Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Neverending Christmas Light Nightmare

I know I have discussed my brilliant plans before and we all know how those turn out. Last night, I had yet another brilliant plan. We went to see:

Now this is a collection of Christmas light scenes that is at the outdoor recreation are not too far from Fort Hood. I thought a nice little drive, see pretty lights, be on our way home. Holy cow! We drove through displays forever! I was tired of Christmas lights by the time we got to the end. I seriously was afraid we would be there forever. I think we spent an hour and a half driving through there.
I took pictures, but there are a couple of problems with those. It would take me several shots to get a decent one because I used the night setting on my camera and it has an extremely slow shutter speed or something. You have to be very, very still while taking the picture. I? Have nerve issues and shake alot. From the looks of some of the pictures, someone might think I have a severe problem here.
Nonetheless, here are a few of the really cool displays they had. I am saving one display to post closer to Christmas.

That would be a male and female reindeer in a hottub!

Santa is Golfing, in case you couldn't tell.
Overall, it was fun. A long time to sit in a car looking at lights, but most of the displays were really great!
Today, I was spoiled. I got a laptop table thing that holds my laptop out of my lap and has a mousepad. Thus, I got to buy a mouse for the laptop. My little touch mouse thing drives me batty sometimes! We were in Target looking at a mouse and I told the husband, "ya know, $20 is more than I wanted to spend". Ya see, he was telling me to go ahead and spend an extra $7 and get the wireless mouse. DQ stands there and says "You always were cheap." That gave me the extra incentive to get my darn wireless mouse. And it's pink. Oh, and the laptop table thing? I got it at Bed, Bath and Beyond. It was $29.99 and I had a $10 off coupon. How great is that?

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Yes, I Did It Again

Every year I swear not to do it next year. Every year I tell myself this is the last year. Then, the sales ads come out. Bingo! Who could pass up deals like those? So, yesterday I was up bright and early to take part in the Black Friday madness. Actually, it wasn't so bright. It was still dark. I got up at 4am. The husband got up to make my coffee while I dressed so that I could have a to-go cup. He's the best sometimes! He even tried to tell his Stepdad that he should do the same for Mom. It didn't seem promising.

I was out the door at 4:24am. I stopped by the ATM to get cash. I take cash for a couple of reasons. One is that ensures I will not overspend. The second is that I have subscriptions and thus a fear that I will get to the register with all of my goods and my card will be declined. I have no idea why I would have that fear, but I do.

I arrived at Walmart. I expected busy. I expected nutty people. I did not expect the chaos. You see, the store that I went to last year got smart. They had a list when you entered. On the list is where every sale item would be located in the store. This was tremendously helpful. You know, they never put the items in the correct department and all. This store did not have a list. In fact, most of the employees seemed to be a bit clueless about where things were located as well.

I walked in and headed back to the toy department because DQ is in desperate need of a bike and there was one on major sale ($29). I found an employee and asked where it would be. Garden Center he says. Okay. So I head that way and found a line snaking out of the entrance to the Garden Center. Hmmm. I ask a man in the line, "What are you in line for?" his reply, "I don't know, I just want a tree." Right. So I join the line and wait. I can hear the vultures gathered around the display of sheet sets arguing and the employee back there trying to control them. It struck me as really odd. Fighting over sheet sets. So I text the husband to find out what could be so important in the Garden Center. Not sure. They let us in and it was a mess. People weren't running, but they were jogging I suppose. The man behind me, I thought I was going to end up one of those nuts on the news that goes ballistic. He kept ramming his effing cart into my heel. The first couple of times I ignored him, the next few I turned to give dirty looks, finally I turned around and asked what the (bleep) his problem was? He stopped. Apparently the must have item was out there. The Power Wheels Jeep. Geez.

I got my bike and headed around to find the rest of the things on my list I wanted to pick up. The line for electronics was literally wrapped around the entire store. I skipped those items. Don't need anything that bad. I found some of the items I was in search of in other people's carts so I stole them. Kidding. I asked where they were found. I got almost everything I needed. The stress of the crowd was getting to me, so I headed for the checkouts. There was something at Target I had to have you know. It was 5:40 and I had a bit of a drive ahead of me. I stood in a checkout line for 40 minutes. During this time, I contemplated telling the children they must have been bad that's why they got nothing for Christmas. I tried to make my self leave it all and go home and crawl back in bed. It was a tough time. In the end, the looks on the faces of the children when they opened all of these things kept me standing there.

I headed to Target for the 7" Dual Screen Portable DVD player for $88. It was almost 7 when I got there. An hour after they opened. They were gone. I walked around the store. Found nothing I needed and left. To go to the Walmart I passed on my way. It was considerably more calm in there. I got a few more of the things on my list and headed home. I then talked to my sister who had gone to Geoffrey's (ToysRus) and told me of their sales. I got online, looked and decided I.Must.Go. Off I went. They had nothing. Crap. Head back home where the husband is ready to get out of the house so we all head back to the first Walmart. I know. I know. I got the thing I wanted. A thing he wanted. Some food, and headed for the doors. It was naptime.

Every year I go through this ritual that is Black Friday. Every year I say I will not do it next year. Every year I am enticed into the madness with the great sales. Not next year. I am done.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Offended, Heartbroken, and Thankful

This man. The man that I have followed from one end of Tennessee to the other, only to have to move halfway across the country to the (not so) Great Place. The man that I have spent the last (almost) 5 years loving. The man that I spent 9 months of hell in order to have his little girl. The man that gifted me with three more children than I already had. The man that I slave over a hot stove for every night...well almost every night. He has done the unthinkable. It sickens me.

