining room and makes her messes in there. While I clean those, she goes into the living room and distributes her toys throughout as she sees fit. You get the picture. Either way, I am tired of living in a "lived in" house when everyone else's house is so CLEAN.

I just erased the paragraph detailing exactly what I did today because really? Who cares. I cleaned my house. I feel better. The End.

This afternoon, the husband put the toddler down for her nap at his lunch time. Did ya get all that? Anywho, before he laid her down though he had to change a stinky diaper (p.s. Do NOT tell the toddler she has a stinky ass...she will repeat). He decided to leave her pants off. After naptime, I was sitting her playing Guitar Hero (housework was done yo) and she walked up to me. I assume her finger was covered in poop (playing the game, duh!) because there was a HORRIBLE smell and said something then wiped it on her shirt. Super. She is no longer allowed to go pantless.

How was everyone else's Monday?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Horrible Coffee, Prayers Needed & Beautiful People

This morning, as with most mornings, the husband made a pot of coffee before he left for PT. For you civilian types, that's the military's exercise regime. Anywho, he got home before I made my first cup of coffee and informed me that the coffee was "really strong" for some reason today. I went about my business and made my cup. It was AWFUL. I mean really, really awful. I just poured it out and decided to go without my coffee this morning.

Later on, I was preparing for a grocery store trip and was taking stock of what I had and what I needed. I started looking for the coffee that he had picked up at the shopette yesterday and couldn't figure out where he had hidden it. I did spot what I thought was the instant coffee I had bought to make a coffee milkshake drink, but that was all I could find. Strange. I added coffee to my mental list and off I went. When I got home, he was here for lunch and I pointed out that the coffee was really nasty this morning. I also asked him where the coffee he had bought was. Yep. That INSTANT coffee I spotted? He had used that to make coffee this morning. I tried my hardest not to laugh at him as I pointed out the word INSTANT on the label. Poor thing. Good thing I grabbed some REAL coffee at the store. Tomorrow should be more caffeinated.
***By the husband's request I am adding that he gets up at 5am and is not really with it in the mornings.***

I am not going to dwell on this subject very long, but the situation that I have referred to a few times on this blog? Well, don't forget to keep praying and making your sacrifices or whatever for us. We had a setback in that situation today and I am just going to look at it as a speed bump. It will all work out the way it is supposed to. Right? RIGHT?! Since we all know that I am always right, this means that the situation will work out to MY way. Maybe I should start a separate blog just for this situation. Maybe it would help someone that was in the same predicament? Surely there can't be more than one person in the world like what we are dealing with though, right?

In any event, we had family pictures made while we were on our trip. We had our entire family together and went for it. They turned out really good...even with me in them! I am pleased with my beautiful family!