He came home the other day with this confession, it I had taken me some time to come to accept this. Yesterday as I stood in the kitchen cutting the celery and onions for the dressing, it all came rushing back to me. I had been in the kitchen making cornbread (from scratch mind ya), making pumpkin pies (from a can), a cheeseball, sausage balls, and there I was cutting the veggies for the dressing. It's like a nightmare that I was living over and over. Hearing his words, seeing the look in his eyes. Are you ready for this?

He had a potluck at work the other day. The NCO's fed the soldiers. He came home with this grin and said, "don't take this as a comparison, cuz it's not" and then he said the words that changed me forever, "I had some dressing today and it was outfreakingstanding". He ate another woman's dressing and then had the nerve to come home and BRAG about it. Went on and on about how moist and whatever else he thought was so great about it. Disgusting!

Did I have you thinking he had done something else? That wouldn't have been nearly as devastating to me as coming home talking about someone else's dressing. I am so hurt. If you know me, you know that I take pride in my cooking. My dressing is one of the best things I make! Right, Mom? I decided to make my famous dressing even better this year. Maybe that'll teach him!


Now that my poor Mother in law is ready to murder me for scaring the crap out of her, I shall talk about today. Today is Thanksgiving. Although I am far, far away from anyone I know, I am thankful. I am thankful for all of my children. I am thankful for my relative health (it's all relative, yes?). I am thankful that we are together today. We are missing some vital parts of our family, but I am thankful that my husband is here. I know there are so many families who are missing that loved one this year. After reading Michelle's blog today, I have a renewed sense of being thankful that the husband is here. He may not always be able to be here. I am thankful that I have a home (saw a heartbreaking story about a family that lost their home last night on the news) and we are all warm and going to have a great meal. I am thankful for lots of things that I just can't think of right now.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Keep those families that have a missing loved one in your thoughts. Also, keep the missing loved ones in your thoughts.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm Still Alive...I think

Okay I have decided that I definitely have some major issues. Like subscriptions major.

I guess I should start off by apologizing for not being around lately. I am sure both of my readers missed me. I am sorry. I haven't really had much to say. Well I have plenty to say, but nothing worth writing a blog about. Or nothing I feel comfortable writing blogs about. Some things are better left unsaid...ya know?

The neighbor that I was friend courting...well...that didn't go so well. I haven't talked to her in days. I haven't even tried to. Why? Well, because I decided that she and I weren't a good match. I have no idea why I pick apart people the way that I do, but I do it. Subscriptions I tell ya. I haven't written her off completely, but I haven't gone out of my way to speak to her either.

The friendship pool just isn't as deep as it used to be. I try to be friendly to other mommies I see. I smile and say hi as I huff and puff my way to the school in the afternoons. I try not to stare and become Single White Female on people, but it just doesn't work for me. Maybe I should start following the mommies I pass along the walk? That would be hilarious. I am sure.

We I have been busy preparing the menu for tomorrow. I am excited that it is almost Thanksgiving, bringing me that much closer to Christmas and my trip HOME. I am so excited about going home for Christmas that I could pee my pants. But that would make a mess that I would have to clean, so I won't. Anywho, back to tomorrow. I am preparing this huge meal for the four of us. It's almost depressing. Seriously. We ended up not being able to kidnap and stuff a soldier for a day (everyone has plans, imagine that). So it's just us. Which I am telling myself is fine. We need this time together as a least half of one. He may not be here next year for this day. Then, I start getting more depressed so I tell myself that life is grand, I plaster the smile across my face and go cook. So far I have made two pans of cornbread. Yum. Next is the pies. It's hot as hell in this house though so they are going to wait a while. And I just set off the smoke alarm with my awesome cornbread. Yay! It isn't even smokey in here. Who knows. DQ said it smells funny maybe that's why. Whatever.

I am probably not going to be around blogging tomorrow either...unless something really funny happens. I plan to set up the computer with the webcam on so that my family back home can get glimpses of our chaos. Right, Mom?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

This Is What They Teach

Today DQ's school had their Thanksgiving lunch. It was a pretty big event I suppose. I have no idea how many students are in the school, but they served over 1,000 lunches today. They sold "tickets" ahead of time for parents to attend. They had their sponsoring unit's soldiers there to serve the food. DQ was especially excited to see "Army men" plopping the food on the plates instead of the normal cafeteria workers. She shouted "horse patch" when she saw the 1st Cav patch on one of the soldiers. It was great!

We arrived a little before her lunch time and as it turned out, they were running behind on lunch times because of the volume of people they were serving. DQ's teacher was really great and invited us to sit in the classroom while we waited. This greatly disrupted her classroom. The toddler was there you see and apparently all kids love babies. The teacher gave out a word search in order to keep the kiddos busy while they impatiently waited for their lunch time. She offered the husband and I each a word search to do too.

I challenged him, saying that I could finish it before him. I am not going to say who won, but I will say that when the husband saw me taking pictures of the word search he got a little bothered! He thought I was going to blog about the outcome of our little contest, but I am not. *ahem*

I am blogging about the word search because as I was doing it, I found a couple of interesting words.

Can you believe that? In a word search for kids. Used in school. I giggled like a school girl as I sat in that itty bitty chair showing the husband the words I found! I don't think he found it quite as funny. Oh well. There is also a nice word that wasn't in the list. Can you find it?

I Got It! I Got It!

I was so excited to check my mail and find a box there yesterday. I found these adorable, adorable, adorable hair bows on Etsy and had to have them. Did I mention they were adorable? AND they are very reasonably priced. I was so excited that I almost posted yesterday and that would have buried my post dedicated to the birthday girl. Almost.

I bought these adorable little Christmas tree bows for the toddler and my niece:

I bought these for my older girls, they are personalized with their names:

I also got these cute little turkey bows:

I know, you are jealous, right? Go visit the wonderful creator of these bows and order yourself some! If you don't have any little girls, maybe you have nieces or friends with little girls? Anywho, there are tons of different bows, you can even get a Colts one AA! They look just as great as in the pictures on the site and they arrived quickly. I think I am going to be getting a few Titans bows very soon. Did you know they are UNDEFEATED this season? Isn't that GREAT?

P.S. If you just have no one at all to get hairbows for, maybe you could send them to DQ and the toddler? No? Okay, I tried. Toodles!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Happy Birthday, Babygirl!

My Dearest Firstborn,

I found out I was pregnant with you on Mother's Day 2000. I had this feeling that I was pregnant and even though it was early I had to know. I was beyond excited. I woke your Daddy as soon as the test showed positive and we called PopPop and some friends. We were thrilled.

I called my doctor and to my disappointment was told that if the test said I was pregnant, I was, so there would be no need for an appointment until 8 weeks. Eight very long weeks. At that appointment, we were given your due date. January 17, 2001. Right around both PopPop and GG's birthdays. GG wanted you to be born on her birthday and PopPop on his. You had different plans.

I had an extremely easy pregnancy, in the beginning. I had no morning sickness. I didn't notice a huge drop in energy. Everything was going fine. About halfway through it all, I was tested for gestational diabetes. You remember me having to poke my finger and test my blood sugar when I was pregnant with your sister, right? Yes, I had that problem with you. No big deal, though. I adjusted my eating habits a little and all was fine. Except that the only thing I really craved when I was pregnant with you was Captain D's breadsticks. Strange, isn't it? I would leave work and drive 20 minutes one way to the nearest Captain D's just to get those things! Then of course, after the diabetes diagnosis, I wasn't allowed those anymore. Crud!

Also at about halfway through my pregnancy, we had an ultrasound. You refused to show us if you were a boy or a girl. You sat "criss cross applesauce" the whole time. No matter how hard that stinking lady pushed on my belly, you wouldn't budge. Hard headed even in the womb. I left that appointment disappointed and sore...very sore.

Lucky for me, with the diabetes, they did another ultrasound and we found out you were a girl. At first, Daddy was upset. You know how Daddy's always want a little boy, right? That all changed once you were here, of course. We immediately started thinking of names for you. I had none picked out, but I did know that I wanted to give you my mother's middle name. You never got to meet her, but she surely would have adored you. We decided on your name and never thought about it again. It just fit perfectly.

One day in early November, I felt a little strange at work so I went down to see the nurse. It was a Friday. The nurse told me my blood pressure was a little high and wrote it down for me so that I could call my doctor and let him know. I called and they gave me an appointment with the nurse practitioner. She informed me that I had an early case of pre-eclampsia. It was a dangerous situation and we had to get my blood pressure under control. I was taken out of work and put on bedrest. I saw my doctor on Tuesday and to my dismay, he continued my bedrest. I asked for how long and he said, "Until your due date or she arrives, whichever is first". I was not very excited about two months on bedrest.

Things quickly changed. I was rushed to the hospital by Daddy over that weekend, but by the time we got there my blood pressure was better so they sent me home. I saw my doctor again and thigns were worse. Much worse. I was weighed, as is normal when you are pregnant, and I had gained close to 10 pounds in a week. I was very upset by this. I had only gained 7 pounds the entire pregnancy before that! When they took my blood pressure, it was high. Very high. They spent alot of time watching me that day. They did tests, they had me turn onto my side, nothing helped the blood pressure. Eventually my doctor looked at me and said, "We are going to have to admit you".

I went to the hospital and was given medicine to keep me from having seizures because my blood pressure was high. I was on bedrest, strict bedrest. I was miserable and scared. I was scared because I didn't want you to be hurt. I was on a monitor that wrapped around my tummy and listened to your heartbeat (and kicks) all the time. They came in and did an ultrasound every day to make sure you were doing okay in there. They also wanted to see if your position had changed because you were being your usual hard headed self and were upside down. Actually, you were right side up when you should have been upside down.

I stayed in the hospital for what seemed like forever! Meemaw and Peepaw came up to see me and Daddy on Friday, November 17th. We visited and they went to their hotel. During the night, I was woken by nurses rushing into my room and putting an oxygen mask on my face. It scared me and Daddy. Did I mention that he slept at the hospital every night that I was there? He would get up in the morning and go to work, but he always came back every evening and slept on the little fold out chair. Meemaw and Peepaw rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night because Daddy called them and said something was wrong. You gave everyone quite the scare. Your heartrate had dropped and that is why they came rushing in. Because of this scare, I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything until my doctor came around. It stunk! He finally made it around and they fed me. Thank goodness.

On Saturday, November 18th, I had a big, big day. I hadn't been allowed to go to PopPop's house for my baby shower because of my blood pressure so everyone was coming up to see us and bring the gifts! Aunt Jessica, my Aunt Debbie, my Aunt Sherry, Jennifer, lots of people came up to visit. I got to open all of the gifts and visit with everyone for a while. Then everyone went to our house to put away the gifts and set up your nursery. You see, I wasn't planning on being on bedrest and in the hospital so I hadn't done much yet. After they finished at the house, they were all heading home. Meemaw and Peepaw too. Then, things changed.

At about 4 in the afternoon, the nurse came in to check my blood pressure. It was apparently high because she asked me to turn onto my side. She checked it again and again. It was really, really high. She pushed the call button and asked the other nurse to call my doctor. Eventually she went out of the room to do something so I called Daddy. He came rushing back. He ran stop signs, red lights, drove like a crazy man! Meemaw and Peepaw saw him doing this and knew something was wrong. After they got to the hospital, the doctor came in and said it was time. Things were no longer safe for you in my tummy. They started to get things ready and Daddy called everyone else to let them know. Lots and lots of people came in to see me that night. We were all very scared. They had done an ultrasound that morning and estimated your weight at 3 and a half pounds. The doctor told me that there was an 80% chance that you would be fine. I had to have a c-section because you were still upside down.

There was another emergency worse than mine, so we had to wait a little while. They took me back to the surgery room and finished getting me ready. I was awake and could hear everything that was going on. I was very afraid and so was Daddy. There were lots of doctors and nurses in the room because you were very early and very small. I heard the baby doctor (neonatologist) say "that's a small baby" and my doctor replied "supposed to be 3.5 pounds" and then the other doctor said "they were generous". That scared me even more. You did not come out screaming like they always show on TV. You were having trouble breathing. They quickly let me see you and then rushed out of the room to the NICU where they could take care of you.

Later that night the neonatologist brought me your first picture. He explained that you were very sick, but that he thought you would be fine. You were on a ventilator to help you breathe for the first 18 hours. After that, you were breathing on your own! You spent almost a month in the NICU. You had to learn to keep your body warm, to drink a bottle and still breathe, and you had to gain some weight. Oh yes, I forgot that part! Silly me! You were born at 8:20 PM, weighing 2 pounds and 15.9 ounces! Tiny little thing! You were long though. 17 inches!

We had to take classes on CPR and learn how to use your apnea monitor and then on a snowy day in December you came home. That stinking monitor gave me fits! It would go off all the time, two different times it caused you to be put back in the hospital and a million tests run. It always ended up being that the monitor was faulty and you were fine! You grew so fast! You gained lots of weight and were such a good baby! You rarely cried. You were so easy to please! You were easy to take off the bottle, easy to potty train, just easy!

We eventually learned that you had a stroke when you were an infant and that has caused you a few problems, but you have overcome so much. You were diagnosed as having mild CP. You didn't let that stop you! You dealt with the therapies. You dealt with the surgery in 2007. You are a smart and beautiful little girl. Even when you are rotten, I am so proud and happy to be your mother. You can do anything babygirl. Anything. Look at everything you have been through! Happy 8th birthday!!!!!

Your first picture:

7 days old:

Just over 6 months:

Around 1 year:

Around 4:

And at almost 8:

Monday, November 17, 2008


The toddler at it again!

Manic Monday

Today's post will be a collection of randomness. Because I can. I have a screaming migraine and a screaming knee and a screaming toddler. Any questions? Good.

Wal-Mart drives me crazy. They have most crafts in one section, but cake decorating supplies near stationary. That makes sense.

Thanksgiving is coming up quickly. We are possibly going to host one or two or a few (I rhymed hehe) single soldiers in our home for dinner. If the husband doesn't get on that so I can get the menu and shopping done, I may hurt him.

I have to figure out where all of my Christmas things are because I must put them up the day after Thanksgiving. Or maybe the weekend after. Depending on my level of energy.

Impatient people are funny. Walking home from the school today, there are 3,000 vehicles on the road and someone was tired of waiting on the person in front of him to pull out in front of someone so he laid on the horn. That helped.

The little walk to the school in the afternoons is killing me. Seriously. I hope something is figured out about my knee at my appointment on Weds. Or I may resort to self-amputation.

I am an evil, evil mother. I torture my children for the giggles of it. I informed DQ of my doc appointment yesterday. I made sure to tell her it was on the day of Thanksgiving lunch at her school. I also made sure not to tell her that I would be leaving after lunch to go to the doctor. I wanted her to think I wasn't going to be there. Gotta keep her on her toes, eh? She was upset and disappointed and pulled the "I'm gonna be the only one there with no one" card. We already know how that goes. She's full of it. Does she not remember telling me that only two other kids in her class brought the money in for the lunch? Since I am feeling sentimental about the brat I told her my appointment was after lunch.

Tomorrow is a very big day! Make sure you come back to check out the uber long post! You may need tissues. If you are having hormone issues such as I. Toodles!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Betty Crocker Part Deuce

Today was another disappointing day. I found these gorgeous little cupcake bites and decided I must make them. You would think that my failure yesterday would have curbed my desire to reduce my self esteem further, but it did not. I baked the red velvet cake yesterday. It came out fine. This tells me that I am capable of baking a cake. Making it something pretty is another story.

I had to crumble the nicely baked cake.

Then I had to add the cream cheese frosting. Next I rolled them into balls. The original recipe did mention the need for frequent rinsing/drying of the hands. Very important detail. Definitely needed.

I then froze the balls for a while in preparation of smooshing them into cupcake shapes via the little cookie cutter. I would love to say it was as easy as it sounds and that they do indeed resemble cupcakes, but that would be a lie. They do not even almost resemble cupcakes. It was a messy, messy failure.

I convinced myself that once they were dipped, they would look better. About halfway through dipping 1,000 stupid little wanna be cupcakes, I became a bit...pissy. I decided who effing cares if they resemble cupcakes. I dipped them and didn't even bother to try to make them neat. This is an important fact. After dipping the bottom, you put them on their tops so that the bottom can harden.

When it came time to do the tops, I enlisted the help of DQ. She was sprinkle girl. I made a mess. I had yellow candy melt crap all over my hands. The onese that I get pissy with and quit trying to make them look decent wouldn't stand up. I finally just said who cares if they are laying-on-their-side-cupcakes? Who really cares if some of them are leaning against each other for support? We all need support sometimes, no?

Regardless, the finished product is not nearly as pretty as the inspiration. I have decided that unbelievably talented women who post pictures of their impeccable creations only do so in order to taunt the wanna be's (me) into making fools of themselves. However, I am going to show off my creations in all their glory.

P.S. They do taste wonderful. That's what really matters I am sure.

Don't worry I won't be trying any more fancy schmancy baking again anytime soon. I am tired of that stupid kitchen!

Mission: Make a Friend is still ongoing. Not much to report yet. I don't think anyone suspects the state of my mental health. And by anyone I mean the one person that I am courting for friendship.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Betty Crocker...Or Not

I found a couple of new blogs yesterday and they had some awesome treats on them. I decided that since the husband was going to be gone all day and night today, the girls and I would bake ourselves silly.

I also promised the husband I would make him a yummy lunch and a yummy dinner. Apparently my crazy is really getting the best of me.

We got up and went to hell the commissary bright and early this morning. I bought all of the ingredients for the treats and for lunch. Dinner was already taken care of shopping wise.

We came home and quickly got to work. The first treat had to be refrigerated and I wanted to get it to the husband with lunch. I got the recipe here. The finished product was indeed as delicious as it sounded. Here is our creation.

DQ helped alot. The toddler was busy climbing on things and falling. I then made the husband, well DQ and I ate them too, French Dip sandwiches that I have the recipe for. He loves them and they are easy and yummy.

After lunch, we started on our next treat. It sounded so good I couldn't help myself. Unfortunately my skills do not match those of the creator. For whatever reason, me and the peanut butter buttercream frosting did not get along. You are supposed to be able to pipe those beautiful design things on the sides of the cake. I started and got about three rows over and the first row was falling off the cake. Again and again I tried. After mucho frustration where I threatened to throw the whole thing out the window, this is what I ended up with.

Not terrible I suppose.
I have baked the cake today and plan on this creation for tomorrow. Please pray for me. When baking the cake (a red velvet one) I got this brilliant idea. The batter is like a blood red. After pouring it into the pan I put a little of the red batter on my finger and went to find DQ. I asked her to call the husband because I had cut my finger. She was freaking out. Screaming MOM GET IT AWAY! I CAN'T LOOK AT THAT! While simultaneously grabbing the phone and asking for his number. I was laughing so hard I was crying. This only caused her more concern. I finally stuck my finger right up to her mouth and asked her to lick it off. She about climbed over the couch. I was still hysterically laughing. This should have tipped her off. It did not. I finally licked it off myself and showed her I was full of it. Good times. She was not happy with me. Too bad.

Also, visit those bloggers that I got the recipes from and enjoy their awesomeness...they really are.

Almost forgot. While I was baking like a mad-woman, I turned around to see this:

The toddler had gotten into the laundry I folded and left on the couch and had herself a bra on.

Friday, November 14, 2008


I once read a blog where they compared trying to meet new friends to dating, and I remember thinking how funny the post was. I couldn't begin to tell you where I read it because to be quite honest I really, really get around in the bloggyworld. Anywho.

I am a recovering Cafemom addict. When I first discovered Cafemom, I could not stop myself from checking it constantly. It was truly pathetic. I have weaned myself and now only check it when I have nothing better to do. I joined a group for my area shortly before moving here, but there isn't really much going on in there usually. I have posted a few times and get no kind of response so, piss on them. Yesterday was funny. There was a mom in my housing area that is new and looking for friends. I have no friends. Great match huh? So, I posted a response giving the general area where I live (it is a HUGE housing area). I, of course, didn't hear from her, but I did go back and read the post later and noticed that someone from my street had also responded. How crazy is that?

I decided to once again put myself out there and email the neighbor mommy. She emailed me back. We are now emailing back and forth. Sad that we live literally two houses apart and are emailing, but hey, whatever works right? I am trying my best to be on my best behavior. I don't want to reveal too many of my bad habits too might scare her off. It's like revealing too much about your life on a first date. Think the scene in Baby Mama where she tells the guy how she wants to have a baby and goes on and on...he excuses himself to the bathroom and you next see him outside hailing a taxi.

So now, I am trying to pretend not to be a crazy, stressed out, potty mouthed, gossiping, mother so as not to scare away this poor woman that I am courting for friendship. I am also trying to figure out if this is someone I would even get along with. I am almost to the point that I can pretty much conform to whatever though. I need interaction with someone taller than 5 foot and not male. Ya know?

Anywho, keep your fingers crossed that I won't reveal the crazy too soon. Mkay?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I Am Risking It All

I am going to risk tarnishing the perfect image of me that you all have because I have spent the last several months carefully painting that picture. I am going to talk bad about my children, my housekeeping skillz, and the husband. I do that already, you say? Ah. Well hmmm. I guess this won't be any big surprise for ya then, will it?

I was cleaning today...for the only time this week mind you...and I thought about blogging this cute little thought: "I despise folding and putting away laundry!". Then, I realized it's not just laundry. It's dishes, sweeping, mopping, picking up, dusting, laundry...basically anything housework related. I know. It's terrible. It's a huge shock. I am not sure who wrote the book that says a stay at home mother is solely responsible for the cleaning of it, but I hate them. With a passion. I know that my good buddy AA somehow has managed to train her entire family to do things around the house, but she steadfastly refuses to allow me to ship mine there to be Amberfied. Meanie.

Remember, back a while ago, the DQ bedroom cleaning fiasco? At that time I decided that not only was that child grounded for 3 weeks, she would also do her own laundry. About a week ago, she managed to bring all of her laundry downstairs, threw it into the hallway in front of the laundry room, and wash and dry one load. This pile of laundry is gigantic. Huge. Did I mention that this hallway is also the entry way into our home? Yes. It is. I have ignored this pile for as long as I could stand it. She has apparently had no need to wash anymore of her clothing, therefore it sits. And sits. And sits. This tells me that the child has way too many articles of clothing for one, and for two she did it on purpose. She brought those clothes down here knowing that eventually I would grow tired of wading through knee deep piles of clothing. I finally cracked. I am now on my fourth load of laundry. Mostly hers. Absurd!

Remember, not too long ago, when the husband returned from his month long playdate? I missed that man like never before, but
I want to wring his neck! His things are now, once again, taking up their residence slung over the back of the rocking chair, the couch, or any other stationery object. I now have to wash clothes every day because he goes through a set PT clothes and ACU's every day. Speaking of ACU's! Who on earth invented these velcro infested uniforms the Army currently sports? Those things! They attach themselves to any and every thing. They even attach to themselves. Prying that velcro apart is no easy task let me tell ya! I sure am glad he's home though.

In case you haven't noticed, I only do housework on days when my ADD is in full effect. Or maybe the housework triggers the ADD? Either way, I can't concentrate on a single thing today. My Wii age has declined today. I made huge improvements over my original old lady score yesterday, but today is another story. I will not embarrass myself and reveal the age, but suffice it to say it is more than double my actual age. Pathetic, that's me.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Quality Family Time...

With a very high price. Yesterday, we decided we would take the girls to see Madagascar: Return 2 Africa. I saw the preview on like Thursday and thought it would be GREAT! It was fun and had music so the toddler would probably sit through it. Just in case, we planned to go during the day (as in matinee...cheaper) so as not to bother any die hard movie goers. I mean, it is a KID's movie and all that, but some people feel as though children should not be in a movie theater ruining their shot at seeing and hearing the movie. Why would these people be in a children's movie disgusted that they couldn't see/hear it? I don't know, but I guarantee they were there. Anywho, we picked a time, missed that time, and chose another.

I paid for the tickets to get in. On a Tuesday, at 3pm, for two adults and one child (toddler is free), the total came to $19. WOW! It has been a while since I went to a movie apparently. We get in line at the concession stand. HOLY CRAP! A large popcorn, an order of nachos because the husband doesn't do popcorn, three large drinks because the chick said it would be the same price to get a large as it would a small for DQ, and a small drink, $30. Seriously? I could have had Red Lobster or Olive Garden or something equally fabulous for the price of drinks and snacks? Now, you know why it is that people SNEAK FOOD into the theater. Bunch of ripoff artists! I will join the leagues of those food sneaking people if ever I return to a theater.

All of this could have been avoided if only the closest drive in theater (30 miles away) would have shown a movie I wanted to see! I mean...the kids wanted to see...yeah that's what I meant. Why aren't there more drive in theaters in the world? I love going to the drive in.

By the way, the toddler did do well at the theater. Only starting to have a tantrum when I restrained her from standing in front of me and trying to play peek-a-boo with the people in front of us. She was stopped with a handful of popcorn and a drink. During the previews, she yelled at the screen every time one of them ended. It was priceless. Good, quality family time that I will treasure for ever and ever...Amen.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Thanks to the Vets

90 years ago today World War ended with the signing of the armistice. Yesterday, I attended a program at DQ's school. It is wonderful to attend programs such as these at a school on a military installation. All of those in attendance are very well aware of the sacrifices that are made daily. I teared up while listening to the children sing God Bless America, America the Beautiful, and You're a Grand Old Flag while searching the crowd for their loved ones and beaming with pride. I got to see what a uniform of a soldier during World War I looked like. I must say, today's uniforms are much more flattering. I listened to a speech given by the most decorated Major my husband and I have ever heard of. I listened as a flag that was flown over Iraq in October of this year was dedicated to the school.

I listened as children recited a poem:

They Did Their Share
By Joanna Fuchs

On Veteran’s Day we honor
Soldiers who protect our nation.
For their service as our warriors,
They deserve our admiration.

Some of them were drafted;
Some were volunteers;
For some it was just yesterday;
For some it’s been many years;

In the jungle or the desert,
On land or on the sea,
They did whatever was assigned
To produce a victory.

Some came back; some didn’t.
They defended us everywhere.
Some saw combat; some rode a desk;
All of them did their share.

No matter what the duty,
For low pay and little glory,
These soldiers gave up normal lives,
For duties mundane and gory.

Let every veteran be honored;
Don’t let politics get in the way.
Without them, freedom would have died;
What they did, we can’t repay.

We owe so much to them,
Who kept us safe from terror,
So when we see a uniform,
Let’s say “thank you” to every wearer.

What a Weekend!

So following my rant, someone who loves me very much decided I needed a break. On Sunday, the husband banished me to my room for the entire day. While I was living it up in my bedroom, he cleaned the house. I shopped. Actually, I window shopped. For hours. I found lots of things to buy. I even snuck downstairs and got my purse with the intention of buying, but I restrained myself. For two very important reasons: 1) Spending money makes me want to puke and 2) someone in this family spends enough for all of us. Case in point:

While the husband was cleaning, or I suppose after he was done, he stalked Craigslist. He found two different items he had to have. He sent DQ upstairs (against his rules) and summoned me downstairs. Someone was selling two cell phones. A Blackberry Pearl and a Palm Centro. I have been eyeballing a new phone for me for quite a while, but I tell ya spending money makes me sick. He proudly shows me the phones and says he's going to email and get them. Then he shows me another posting. My dream posting. The thing I have yearned for. Someone is selling a Wii. I tell him to do what he wants, knowing he will do the right thing. I head back to my sanctuary.

Guess what he did? He emailed BOTH people. Crazy man! Turns out the phones were gone. SOOOOOOOOOOOO I got a Wii. Mine all mine. We went and picked it up and then decided we should go to a store and get games. I picked up a couple of used games (hey, they are cheap and didn't make me puke) and I longed for this Karaoke game I found. I want one. I saw one on Baby Mama and it looked fun! Those stinking things are $60. No way. On the way back to the car:

Me: (Talking to the husband) I really want that game, but I can't make myself spend that kinda money on a video game.
DQ: Mom, just close your eyes and let him buy it. Then you won't know and won't get sick.

Smart little cookie. Anywho, I didn't get the Karaoke game, but I did get to come home and play Wii for hours and hours. I know that I played for too stinking long because every muscle in my right arm and right side of my back HURTS. I did beat the husband in some baseball...and came close in bowling. And today, I beat his behind several times in boxing. Think I had some pent up aggression to get out?

OH, and so that the husband doesn't think I have forgotten or I don't appreciate it, I have to brag a little more. He got online. Found a recipe on Rachael Ray's website. Went to the grocery store and got his ingredients. Came home and prepared the entire meal all by himself. And, it was yummy. What a man! I am one lucky gal!

Last but not least, there is a contest going on over here. I am only putting this on my blog in order to suck up a little more. I don't really expect/want/wish you to enter. Visit her, read her (you will love it), but don't comment on the contest post. Mkay?

Friday, November 7, 2008

Frustration is Building

Life is, at times, ridiculous. I am completely fed up with the legal system in this freaking country. Seriously. I understand that things have to be done a certain way for reasons, but in the meantime...I apologize in advance for what follows.

Unless a child is seriously injured, and I mean seriously, the state will not step in and help them. This is why so many children in this country DIE before anyone does a damn thing to help them. For over 4 freaking years I have fought this battle with a state and it is uphill. It is geared toward helping the accused. The abusers. The neglectful bitches that keep popping out more children to neglect. That's right. It isn't good enough that there are two children suffering in this home, let's add another to the mix. P.S. The caseworker from the state had no idea that this person was with child. Had no idea that this bitch was about to pop out another. She was 8 months along then. Nice investigative work, no? Also, the caseworker had no idea a man LIVED THERE with this bitch and her children. Even though the report was, in fact, that the LIVE IN BOYFRIEND IS ABUSING THE CHILDREN.

In order to get anything legal done about the situation, you must obtain an attorney. An attorney that charges retainer fees and astronomical hourly fees. Fees so high that emails exchanged over a month time period cost close to $400. Guess what? After you are done getting evidence, evidence that it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to obtain and the papers are filed, THE ABUSERS get a FREE lawyer. That's right. They get to be scum and get free legal representation to boot. While the innocent parties and the people that are trying to SAVE them pay out the ass for representation.

Let's talk about evidence of abuse. Ever met an abused child? How many of them wear a sign across their forehead that says THESE ASSHOLES BEAT ME? How many of them run up to strangers to proclaim, THESE PEOPLE HIT ME? How many of them are taken to the doctor where they tell the doctor THESE PEOPLE DID THIS? How many of them go to a therapist that the mother speaks with every visit and say THE PEOPLE I LIVE WITH ARE HURTING ME? I will tell you this...I doubt very many do any of this. So why is it, in order to save a child, you have to have these things? These children are SCARED. They are being beaten. They have gone without a decent meal. They have talked to the caseworkers that come in. Guess what? NOTHING EVER CHANGES FOR THEM. Things don't get better. More than likely they get worse. Would you tell people over and over and over again that bad things happen to you if you knew damn good and well those people were going to tell the abusers what you said AND DO NOTHING TO STOP IT?

Let's talk about the abusers. Ever met one? Do they wear a sign across their forehead that says I HIT LITTLE CHILDREN? Do they tell other adults I BEAT THESE KIDS? Do they take the abused children to the doctor and inform them I KNOCKED HIS HEAD INTO THE WALL THAT'S WHY HE HAS BRUISES? Do they send out emails and letters proclaiming I BEAT KIDS? Of course not. How in the hell are you supposed to have correspondence from the ABUSERS stating there is abuse going on?

I wonder how long it would take the same state to issue an arrest warrant, pick me up, and lock me behind bars if I did what they were unwilling to do? I bet it would be done before the weekend was over. UNBELIEVABLE.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Things You Should Never Say

When the husband was gone on his month long playdate in California, I started a little entry of things you shouldn't say. I have a tendency to be a little insane quirky. I sometimes say things that I probably really shouldn't, but I find it very difficult to hit the mute button (or shut the phone) during these forced separations. This time was a bit different. Maybe I am growing up? Maybe I was too busy? Maybe I had at least partially learned my lesson? Whatever. Here are a few things that may be better left unsaid.

1) Via text message

Me: Effing kids and you
Him: What did I do now
Me: Notta. You know its always your fault when you're gone LMAO

Me: I really hate *name removed*
Him: What now
Me: Im not going in to that, I just wanted to say I hate *name removed*
Him: Umm ok

Me: You are so dead.
Him: I didnt do it.
Me: O yes you did. I woke up to rain this morning and guess what you did?
Him: What
Me: You left the windows on the Jeep cracked!
Him: I dont remember doing that. Oh well
Me: Go get some Ginko already! What do you mean oh well?
Him: Like I can do something about the windows now lol
Me: I rolled them up dude but the pristine interior is ruined.
Him: Ok lol
Me: Good Morning baby! Sleep well?
Him: How you are gonna give me shit before good morning? That's just wrong.


Once learning that there is no privacy there and that the guys always try to read each other's messages....
Me: So you wanna have phone sex?
Him: (birds chirping, crickets cricketing....absolutely no response)
Me: (after about 20 minutes) Just so you know I am ignoring you tomorrow.
Him: (again birds chirping, crickets cricketing...nothing said)

Just so we are clear, I am not that kind of girl. I only asked that question because the other guys would read it, duh! Besides who tells me that everyone reads their messages? That's an open invitation to embarrass in my eyes.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


I don't do politics. I will not say which way I think this country is headed. All I will say is this:

I hope for the sake of this country that the elected President delivers on his promises.

I have little faith in that happening, but one can hope, yes? I don't have little faith in what he promised because of anything more than this: he is a politician. Need I say more?

Okay. Off that subject.

Life is completely back to normal around these parts. I am pissed. I liked the honeymoon phase we were in for all of two days (hahaha). I enjoyed the flirty texts, emails, phone calls. Now I get blank stares or serious cases of huh? For example:

(Via text)
Me: Busy?
Him: Not yet.
Me: O. Ok. Can ya pencil me in?
Him: For what?
Me: Nevermind.

I wanted to be penciled in to slave over the stove preparing yet another hot, homecooked meal. That's it. Perhaps I should dig up the text where I was promised a nice dinner O-U-T because I think someone forgot about that. Do I seem bitter? I think so. Have I mentioned that I am attempting to stop smoking? It blows. Hard.

My hair. DQ says its ORANGE. Either she is colorblind or the only one dumb honest enough to say, hey mom, you look like you are wearing a big carrot on your head! I think she has a death wish either way! it orange? By George, I believe it is. Time to shave my head!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I have been trying to get my hair a certain color for a while now. I decided I would bite the bullet and go to a salon to get it done because my natural color is so dark that no color changed it very much. Then the cheapskate in me said I wasn't spending THAT kinda money on my hair. I went to Sally's and realized how completely dumb I am when it comes to things without directions. I did lots and lots of research on the internet and set out to get a certain color.

I arrived at the store, toddler in tow, armed with the knowledge of which color I was going to get. While I was on that aisle, I started looking. I found other colors I liked better. I text the husband and asked 'Coppery Red or True Red?'. I got tired of waiting for his response and picked out the True Red and headed to another part of the store. Of course, this is when I get his response....Coppery Red. I go back, grab the box, ignoring every warning bell in my head. Okay, not completely ignoring it because I did send him another text informing him that if my hair turned orange I'd kill him.

I was going for a red something like Debra Messing. I am too cheap to pay a salon $100 to achieve this, so I opted for the $10 do-it-yourselfer.

What I wanted:

What I got:

Looking at those pictures, I got what I wanted, but that's only because I can't find a picture of what her hair looked like when I wanted it! It was a different shade of red. I am talking old Will & Grace red. I am still undecided if I like this or not. In the bathroom mirror, to my overly critical eyes, it looks a little pinkish orange. I guess I can't say no color changes my hair very much anymore, eh?

This morning, the toddler was enjoying her some TV. Enjoy!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Fun Monday

Today the toddler had her 18 month check up and shots. It is hilarious to see her with strangers...embarrassing to a point, but hilarious all the same. She refused to talk to the doctor. When he talked to her she stared at him for a moment, turned her head and ignored him without a word. She noticed the kitty calendar on the wall and pointed. When he said 'yes, you see the kitty' she turned her attention elsewhere. He checked all the things he has to check. She politely waited and looked at him like he was insane. He left the room and the toddler jumped down and went about her business opening and closing every drawer and cabinet. She even felt the need to attempt to type away on the computer in the room.

The nurse walked in and the toddler fell still and silent. She looked curiously at her and all of the things in her hands. I then had to do what no parent should ever have to do. Hold my child down. Physically hold her down. She screamed. She tried to kick. She got her hands free at one point (between shots) and slapped at the nurse. She screamed and screamed and screamed. I almost cried. Poor baby. How do you tell a toddler that its for her own good? Anywho.

The nurse seemed a little heartbroken about the toddler and asked to give her a sticker. The brought over a little princess sticker (Cinderella, I believe) and the toddler glanced at it, looked at the nurse, put her nose in the air and turned to look the other direction. It was hilarious! She has so much personality and spunk! We had to sit a few minutes waiting for the allotted time period and she was not happy about this. We finished just in time to meet Daddy for lunch and she was much happier...until the next time she didn't get what she wanted. I think she is still mad at me for holding her down and letting that mean, mean nurse stick needles all over her legs!

At this moment she is kicking at the dog because she is enjoying her snack and does not feel it is necessary to share with him. He disagrees. Fun Monday! How was yours?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Just a Quick How Ya Doin'?

I just had to share some things that happened lately. I am laughing hysterically, inside of course, because if I laughed out loud the husband would probably think I am even more crazy than he already does.

* My dining table is broken. DQ was sitting there having a snack the other day and we heard a crash and a whine. I yelled what was that? She replied, the fell on me. Nice.

* I have a new camera and can now post pictures again. I have a picture of the toddler throwing the fit that caused my camera to be broken last week.

* We took the girls trick or treating last night. Not too far into the whole thing DQ decided she would rather go home and hand out candy. So we did. She? Is not normal!!!! Really cut into my her candy takings.

* While trick or treating, we came across a woman, a mother I assume, pushing a stroller wearing a costume. She was a nurse. A naughty nurse I suppose you could call it. Her boobs were on display. Her ass was just barely, and I do mean BARELY covered. I was disgusted. So disgusted that I quietly commented to the husband Oh, no she didn't. He laughed and said yes she did. The look of terror on his face when I reached for my camera was priceless. He said NO. I said YES. It has to be blogged about dontcha know? I mean, no one would believe this! So, I have a pic. I am posting it. I thought about not doing so in the event that the offender would see her ass plastered on my blog, but I decided we were walking around the neighborhood, with children everywhere, she wanted to display her goods, I am helping her out...

* My girls had a great time last night and were adorable.

* The toddler is going to be a skateboarding chick. I can tell.
* In case you couldn't tell, the husband did arrive home. The toddler has not left his side since she woke up to find Daddy had returned. She is too cute with him. We all missed him so much and I know he missed us. It has been a good great wonderful few days.